NEWS

 

02/25/2009: And this is the official goodbye of the current crew of Cyclone Squadron. The last years were years of victory. This squadron was a pride inside Wing X and ISD Challenge. But we are reached the begining of a new era. Emperor's Hammer has suffer a transformation for a while and now, due to a roster with too many squadrons and few active people, the organization of Wing X has changed too. TCCOM La'an announced a new two-squadron per Wing structure for the TIE Corps, with four squadrons merged in two in case of ISD Challenge. Tempest and Tornado Squadrons are the new squadrons of ISDII Challenge/Wing X. HERE you can see the new roster of Wing X after AWOLs and reassignments. It was an honor to be a Cyclonite. Maybe the future brings a new era for Cyclone Squadron.

 

11/30/2008: [HIST] History of the Galactic Civil War IWATS Course added to the "Temporary Links" for anybody willing to do so to try it. Since this Course is currently PROFless I'll step up in my neverending plotting to take over the Galaxy and name myself acting-PROF for this Course until a new one can be found. :-P BTW, the Course comes zipped as a .doc file along with the test, so if you wanna make your try, you'll need to fill that test and send it over to this crazy dude known as The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone™... and now [HIST] a/PROF too! ;-)

 

11/25/2008: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #32", also the first instalment of my fast-as-light "NUTTY Briefings", was unchained and left alone this very morning. Find your issue at the "Reports Section" or Find your issue at the "Reports Section". Your choice an my first glimpse of idiocy today. :-P

 

11/25/2008: LCM Kael Dalor, Cyclone 3-3, AWOLed today. Come on, pilots, you can use the "mute" function on WinAMP but not here! It carries nasty consequences you see...

 

11/24/2008: "Raise the Flag 2008" begins today!!! The long awaited TIE Corps major competition where the next Flagship and "TCCOM's Own" Squadron will be decided. It's only that "next" and "current" come to be synonyms here, or at least we MUST do our best for it to be so. All rules on scoring HERE.

 

11/24/2008: Ok, do you see that last news entry about 'Chal''s domain overhauling? Splendid, now screw it and toss it through the airlock 'cos some smartass from our esteemed hosting company decided to suspend our hosting account all of a sudden for Palpatine knows what silly excuse. But don't panic; everything is well backed up right here and we're already working on it. Besides... under these circumstances YOU CAN'T be reading THIS and as soon as you can all this crap will be fixed one way or another, right? xD

 

11/20/2008: ISD Challenge domain total overhauling® complete! Check it out using the link at your right. All Wing X Squadrons have now their own subdomains at <squadron name>.isdchallenge.org, even that Tempest decimononic thing! ;-)

 

11/20/2008: "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" Cyclone-only flying competition comes to its end today. HERE you have all results and shinies to-be-awarded as soon as someone comes up with a new system to officially award them... (*sigh*) Praise your two Flight Leaders you!! ~>:F

 

11/12/2008: *YOU* have no mouth and I must scream. Face the bitter truth of "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #31" before it's too late! You can find your issue at the "Reports Section", as usual, or either try to figure out how long will I be able to hold my current CMDR spot if I keep spreading such onslaughts of pure insanity, and make your own reports to the Security Officer. Your choice. My pleasure. Either way you're doomed beyond all recognition. >:-J

 

10/09/2008: New battle released! In this splendid piece of fun from Fleet Admiral Dempsey herself (Yes, AGAIN. :-P) you start your journey in a Pinook and end up... err... in a way such ludicrously epic that you won't believe it! Excellent I tell you!

TIE-TC 239: End of the line

 

11/08/2008: The Emperor's Hammer Command Staff has been finally restructured after quite a long time of planning and evil-plotting! So many "O's" everywhere trying to outrank each other that I'm still trying to figure out how many of them could I fool in order for them to think it's ME who outranks them all... and I'm still dizzy. The Executive Officer himself promised us a graphical version much more easy to understand in days ahead, but for the time being here you have your little briefing:

FC (FSE) > XO (JAG + SO + COO) > GCOs (with TCCOM) = TO (LO) = TAC (SCO) = IO (COMM + RO) = OPS = 3.1415926535KILLME897932...

