D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #19 C

November 27, MMVII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >


Welcome to this, my nineteenth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". First of all I want to present you my apologies yet again for the delay with this report and its lacking of my usual NUTS speech but the reasons behind this are exactly the same as those for the delay of my last one. I hope it won't happen again with WSRs for next month. Besides, when these WSRs start to be on time again it will mean that this our mighty ship is again the Flagship of the TIE Corps and you, my minions, are proud members of the next "TCCOM's Own" Squadron, and I hope this will mean something for you. ;-)

And as for your activity last week, what can I say? Splendid yet again. You truly deserve whatever I and your flags decide to toss to your dress uniforms. Keep it on! Just one more week! Almost there!!! :-D

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V "Raise the Flag 2007" still running!! ISD Challenge still leads ship-wise as Cyclone still leads Squadron-wise and myself still lead "could-do-with-professional-help" dude-wise. Nuff said. The Multiplayer Bonus Competition is over now and your blasted CMDR ranked as 1st! player there earning himself an IS-GW, a ton of LoCs and 150!! more tasty points for the Squadron and the ship. I want to emphasize here the efforts of your mate Captain Bjorn Wolfblade who ranked 7th after having flown with me up to 6 times. He lost but he put there an excellent effort and that's all that matters for me. Consider Cyclone proud of having you around, Captain, and better luck next time. =)

     And now it's time for one last sprint! RtF Single Player Bonus Competition will be running until the end of the month and you have exactly these days to fly the following battles doing your best to achieve there the highest score possible. We CANNOT let those 200!! points to go as they will assure our final victory: >.-)

     TIE-TC 233: The Adventures of Darby the Love-bot
     XvT-TC 121: Mystery in Space - Part 1
     BoP-TC 20: Captain Cook's Great Adventure
     XWA-TC 53: Imperium Invasion

V The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet ranked 2nd in last October XvT Week of War CXII!!! But face it: this was because we were very busy with RtF; next month we'll teach them again a couple of nasty things, you can be sure. >:-) Let's forward our most sincere congrats to Admiral Daniel Bonini, Flight Officer and TCCOM, and Admiral Anahorn Dempsey, our esteemed happy-TACcy, for their invaluable help there... No, I don't want you to forward me anything; it will arrive with some timer device attached to high volatile stuff, I'm pretty sure... ¬_¬

V Pilots, please provide your best (drunk) congrats to Lieutenant Brian Klem, Cyclone 2-3, on his first and last Commendation of Bravery award after having met by far the expected requirements. Excellent work, Brian!! With this you have just left behind all that people who lose their motivation one week after joining the Fleet thus leaving their Squadrons with one less spot an one extra useless pilot. Keep it on!! :-D

V Some of the (DELAYED³) merit medals from last October MWE arrived at last!!! Let's see... (*ahem*)

     Lieutenant Commander Verde, one step forward!!... ... wtf?!! >.F ... Leave alone your FL's neck you fool! I didn't mean that. For your impressive efforts during last month, flying no less than 47 missions and passing over 8 IWATS Courses with distinction, not to mention your participation in several competitions for your Squadron, your ship and also Fleet-wide (remember "LO's Vault" and "Number of the TIE Flying Beast"? :P) as well as your excellent levels of e-mail communication you have been awarded The Palpatine Crescent. Our most sincere congrats on this deserved recognition to your merits, and since you're doing even better this very month so better will be your next one. ;-)

     Colonel Maverick, please, one step forward!!... hmmmpfff... ~>:F Get out of MY chair you!!! For your very decent work as Flight III Leader during October as well as your proven efforts towards the Multiplayer thingie with an interesting number of LoCs upon you, not to mention your excellent and mantained communications levels and overall dedication to the Squadron you have been awarded The Imperial Security Medal. Have our most sincere congrats, Colonel. But, Mav... I know you're capable of much more as you're already demonstrating in RtF. Please OBLIGUE me to award you something better in months ahead. ;-)

     Lieutenant Akur, one step forward!!... (*ouch*)... Ok, one step backward and you clean my boots now!! >:-( Despite your lack of flying activity to date plus your recent issues with your computer have me very concerned about (not your fault, don't worry =)), your performance during last October was but very decent and beyond what we're used to see from new (and some not so new) pilots. Your communications with both me and your FL were nice and as a student at the IWATS Academy you have demonstrated the high levels of motivation and learning skills necessary for me to reward your efforts with The Imperial Security Medal, your first merit award! Keep it on and even increase your activity if you can so I'll be able to award you something better next time.



