D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #20 C

December 2, MMVII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >


Welcome to this, my twentieth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". What can I say? What is to be said after what we did, lady and gentlemen? Nothing but stating the true facts, that should be enough for everybody and let's let those featuring reading skills to judge by theirselves...

  • Fact I : The Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge is The TIE Corps Flagship again.
  • Fact II : Cyclone Squadron was the best Squadron overall in the competition and so it will be the next "TCCOM's Own" Squadron.

Please read below and you'll find all details on these subjects. And rest well this night... tomorrow we'll have our "debriefing" at Wing X Cantina where I've ordered to bring a full "Chalquilla Container Transport®" cargo for us to better celebrate this moment. Face it: you're right now witnesses of yet another glorious moment for Cyclone, a moment that will remain there (I'll make sure for that to happen), a moment that will make your names to be remembered as long as this Fleet keeps having its yearly "Raise the Flag" competitions.You have my most since admiration and congratulations for what you did and I'm sure I won't be the only one from this our mighty ship wanting to thank you about. Aaaaaand...

  • Fact III : The rest of Squadrons from Wing X as well as our drunk... slack... ermmm... superb flag officers performed also excellent and, although what Cyclone got was only due to its merits, the fact of the Chal being the TC Flagship yet again wouldn't have been possible without the combined efforts from all of us!

So far... skillful pilots and comrades from Wing X, you all have the most sincere congrats from "The Demolition Crew". We rock, guys!!! :-D Let's sink it into booze now!!!



I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V "Raise the Flag 2007" is OVER!!! The SP Bonus Competition ended and fell again at Cyclone's side! Your own flying-loops-mind CMDR achieved 1st! place there earning himself another IS goldie plus 200! tasty points for both the Squadron and the ship. Our most sincere congratulations to Lieutenant Commander Vertigo, Flight II Leader, and Lieutenant Kate, Cyclone 3-2, who achieved there 5th and 6th places respectivelly. Excellent work!! :-D LCM Verde got 23rd place but that's only because he flew just the TIE battle. Thanks anyway to you too Verde, your points also found their way here.

     Right now, at the moment of this writing, the final scores are being processed by the Flight Office but I can tell you from now that due to a BIG-FAT difference of thousands of points the ISD Challenge is definitely the TIE Corps Flagship again!!! :_D Check the exact scores in further official reports from Flight Office personnel if you want.

    So far Cyclone Squadron has been, also by a BIG difference, the absolut winner Squadron-level!! Y-A-Y on us!!! Hereby we're the next "TCCOM's Own" Squadron, lady and gentlemen. And I'm especially proud of -almost- all of you since all your efforts counted there, each and every single point I tell you. Those of you with a nice 0 at your points section hereby have also 0 chances to avoid myself coming there and asking WTF?!! using from my classic... yeah, friendly manners... stay tunned.

    And as for your own Major NUTS ever CMDR, well, he achived victory player-wise but then again... that's not important... except for himself, that shinies-collecting-bastard you know... ;-P Important is the fact that also LCM Vertigo and LT Katherine and maybe also LCM Verde ranked very decent there, but since the FO is right now screwing up the RtF board for some unknown reason (maybe he's cutting-pasting stuff to somewhere else. Hell? dunno... :-P) I cannot tell you what exact place did they get. Just take a look at those final scores when they're ready.

    Then again... VICTORY!!! Period. Nuff said. And may those laurels be with us!! :-D

V "Tie Golf 2007" also came to its end last week. From Cyclone only your own "mind-condition-l0v3r" CMDR participated there and ranked 4th player overall being awarded with some NUTS number of Bronze wreckage (take a look at the "Awards" section and you'll see how crazy those CS friends can be when they're up for it xD). I know that LT Akur, Cyclone 2-4, was also in the mood for participating there since he signed himself, but in the end I guess his computer issues prevented him to do so. Sorry, Lieutenant, maybe next time. :-\ To the first 3 ranking players, Lt. Colonel ("XWA IS the traitor") Tempest, Kappa 3-2, Admiral Daniel ("Who enclosed an ewok in my guitar?") Bonini, Flight Officer and TCCOM, and Captain Thaas ("I need MP opponents!!") Pobyn, Krayt CMDR, we forward our most drunk and unhealthy congrats. ^_^

     ...And NO!! We didn't rubber-band our joysticks but we're ready to rubber-band some mouths around next time we hear that I tell you... ~¬_¬

V The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet achieved victory once again in the November XWA Week of War CI!! And this was only the merit of Admiral Anahorn Dempsey (happy-TACcy) alone! She flew there with no loyal Imperial wingmates at her side. (Shame upon all us; I know we were very busy with RtF stuff but even then -__-U) So far, this only demonstrates what it should be pretty obvious for everybody out there: an EH pilot can annihilate the glory-hopes of everybody else single handed! For her accomplishments she will be awarded soon the appropiate LoCs plus a DFC and myself will forward her my apologies for not having been there. Next month we'll perform as a team again. We don't need it, of course, but to see all those guys from other clubs losing "the North" due to our outstanding 2v2 performace is sooo funny... :-D