 

11/07/2008: Admiral Stryker appointed as the new Emperor's Hammer Combat Operations Officer (COO)! Come on, my minions, don't waste this unique opportunity to make someone else's life miserable and send the good Admiral those 50+ pending MP matches reports. The promised "LoCs rain" can begin!

     Our most sincere congrats, Admiral! We've been waiting for you for way too long. But my money is in you not thinking the same... ;-P

 

11/05/2008: Yet another of those unhealthy promo parties which makes us all to look so damned cool and unbehaving an human being. This time our congrats go their merry way to our newest member, Ashkar, Cyclone 2-2, who has just been promoted to full Lieutenant thanks to his efforts on the Multiplayer department of the overall slaughter! Congratulations, Lieutenant! See you at the Wing X Cantina where not even all the lag on your host will prevent us from making you to pay the booze!! >;-)

 

11/05/2008: Delayed again! But less... less than last time and I hope to be able to punish you following the proper schedule next week. >:-) "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #30" has been released like some drunk Rider of the Apocalypse and it's already on your tails! Find your issue at the "Reports Section" as usual and face your demise reading it; the bloody 'Necronomicon' will seem you like some innocent zoological propaganda after reading this one!

 

11/04/2008: Lt. Commander Vitaru, former Cyclone 2-3... dangerous, filthy troublemaker... deranged beyond all hopes... what a dreadful sight, isn't it? Ok, now see him again as Cyclone 3-1, Flight Leader of Cyclone Flight III, "Gale Providers" Scared yet? Not enough I tell you! Due to his excellent performance and commitment towards "The Demolition Crew" I've bestowed upon him the rights of providing you hell as one of my two Flight Leaders. Drinks are on him tonight, peeps! Doom are on you tomorrow... and the day after tomorrow... and the day after that one... and...

 

11/03/2008: The new Cyclone-only flying comp. (read below). "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" is its name and it has been approved by our new EH Training Officer, Admiral Keldorn Cochrane himself. 4 FREE missions. You fly them. You do your best. You send me your pilot files. Easy, ein? A skillful and dedicated pilot can get himself up to a maximum of 5 IS-BWs here! Find all details on "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #30" and show me you're ready to be called Cyclonites on the upcoming "Raise the Flag 2008"! >:P

 

10/02/2008: Lt. Commander Vitaru, Cyclone 2-3, rises as the absolut winner of "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" Cyclone-only fiction/graphics competition! Because his fiction was funny to the point of being NUTS (where did I hear that before?) and because... because... well, because his entry was the only entry for this one. Find his fiction for download at the "NUTS Pinacotheca" section. Shame on you! Pride on him! Less work for me... thanks for this last one but, with all due respect, the dedication you put here just sucks. ~¬¬ I hope you'll do much better on the upcoming Cyclone flying comp (read above).

 

10/31/2008: More battles! More battles for you to fly! FA Anahorn Dempsey has developed some curious phobia to stay inactive, betraying the rest of the Command Staff doing so (just kidding, just kidding, let me live 'till I finish this update :-P), and just cannot stop spamming these crazy fruits of her injured mind. Now you know what to do!

XvT-TC 131: Mousetrap
TIE-FREE 276 : PIRATES!

 

10/29/2008: Delayed once again! If you though the last issue was indeed the worst one ever just wait to read "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #29"! You'll end begging for someone to wake you up from this I tell you. ^_^ Get your copy at the "Reports Section" or you can either start fleeing right here and now to save time. I'll send the bloody Paper-Boy® after your guts!! >.-D

 

10/28/2008: The Emperor's Hammer Fleet Order of Battle has been updated at last, including the latest changes on the Fleet structure! Find it at the Science Office website or just HERE. If you look carefully at your right you'll see the link to the SCO site. If you look more carefully you'll notice you can actually click on it to release the magic of HTTP-teleportation. And if you aren't careful enough you won't be able to come back from there... creepy... (:__|