     Lieutenant Commander Vertigo and Major Zósite... err... too damned ugly to get a shiny. Maybe next week... ;-P

V Lieutenant Katherine, Cyclone 3-2, appointed as a new Tactical Surveyor (TCS) at the VSD Sinister!! Thanks for your help there, Kate! We were needing some capable people there and surely we'll do better with your experience among us. ;-)


( Ok, here you have your "Spoiler": I CHEAT!! I'm a bloody CHEATER!! But no, leave the poor TACcy alone... I didn't do anything with my pilot files but more with my last "sanity test" from Admiral La'an... there I stated there're no lemmings under my bed but I wisely forgot to say all I found I tossed 'em to one of my alambics and hence that new booze recipe you tasted on last promo party. My fault. But please, stay away from me; that thing you drank proved to be very unstable on the "beta-drinking" and all my Destillery is now messed up with several amounts of fried furballs here and there... ^_^U )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R Once again, my minions, you proved to be exactly what Cyclone needs in these dark times!! I just haven't words to tell you how proud I am of -almost- all of you! :-D Keep it on!! Just another week!! And for the rest of you I do have words and you can be sure you'll hear them as soon as RtF is over and I'm free again to come to you with some questions... ~):-|

Q Kate has just reopened the old Cyclone mailing-list and all you should have already recieved some notification about. Please sign yourselves there if you haven't done it yet and send some e-mail to the mailing list (or answer mine) so we can see you're already signed (not necessary to make yourselves a Yahoo account to join the Yahoo group, just sign into the mailing list). This way we'll have our own mailing list only for Cyclone, as well as we have the Wing X one, for whatever we could need it in days ahead. Not needing to find and gather all our e-mail addresses whenever we want to talk to the whole Squadron seems like a good start to me.

     And if you can't find that e-mail inviting you to join please write either me or Lieutenant Kate telling us about so we can send you another one.

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to all your suicidal friends attaching a link to the site with the subject: "Stop it now!! Here you are a better way to waste your lifes and if you finally die the dramatism will be much higher. Besides, you're not sucides anymore but Imperial Kamikazes®!"

Q And here you are the current (yeah, from last week :-P) status of our Squadron-level competitions for November! Excellent work, lady and gentlemen! Keep it up and I won't try to explain you The Parrot Joke™ again... or at least that's what I say. :-J

Cyclone Pilot of November '07 - December '07

LCM Vertigo - 150 missions!
LT Katherine Cantor Flyer - 112 missions!
LCM Verde - 99 missions
LT Brian Klem - 49 missions
COL Maverick - 34 missions

Cyclone Student of November '07 - December '07

LT Katherine Cantor Flyer - 6 IWATS Courses
LCM Verde - 2 IWATS Courses
LT Brian Klem - 1 IWATS Course

A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks!

I'm still waiting for any of you interested enough in having a HS-hunting competition for ourselves to contact me in order to submit a new edition of this one. It's up to you, guys! My duty is to provide you with ways of improving yourselves as TC pilots but if you prefer to improve as standing ergonomic chairs feel free to do so. But please, don't come later bitching about why on hell so many people out there always outscore you in Fleet-wide SP flying competitions! ):-F

II.a) Squadron Competitions

P Cyclone Pilot of the Month November '07 - December '07
Details HERE
This classic "flying-tons" competition on its newest edition. I won't participate so YOU KNOW what to do!!

O Cyclone Student of the Month November '07 - December '07
Details HERE
Because here we also learn... slackering at least

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Challenge Top Gun #3
Details HERE
A whole month to fly 2 FREE missions hunting highscores... the best excuses for not flying them will be awarded a rabid Ewok fencing a pitchfork!!
This month's sorties are:

L Wing X Pilot of the Week #2
Details HERE
And here we have again the classic Wing X PotW/PotM!! But behold! This time it's a strictly flying one and the Iron Stars come with wings and not ribbons. FLY!! Fly as hell and don't even think why are you doing so and you may get IS-SWs/IS-BWs, a broken joystick and a brand new mental disorder. 3 for the prize of 1!! :D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L Ace of the TIE Corps - October 2007 (November edition not submitted yet but it will be there 100% sure... someday :-P)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself?

