D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #1 C

July 8, MMVII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >


Welcome to this, my very first Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it as well as I hope your sanity will still be intact after reading it... (who do I pretend to trick anyway? The NUTS way is the ONLY way and you know it! :-P)

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


W LC Kadon Beir has stepped down from CMDR to take Flight II Leader spot. Now he commands "The Wind of Change" and may the Daze Side of the Booze be with him to stand it... (*ahem*)

V A crazy guy who has been around much more time than it's healthy to endure has taken Cyclone Command... now you're reading him.

U I'm still accepting suggestions for the new Flight III name and motto until next Monday. Help me a little or you'll regret it as my damaged mind IS NOT the appropiate tool for doing such things...

T Plenty of new Squadron Competitions for you to put some wreckage at your chest, you greedy vultures! Check below! :D

S NOW!!! The MC-80b "Squid Bucket" Redemption dares to attempt against our skills again, lady and gentlemen!!! To make some facts to be clear on their heads ASAP go and fly the 4 FREE missions needed to participate in the competition. Inferno Squadron under command of Commander Dempsey, former Cyclonite and good friend, has been so kind to join us against the fancy colour guys from Green & Red. Fly then! Fly my minions and go for the highscores as all scores from all pilots will be added and compared to theirs. Not averages or such so participation is of MAXIMUM importance here!! The exact details are HERE and you'll find the mission links below:

XvT-FREE 164
XvT-FREE 193

And if you're trying to send me some excuses to avoid flying better make some rabid racoon involved or else!! >:F

LT Xgmx, former Cyclone 2-2, has been expelled through Executive Orders under charges of disrespect towards EH and conduct unbecoming an Imperial Officer. And the Galaxy breathed again... :____D

Check out my upcoming IWATS competition HERE!! It's not approved yet but now you know about. I'll wait for your tests to arrive as soon as it's approved, but remember that any test arriving here before WON'T count for the competition!

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R As of date I have here only LC Beir's submissions for our competition against the Squids so go and fly by Palpatine's sakes!!

Q Lovely! I hadn't even a %$5¬3@€ response from any of you to my first mail as your CMDR. (*sigh*) At last it seems almost all of you are active on IRC for me to keep you in line >:) Although I'd like to have some words from Captain Wolfblade and Sub-Lieutenant Tyrian too!


II.a) Squadron Competitions

Cyclone & Inferno vs. Green & Red
Details HERE
Now is when we go and show them hell yet AGAIN. Don't fail me guys!! :D

P Cyclone Pilot of the Month July '07 - August '07
Details HERE
The classic competition established by our own LC Beir on its newest edition. I won't participate so YOU KNOW what to do!!

O Cyclone Student of the Month July '07 - August '07
Details HERE
Because here we also learn... slackering at least

N Cyclone über-1337 of the Month July '07 - August '07
Details HERE
This is to boost MP activity so go and fly or else!! >:F

M Guess the Band (DISCONTINUED)
As you can guess with the stepping down of LC Beir this competition has been discontinued as it involved his WSRs... and there's no place for music on my head beyond that of my ion engines and maybe some celtics and metal to accompany!! :P

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Monthly Art and Literature Award #1
Details HERE
Wing Commander Angel wants us to write, draw... maybe even to learn Origami! Write something for him before he decides to blackmail us to learn about the Ceremony of Tea!!

L Challenge Top Gun #1
Details HERE
A whole month to fly 2 missions hunting highscores... the best excuses for not flying them will be awarded a rabid Ewok fencing a pitchfork!!

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L Mr. EH and Ms. EH 2007
Details HERE and HERE
Am I still able to step down to Trainee/Target Drone?

L Build that mission!
Details HERE
Commander Dempsey is still looking for a capable guy to hit the 100% in TM/3. Go and teach her what you're capable of!

KA Rise, Fall & a Birthday!!!!!
Details HERE
Do you want a happy TACcy? You know what to do

J Omega Squadron Banner Competition
Details HERE
Why in the hell would you want to make a new banner for the elites? Well, because of the shiny of course!! ;D And glory and blahblahblah

I Fury of the Emperor's Hammer Run-On
Details HERE
I haven't read it yet so why don't you do something for me? Help them to make it interesting enough so I'll have fun when I'll finally read it!

Roster Fact Hunt I
Details HERE
And here we have the COMM trying to attempt against your database scavenging skills. This cannot be! Go and show him your mouse skills are the best.

H Thursday's Vaping Rhapsody (Multiplayer!!)
My own hosted MP competition! Played on #ehcoo every Thursday from 15:30 EST to 18:30 EST. Either XvT, XWA or IA matches and DFCs available for those skillful enough to get one!

G TIE Corps Capital Brawl (Multiplayer!!)
Hosted by LC Stryker every Wednesday on #ehcoo from 14:00 EST to 19:00 EST. Exclusive FW Multiplayer competition involving capital ships matches. DFCs up for grabs and bribes.

F TIE Corps Training (Multiplayer!!)
Exactly the same as my own competition but hosted also by LC Stryker it happens every Saturday on #ehcoo from 13:00 EST to 16:00 EST.