     And as if that wouldn't have been enough you can now, thanks to our über-l33t Gladiator-style dressed Internet Officer, Admiral Joey 'Stryfe' Calvey, access to a simple (not finished nor polished by any means) way to look for the main data (and *ONLY* the main data yet) of your old TIE Corps profiles. Check it out here or find the link at your right:

http://emperorshammer.org/member/

 

10/27/2008: The AWOL Check ordered by The Flight Office is now over. The following Cyclone members, having proven their unparalelled performance on countless times, have been awarded a splendid... what, shinie? Heh, our duty boots were shiny enough indeed. >:-p A shiny KICK, that's it!!

Lieutenant Dalon Holtz, former Cyclone 1-2
LT Reginald Q. Dork, former Cyclone 1-3
Sub-Lieutenant Psyntience, former Cyclone 2-4
Lieutenant H'Dey Omen, former Cyclone 3-2

     And hang me if I like to do these, on the other hand absolutely necessary, things. But we already had enough decorations to withstand the ""amazing"" activity levels of our comrades up there. -__-U

 

10/25/2008: And two new battles for you to fly! FLY!! Don't think! Don't dare to think on your own! We don't want you to think, we want you to fly! And if you can't help it and you end up thinking on what are you flying and why are you doing so report it immediately to the EH Security Officer and include a photo. Voodoo punishment comes in order here. 0__x

XvT-TC 130: The Chalquilla Wars <--- (You *WANT* to fly this one)
XWA-ID 2: Dark Forces

 

10/23/2008: Attention on bar!! Please provide one of our classic welcomes involving all sorts of unhealthy and unbehaving manners to Sub-Lieutenant Ashkar, who has just arrived from Platform Daedalus to fill Cyclone 2-2 spot on "The Wind of Change". Feel yourself at home, Sub-Lieutenant! Or Asylum for that matter... Anyways, the drinks are on us this time and... and... Wait a sec. After all the time we have been waiting for you to complete your training wouldn't fit better if YOU pay US all the booze? >.-J GET HIM, MY MINIONS!!! We have a matter to discuss™.

 

10/21/2008: Delayed!! Delayed indeed! And just because it has been delayed it will be worse than ever, needing to provide the classic amount of crazyness plus 2 additional days of mind punishment! Here I bring you "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #28"! Retrieve your issue from the "Reports Section" as usual. Oh, you could also try to write some script to steal it directly from the FTP as code, but you'll find it so damned bloated and bad coded after hundreds of WYSIWYG sessions that if you ever manage to decrypt the mess it will be already too late for what remains of your sanity! >.-)

 

10/20/2008: The EH Science Office site is back!! Now you can enjoy again all those EH custom ship patches. Feel free to use the SSSD Sovereign once again (as background decoration), enjoy the pleasures of flying a TIE Praetor (you can even take a nap; THAT overpowered thing goes on its own), don't forget to give a try at the A-9 Vigilance Interceptor (but if a single laser shot gives a try at you you're screwed)... plus the Fleet Order of Battle (OoB) itself (as soon as someone uploads the updated version), game editors, manuals, illogical warfare, suspicious browser games, EVERYTHING!! Check out the new link at "Temporary Links!" at the right. ^_^

 

10/19/2008: You can't believe it!! But it's true!!! Three new battles released by the happy TACcy, FA Anahorn Dempsey, coming hot from the VSD Sinister!... THE BATTLES are coming hot I mean and not... (*ejem*)... ~¬¬ Ok, my minions, here you have:

XWA-HF 1: Hammer Fist
XvT-ID 2: Praetorian Squadron: Capture the Flag
XvT-FREE 223: Choices

 