L Raise the Flag 2007
Details HERE
It's here!! It's happening again! The rest of the TC ships dare to question our "Flagship" title once again. This cannot be!! During this whole month we will teach them to keep themselves where they should be... UNDER US! And I hope the best from all you for this to happen... or else* ( * =
something so horrible and nasty that I fear even to tell you about for the sakes of your mothers' happiness)

L Raise the Flag 2007 - Single Player Bonus Competition
Details HERE
This is the last RtF Bonus Competition and there you've the stuff you have to fly to get yourselves 200, 150 or 100 extra bonus points plus the classic IS-wreckage. Damn! Those are just too many points to let them go. Go and accomplish with your duty, pilots!! I want all you to do your best here or you'll have me doing my worst there >:P

L SECO Banner competition
Details HERE
Now it's Vice Admiral Apophis Kuma, our new SO, who wants a banner for his office. IS-SW and IS-BW... for making a banner?!! And no goldies in a TC-wide comp.?!!! Well, I'll just include it here as usual but be ready to see those basis modified or something. :-P

L MP Ace of the TIE Corps - October 2007 (November edition not submitted yet but it will be there 100% sure... someday :-P)
Details HERE
MP division of the monthly Ace competition above. KILL everybody and feel proud for it!!
IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

L Build that mission!
Details HERE
Admiral Dempsey is still looking for a capable guy to hit the 100% in TM/3. Go and teach her what you're capable of!

L TAC's Best (november 2007)
Details HERE
Great!! Lovely!! Not only the highscore-hunters around will see their FCHG increased while destroying your hopes slowly but they'll also earn IS-GWs and IS-SWs for it! Your only hope? To be ONE OF THOSE damned highscore-hunters!

H Wednesday's Vaping Rhapsody (Multiplayer!!)
My own hosted MP competition! Played on #ehcoo every Wednesday from 12:30 EST to 15:30 EST. Either XvT, XWA, FW or IA matches and DFCs available for those skillful enough to get one!

G TIE Corps Capital Brawl (Multiplayer!!)
Hosted by the COO, Vice Admiral Stryker, every Wednesday on #ehcoo from 14:00 EST to 19:00 EST. Exclusive FW Multiplayer competition involving capital ships matches. DFCs up for grabs and bribes.

F TIE Corps Training (Multiplayer!!)
Exactly the same as my own competition but hosted also by Vice Admiral Stryker it happens every Saturday on #ehcoo from 13:00 EST to 16:00 EST.

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles   

  • Awarded IS-GR
  • Awarded IS-GW


2-2 LCM Verde    

  • Awarded The Palpatine Crescent


2-3 LT Brian Klem    

  • Awarded The Commendation of Bravery


2-4 LT Akur    

  • Awarded Imperial Security Medal


3-1 COL Maverick    

  • Awarded Imperial Security Medal


3-2 LT Katherine Cantor Flyer    

  • Awarded IS-BW
  • Awarded IS-BR


III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles   

  • Busy as hell with stuff for my RL Astrophysics PhD. WSR delayed a few days. My apologies. :\
  • Completed TIE-TC 233 (4 missions) (Highscores in ALL missions and battle highscore!).
  • Completed TIE-TC 11,20,22,197-199,202,204,205,207 (AGAIN) (47 missions).
  • Awarded IS-GR for 1st place in "Raise the Flag" graphics division.
  • Graded [XML] IWATS.
  • Compiled last week delayed WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone website.
  • Completed TIE-TC 234 (15 missions) (Highscores in ALL! missions and battle highscore!!).
  • Completed TIE-FREE 268 in beta-testing.
  • Awarded IS-GW for 1st place in "Raise the Flag" Multiplayer division.

1-2 LT Cochala        x 3

  • No contact since... since... I can't remember... just wait until RtF is over and we'll talk a little, Lieutenant >;P

1-3 LT Lvpps        x 3

  • Exactly the same as LT Cochala up there... ¬_¬

1-4 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade       

  • I don't see him around since we played those MP matches together... what's up, Captain? ;-P

2-1 LCM Vertigo      

  • Sent Flight Leader report.
  • Completed XWA-FREE 5. (AGAIN)
  • Completed TIE-TC 233 (4 missions).
  • Completed XvT-TC 121 (4 missions).
  • Completed XvT-DB 5,6,8-10,14-17 (40 missions).
  • Outstanding e-mail activity, as usual. And he was on #wing_x again a couple of days last week.