V VERY IMPORTANT!!! The ISD Challenge Internet hosting server was changed this week by Rear Admiral Darklord himself due to some issues with the last one (basically they tried to cheat us providing plain crap for those credits we invested on them hence why we leveled their offices to nothing with some turbolaser salutations and overall orbital bombardment). Now everything is ORG. ORG ORG ORG!!!!! OOOOOOOOORG!!!! No NET anymore. It's very easy: did you ever see "Sesame Street"? Yes? Excellent? Then just imagine I'm the bloody Cookie Monster. Where you used to put NET, you put ORG. So isdchallenge.org, cyclone.isdchallenge.org and in general stuff.isdchallenge.org and the same of the mailing list, wingx@isdchallenge.org and all your e-mail addresses with "isdchallenge" on them as RA Darklord's address (darklord@isdchallenge.og). And the first dude we caught using again the NET thingie we'll award him some fancy new glasses, then we'll use his nose as a target crushing it plus his fancy new glasses.

V Your little hell branch with long hair and short common sense, let's call it CMDR, was awarded again the title of "TAC's Best" for November due to a much more than just decent number of highscores. I told you to train yourselves in HS-hunting and I know some of you are already doing your best and let me tell you that very well but... then again, not ENOUGH. Keep training so we can even increase our current supremacy in points for further flying competitions. Speaking of which... next subject!! --->

V Competititions!! Here we talk about competitions! New editions of our 2 Squadron-level classic competitions have been submitted and I even made a new edition of our HS-hunting one, "A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks! (December '07)". Check all details HERE and also at the "Competitions" section below. To be honest I didn't recieve many answers from you about if you were interested on a new edition or not but 1) The few I recieved were positive & 2) It's not soooo hard to fill a Comp. Approval Form and as I like to find some variety among my approved ones there you go >:). Well, you can't actually complain too much: there're so many Bronzies there that you'll think you're stuck in some prequel of "300" if you manage to get half of them. xD Come on, they're only 4 FREE missions for ALL a month! If you're going to underperform you can't make it SO OBVIOUS by Crom's sakes! I'll be waiting for your pilot files, lady and gentlemen. I'll put my own scores in these reports as well as the previous HSs for you to check them as soon as I fly 'em all. ^_^

     Sadly, I had to retire those IS-BRs for 100%s in "Cyclone Student of the Month" under direct request from the Training Officer himself. Admiral Astin thinks there're too many shinies floating around for a single Squadron with all these competitions combined and maybe he's right. So you've heard the TO-man, lady and gentlemen: only 1 IS-BR available at the end of the month as well as the title for whoever demonstrates to have time enough to waste filling his/her IDline with a bunch of cryptic syllabes! ^_^u

V And more competition stuff!! My hosted MP competition, "Wednesday's Vaping Rhapsody", changes its schedule once again and will take place on Sundays instead at the same hour. I think this schedule will be even better towards participation but if you don't like it go and blame on my PhD PROFs who seem to believe I'm their handful bi<CoC CENSORED> or something. And they couldn't be more right damnit! -__-U So that's it, if any of you ever feels the necessity of frying some asses as real pilots do you know where we are. And if anybody here is still wondering what will be the new name for this competition feel free to check below at the "Competitions" section. And then come here so I can get some fun of you while trying to figure out how the hell were you ever allowed to pilot anything beyond a donkey cart.


( "Spoilers"!!!! "Spoilers"!!!! We achieve victory and all you want are stupid "Spoilers"...hmmpfff... There! )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R Now that RtF is over it's time to sort out this asylum we call a Squadron a little. Flight Leaders! Contact immediately your FMs and find what new evil stuff are now they getting into. Motivate them, track their activity, make them suffer! >.D Flight Members! Contact immediately your FLs and tell 'em about your future activity plans for this month, ask them whatever you need, exploit them, make them suffer! >.-D All of you!! Don't hesitate to contact me whenever you want! Tell me about your problems, your doubts, your hopes, your evil plots to take over the Squadron, the ship, the Galaxy! Make me suffer! :__D Then again, recruiting activity is a must. We still have 2 spots to fill in Flight III and maybe even more if it happens what I think it will happen here ¬_¬... Do your best with those Reservists and new Cadets!

Q We're still trying to get everybody signed at the new Cyclone mailing list. Kate is supposed to send you all new invitations to join and I want you to do just that. I already sent you an e-mail on the subject so I think this should be enough for you to realize what you must do now. I'll be waiting your first testing e-mail addressing the mailing list to respond ASAP so you can check if it's working for you. Don't forget! Will we ever see the day when all "Demolition Crew" insanity comes from a single source? xD

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. Hehehe!! You'll find now some mandatory update at the "Awards" section, of course. ^_^ All complaints are to be sent directly to God. Why God? Well, because if after all we did you dare to forward a complaint about ANYTHING I'll send you with him using the classic "kick-in-the-ass/open-airlock-nearby" trick and he might want some explanations. So the subject this time must be something like: "Hereby I clearly state the main reasons for me to be here just in time. My CMDR was kindly enough to provide me the logistic device."