10/18/2008: We did it!! *I* did it!! Is it important? Heh... as if anybody would be going to ever read this... :-P Now Cyclone Squadron, "The Demolition Crew", is not only the prestigious "TCCOM's Own" Squadron but also the "Wing X Commander's Own" Squadron!! Now whenever we launch on escort mission we'll need to be much more careful; we cannot use the same warhead ordnance for the WC and the FO, that would be completely unbehaving of us! Feel free to save your heavy rockets for the FO himself and provide good old Colonel Domi some Adv. Proton Torpedo fun! ^_^

     Anyways, here below you have the splendid battle medal that Colonel Master from Typhoon made for this competition. Not necessary to say you'll also see it at "Squadron Awards" section, OF COURSE! ^_^

WC's Own medal

 

10/17/2008: Two new Multiplayer-only inter-club competitions for all of you to participate in behalf of The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet, for a total of 4 this very month! Enjoy "XvT Week of War CXXIII" (it will last 'till Friday 24th) and "10 Year Celebration XvT" (it will last 'till November 1st). More details at "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #28" and at "Competitions Section". Now don't even dare to come to me bitching about not having anyone to kill in case of necessity! >:-D

 

10/13/2008: Nooooo, you cannot escape. Face it. A little bit delayed indeed, but not forgotten nor posponed. NEVAH!!! Here I bring you "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #27"! Find your issue at the "Reports Section" as usual or call in the NATO + The Warsaw Pact to help you in stopping me from writing another one of these; I don't mind... maybe THEY will...

 

10/13/2008: You were waiting for this! After quite a long time... A new Cyclone-only competition!! "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" has begun and it will require you to use from your worst manners in order to write some funny fiction involving recent events affecting The Emperor's Hammer as a whole. Yes, THOSE events. So it's time now to ROFL and have fun from what many people so wrongly considered our demise (when it's obvious we'll still be here providing madness long after all that crap has been forgotten). More details on this week's WSR!! >:-J

 

10/11/2008: Promotion time again among "The Demolition Crew"! Lady and gentlemen, your splendid commitment towards this Squadron has granted you an advancement in your ranks (well, maybe that and the fact that the Flight Officer, in charge of approving those, has recently recieved an anonymous transmission with a very special document attached: a bill for a purchase of 50 heavy rockets and up to 250 Adv. concussion missiles, all them as warfare equipment for Cyclone Squadron... >.-)) Anyways...

     Lieutenant Commander Vitaru, Cyclone 2-3, Lieutenant Commander Kael Dalor, Cyclone 3-3, Lieutenant Siriah Tan, Cyclone 3-4: New rank badges for all of you!!! You have deserved it! More details in this week's WSR. But now it's time for PAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!!! :-D

     *MAJ Zósite starts smashing the Chal's main navigational computer with a TIE hexagonal solar panel while singing Xmas songs*

 

10/10/2008: It's HERE!!! It's BIG!! It's MEAN!! It came from space! Yeah, but from very near space actually; from the Flight Office to be exact, which is currently located at this very ship...

AWOL check!!!

     Deadline is October 24th. Respond Colonel Domi's e-mail CCing me before that ominous day or you'll find yourselves kicked out from The TIE Corps Rosters and kissing mynocks before November. After such a major failure only the nastiest begging behaviours in front of the Flight Officer himself would possibly save you!

 

10/06/2008: You didn't want it... but it didn't want you either and here it is anyway. "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #26" is out and looking for you pathetic souls! Find your issue at the "Reports Section", as usual, or you can also try to find yourselves a link within the new Message Boards. But beware! They say those MBs are filled with hordes of crazy dudes who think they're part of some military dictatorship at Galactic scale! They have already been declared illegal in several states and even some swedish cantons. Be careful!

 

10/05/2008: Lady and gentlemen, face the bitter truth: Captain Vertigo won't return from his extended LoA... NO, he's not dead (yet); next time I'll try to plot the ambush better, don't worry. :-P But he has requested his transfer to the Reserves due to *HEAVY* RL issues. The &$€~¬?{ RL always screwing it up and it doesn't seem like stopping it... (*sigh*) We're going to miss you, Captain. We'll be waiting for your return as soon as you manage to fix your RL trouble, don't even doubt it.