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Appointed as Cyclone CMDR (1-1)
  • Awarded 2 LoCs
  • Awarded MoC-BoC
  • Awarded IS-BR
  • Awarded 2 IS-GWs


2-1 LC Kadon Beir

  • Appointed as Flight II Leader (2-1)
  • Awarded the Bronze Star
  • Awarded IS-BW

III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Appointed as Cyclone CMDR (1-1) and BSFed my first files!
  • Posted on "A Man(dalorian)'s Tale Pt I" Run On
  • Prepared ATR, MSE & WSR templates.
  • Initiating close contact with Cyclone members (at least trying).
  • Submitted 3 new Squadron competitions for approval.
  • Awarded 2 IS-GWs as SP and MP Ace of June 2007.
  • Awarded MoC-BoC for correct answers on "Roster Fact Hunt I".
  • Awarded IS-BR for posting on "Thunder's Cantina Fight" Run On.
  • Updated the [MP/2] IWATS Course
  • Updated the [AMP] IWATS Course
  • Awarded 2 LoCs on "Thursday's Vaping Rhapsody"
  • Submitted a TC wide competition for approval.
  • Updated Cyclone website.

1-3 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

  • No activity. Send me at least a mail, damnit!!!

2-1 LC Kadon Beir

  • Heavy e-mail and IRC activity
  • Appointed as Cyclone Flight II Leader (2-1) after stepping down as CMDR
  • Awarded BS for his service as Cyclone CMDR
  • Posted on "A Man(dalorian)'s Tale Pt I" Run On
  • Completed XvT-TC 17, TIE-FREE 7, 264, XvT-FREE 7, 164, 193 and XWA-FREE 7 (10 missions)
  • Uploaded a new uniform
  • Helped me A LOT on my first steps as the new Cyclone CMDR
  • Uploaded YET ANOTHER uniform :P
  • Completed XvT-TC 30, 31 (9 missions). Highscore in mission 3 of TC-31!!!
  • Made a CM promotion warrant for his CMDR.
  • Posted on "A Man(dalorian)'s Tale Pt I" Run On
  • Completed XWA-FREE 86
  • Awarded IS-BW as Cyclone PoTW on 07/08/2007 WSR.

3-1 LCM Godo Nurok

  • Heavy e-mail activity and some IRC activity
  • Completed XvT-TC 35 (12 missions)

3-2 COL Rei Ayanami

  • IRC activity

3-3 CPT Bodo Dent

  • Some e-mail and IRC activity
  • Awarded 1 LoC in "TIE Corps Capital Brawl".

3-4 SL Tyrian x 2

  • No activity. 7 DAYS more without any communication level and you're AWOL, Sub Lieutenant.

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. For Flight Leaders: I want your weekly reports on Fridays if possible. It's not mandatory but... it's better to not take risks...


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


Commander Zósite Kónstyte Styles has just returned from his "Flying Office" as the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge is about to enter hyperspace again. He throws his pilot helmet over Lieutenant Colonel Beir's desk at his office and stares at the new über-uniform that Lieutenant Colonel Tempest has designed for the former Cyclone CMDR.

"Hmmmmpff... where the hell is the Squadron patch? >:F"

- Do you like it, Zós? Isn't it wonderful? A splendid gift after this hectic week it is.

- Too many damn stripes at your arms... you did well requesting it before stepping down, Colonel.

- Heh. Well, you know, it's difficult to say bye and my Flight Leader uniform can wait. At least until we fill again "The Wind of Change" Now that Xgmx's ass makes its way to hell we have again recruitment stuff to do.

- Have we ever been free from it? I've already sent some of my last booze shipment to the FO Office at the Cantina along with my request for him to toss some Cadets here. Anyway, now I start trembling whenever I establish communication with Platform Daedalus... Xgmx's friends could be around... :-|

- Now if only Vice Admiral La'an would do sanity evaluations also on Daedalus as he does here.

- BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You must be joking, Beir! We have been able to avoid them for months sending him the results from our maintenance crew instead. On the other hand... here you are your new assignment.

LC Beir gets the piece of paper that Commander Styles holds. It's bizarrely painted with some fancy colours but the pink seems to dominate above the rest. He reads it carefully.

- So those "Squid Heads" have at last what they want. Well, time to perform and fly again on my part; I want also some shinies FROM YOU!! >:)

- Don't sell the bear's skin before killing it, Colonel. They will surely give us a run for our mo... booze.

- Yeah, well... just a question... C-O-M-M-A-N-D-E-R...

- ¬_¬

- What will we do after breakfast?

- o__xU

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)


Executor [EXCR] (3000 points) & Top Ace 4th (250 points)

[3411] & [279] CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Grenadier [GREN] (10 points) & Marksman 4th (10 points)

[24] & [11] CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[501] & [3] LC Kadon Beir

Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & No rank (0 points)

[196] & [0] LCM Godo Nurok

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[123] & [31] COL Rei Ayanami

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[84] & [2] CPT Bodo Dent

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Tyrian

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade
4) TBA

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade
4) TBA

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LC Kadon Beir
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

Nickname: The Polish Patrol
Motto: "Polish and Proud"
1) LCM Godo Nurok
2) COL Rei Ayanami
3) CPT Bodo Dent
4) SL Tyrian

Squadron Citations (9):
   XvT-TC Battle 4 - Encounter with the Black Sun
   XvT-TC Battle 12 - Odin's Redemption
   XvT-TC Battle 14 - Orion Base Crisis
   XvT-TC Battle 20 - Mysterious People
   XvT-TC Battle 21 - Project X: the T-65C A2 project
   XvT-TC Battle 22 - Rebel Cargo
   XvT-TC Battle 24 - Princess Tatoka's Meeting
   XvT-TC Battle 32 - Wing XIV: WC Trouble
   XWA-TC Battle 2 - First Contact

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/CM Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SSx2/BSx5/PC/ISM/MoI/IS-20BW-23BR-6SW-5SR-14GW-1GR/LoC-RS-CSx8-Rx4/DFC-BW-Rx2/MoC-6BoC-1SoC-1GoC/CoB [EXCR]

Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07 / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."