2-2 LCM Verde       

  • Finishes fixing his computer issues.
  • Completed TIE-TC 13,14 & 16 (17 missions).
  • Made an entry for his character at the "Encyclopedia Imperia".
  • Awarded PC from October '07 MWE.
  • Passed [WIKI] IWATS Course - 87%.
  • Completed TIE-TC 18 & 19 (8 missions).
  • Excellent e-mail communications either with me, his FL and his Flight mates!!

2-3 LT Brian Klem       

  • Completed TIE-TC 5-9 (26 missions).
  • Awarded The Commendation of Bravery!
  • As he said himself, talk is not his strong point but he says what he has to say when he considers it appropiate. Fair enough for me. Actually I'd like many people in my RL to do exactly that... ;-)

2-4 LT Akur       

  • Awarded ISM from October '07 MWE.
  • He answered to his FL e-mail and told us that he's now trying to buy a new computer since his last one found its way to hardware-hell... (:-P

3-1 COL Maverick       

  • Awarded ISM from October '07 MWE.
  • Uploaded a new uniform into the database.
  • Impressive e-mail communications even helping us all to get rid of yet another Mirei clone plus his usual IRC presence.

2-3 LT Katherine Cantor Flyer       

  • Awarded IS-BW for Cyclone Pilot of the Week.
  • Made several submissions for the "Encyclopedia Imperia" including ISD Challege, Typhoon Squadron, Cyclone Squadron and her own character.
  • Passed [WIKI] IWATS Course - 87%
  • Awarded IS-BR for passing [WIKI] IWATS Course while on competition time.
  • It seems she went on a mini-LoA and hence her lack of communications for the rest of the week.


IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. For Flight Leaders: I want your weekly reports on Fridays if possible. It's not mandatory but... it's better to not take risks...


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


"Raise the Flag 2007" is coming to and end with only the SP Bonus Competition left. All pilots from Wing X, stationed onboard the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge, did their best for the ship to keep its Flagship title. All pilots from Cyclone Squadron did their best not only for the ship but also for the Squadron so it can be the next "TCCOM's Own" Squadron. Major Zósite Kónstyte Styles did his best for all this to happen and he still leads the competition as player so far. But some people say this is driving him even more NUTS than usual and his stress is starting to affect the pitiful remnants of sanity on him. One of his pilots said he saw him talking with one of his Iron Stars, and last time he got an interview with the Flight Officer he was wearing a very strange hat and insisted on addressing the TCCOM as Grand Admiral Nelson while explaining him all the tactics necessary for the EH Fleet to win the battle against the enemies of the (British?!) Empire.

To further protect his Squadron, his ship, the Fleet and all known Universe from this recent insanity onslaught by MAJ Zósite the EH High Command Staff decided to imprison him in the Dungeon Ship Lichtor V, where they hope that those devices capable of keeping powerful Jedi Knights unable to use their powers to escape will also work with the crazy CMDR. Last news from the Lichtor V tell about all Praetorian Squadron members abandoning their old home after Zósite insisted in talking with their CMDR, Lt. Colonel Dirty Vader. We'll try to keep everybody updated on last events there.



VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)


Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Top Ace 1st (400 points)

[4942] & [493] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

No rank (0 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[4] & [3] LT Cochala

No rank (0 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[2] & [2] LT Lvpps

Grenadier (10 points) & Marksman 4th (10 points)

[24] & [11] CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

Tesserarius [TSRS] (1000 points) & No rank (0 points)

[1070] & [0] LCM Vertigo

Gallant [GALL] (200 points) & No rank (0 points)

[207] & [0] LCM Verde

Lancer [LANC] (25 points) & No rank (0 points)

[49] & [0] LT Brian Klem

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Akur

Legionnaire [LGNR] (400 points) & Certified (5 points)

[425] & [6] COL Maverick

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[115] & [2] LT Katherine Cantor Flyer

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Cochala
3) LT Lvpps
4) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Cochala
3) LT Lvpps
4) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Vertigo
2) LCM Verde
3) LT Brian Klem
4) LT Akur

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) COL Maverick
2) LT Katherine Cantor Flyer
3) TBA
4) TBA

Squadron Citations (4):

   TIE-TC Battle 1 - Capture of Zaarin
   TIE-TC Battle 2 - Strike at Calamari
   TIE-TC Battle 3 - New Dimensions
   XWA-TC Battle 2 - First Contact

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SSx3/BSx8/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-63BW-27BR-22SW-10SR-20GW-5GR/LoC-RSx2-CSx5-Rx3/DFC-SW-Rx3/MoC-11BoC-2SoC-1GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoB/OV [GLDR]

Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."