     Oh well... at least he'll never find what we did with his booze secret stash... :-P

     But now we'll need a new CMDR, won't we? Ummm... errr... let's see, let's see... it's a rather difficult decission which would take us quite a long time to come up with a good solution and... well... let me ask COL Domi and RA Angel on the subject...

     *Wing Commander and Commodore send Zós to hell on sight*

     Ok, everything now in working order; after quite a hard meditation on the subject our flags have decided to grant you a new CMDR. THIS dude! Yeah, I know... my most sincere apologies; I didn't know they hate you so damned much... xD

 

10/01/2008: TIE Golf '08 has begun!! On a yearly basis all TIE Corps pilots are called to perform like crap at flying for a month, with tons of shinies wating for those capable of taking down the EH Fleet single handedly with their horrible performance, more appropiate for a flying groundhog than for an actual pilot. Signing up is now closed and it has begun with its first two holes. And it seems only LT H'Dey Omen, Cyclone 3-2, and your crazy Flight III Leader will be there defending Cyclone banners. Shame on you!! >:P Well, at least wish us some luck 'cos we're going to need it against so many flying groundhogs. :__|

     And yet another TACcy news entry! One of those I really like! We have now a new XWA Free Mission available at our beloved Compendium, recently released after having been used for "Match the TAC" competition last month. Here I bring you...

     XWA-FREE 142: Grand Master's Escort

 

09/26/2008: Attention there, you rolling piles of alci!! Please provide one of our classic welcome parties to Colonel Obi-Wan, who has just returned from the Reserves to join this our little flying asylum assigned as Cyclone 1-4. All a former CA:FC from the time of GA Ronin maybe he's used to the highest levels of order and commitment. And of course he can keep his commitment but I command you all to screw up his "order" at once at the upcoming party! I wish you the best among "The Demolition Crew", Colonel! Feel yourself at... bar. ^_^

 

09/23-10/01/2008: It's time for LINKS! LINKS! LINKS everywhere! Nothing related to "Legend of Zelda" nor some stupid golf behaviour. These are OUR links and using them wisely we'll be able to carry on until a new database is ready. Since updating all link sections within this site would be a pain-in-you-know-where, I'll just wait until things become clear and stable to do that and just add a new little section under the old "Links" one with those temporary links we should need in order to keep working as we're supposed to! Check it out, this is important, people!

 

09/22/2008: Daniel Bonini, former Challengite and friend of us, decided to cheat everybody with the shortest ToD as High Admiral ever. Nooooo, not him... He decided to improve his cheating and, after settling GA Cyric high on the fumes, he was promoted to Sector Admiral and granted the vacant position of Executive Officer of The Emperor's Hammer! Cheat THAT! o__0

     Ok, Dan, you rock... Cyclone!! Provide the Sector Admiral one of our best Chalquilla boxes from my "Secret Destillery". No, not that one! You remember the one we were keeping safe under tons of cotton and far from the reactor core heat? Use THAT one. ^_^

 

09/21/2008: When you thought you were safe... when you thought it was over... when you thought you were recovering some sort of control over your injured minds... "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #25" came from the shadows to teach you how wrong you can be sometimes! Find you copy at the "Reports Section" as usual or subscribe yourselves to "The Daily Planet", and maybe you'll even find your own stupid reporter babe in danger, I don't mind... :-P

 

09/20/2008: Attention, you drunk piles of flesh!! And fix your uniforms at once dammit, where's your ellegance?! ~>:F After quite a long time we have again a lady among us. Please let me introduce you to Sub-Lieutenant Siriah Tan, whose shuttle arrived just an hour ago from PLT. Daedalus; she's here to join the ranks of "The Demolition Crew" as Cyclone 3-4, thus closing at last my own Flight. The "Gale Providers" is now fully operational, people!! Now you can even count on our TIE Defenders to save your arses once in a while. And now please provide SL Tan one of our classic welcoming parties. "Delirium Tremens" episodes will continue until morality improves!!! >:-)