QAnd here you are the final status of our Squadron-level competitions for November!!! Congrats to all of you who participated there, I'm but very proud of you. And more proud of all your points which will be useful for me to get some glory as CMDR of the winner Squadron and... (*ahem* *coff*) Next week I'll make public the status of this month's competitions, as usual.

Cyclone Pilot of November '07 - December '07

LCM Vertigo - 229 missions!       Cyclone Pilot of the Month!!
LT Katherine Cantor Flyer - 131 missions!
LCM Verde - 122 missions
LT Brian Klem - 49 missions
COL Maverick - 34 missions

Cyclone Student of November '07 - December '07

LT Katherine Cantor Flyer - 6 IWATS Courses!       Cyclone Student of the Month!!
LCM Verde - 2 IWATS Courses
LCM Vertigo - 1 IWATS Course
LT Brian Klem - 1 IWATS Course

A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks!

NOW!!!! Now you're in trouble my minions! A new edition of this crap has been submitted for December and this section will be filled again in no time with all sorts of senseless numbers for you to come up with higher ones. Bronze stuff for everybody and happy-happy Imperial Xmas with your bronze Xmas tree where you can put all those bronze bollocks for all your happy-happy friends to acquire some unhealthy bronze skin colour from pure envy.

II.a) Squadron Competitions

P Cyclone Pilot of the Month December '07 - January '08
Details HERE
This classic "flying-tons" competition on its newest edition. I won't participate so YOU KNOW what to do!!

O Cyclone Student of the Month December '07 - January '08
Details HERE
Because here we also learn... slackering at least

N A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks! (December '07)
Details HERE
Then again, do you see all those proud highscore owners? I want them all defeated within the month! Do you see that cretin you have as CMDR feeling so good with all those wreckages at his chest? Finish him!!! Plenty of Bronze Wings upon you!

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Challenge Top Gun #3 (This one was from past months but a new edition will be submitted shortly I think. Stay tunned.)
Details HERE
A whole month to fly 2 FREE missions hunting highscores... the best excuses for not flying them will be awarded a rabid Ewok fencing a pitchfork!!
This month's sorties are:
waiting for COL Angel to tell us on his next Wing Report

L Wing X Pilot of the Week #2 (Same as above. Waiting for this month's edition.)
Details HERE
And here we have again the classic Wing X PotW/PotM!! But behold! This time it's a strictly flying one and the Iron Stars come with wings and not ribbons. FLY!! Fly as hell and don't even think why are you doing so and you may get IS-SWs/IS-BWs, a broken joystick and a brand new mental disorder. 3 for the prize of 1!! :D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L Ace of the TIE Corps - December 2007
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself?

L SECO Banner competition
Details HERE
Now it's Vice Admiral Apophis Kuma, our new SO, who wants a banner for his office. IS-SW and IS-BW... for making a banner?!! And no goldies in a TC-wide comp.?!!! Well, I'll just include it here as usual but be ready to see those basis modified or something. :-P

L MP Ace of the TIE Corps - December 2007
Details HERE
MP division of the monthly Ace competition above. KILL everybody and feel proud for it!!
IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

L Build that mission!
Details HERE
Admiral Dempsey is still looking for a capable guy to hit the 100% in TM/3. Go and teach her what you're capable of!

L TAC's Best (december 2007)
Details HERE
Great!! Lovely!! Not only the highscore-hunters around will see their FCHG increased while destroying your hopes slowly but they'll also earn IS-GWs and IS-SWs for it! Your only hope? To be ONE OF THOSE damned highscore-hunters!

H Sunday's Vaping Rhapsody (Multiplayer!!)
My own hosted MP competition! Played on #ehcoo every Sunday from 12:30 EST to 15:30 EST. Either XvT, XWA, FW or IA matches and DFCs available for those skillful enough to get one!

G TIE Corps Capital Brawl (Multiplayer!!)
Hosted by the COO, Vice Admiral Stryker, every Wednesday on #ehcoo from 14:00 EST to 19:00 EST. Exclusive FW Multiplayer competition involving capital ships matches. DFCs up for grabs and bribes.

F TIE Corps Training (Multiplayer!!)
Exactly the same as my own competition but hosted also by Vice Admiral Stryker it happens every Saturday on #ehcoo from 13:00 EST to 16:00 EST.

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles   

  • Awarded IS-GW
  • Awarded IS-SW
  • Awarded 14!!! IS-BWs ( Now I have ammo for my CMDR Slingshot®! )
  • Awarded MoC-BoC
  • Awarded 35 LoCs
  • Awarded DFC


2-1 LCM Vertigo    

  • Awarded 2 IS-BWs


3-2 LT Katherine Cantor Flyer    

  • Awarded IS-BR


III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles   

  • Completed TIE FREE-154,185 & 256 for "TIE Golf".
  • Awarded 27 LoCs in "Raise the Flag" Multiplayer division.
  • Awarded MoC-BoC for communications activity on October.
  • Submitted TCS beta report.
  • Awarded 9!! IS-BWs for scoring below par in TIE Golf (Holes 1-9).
  • Awarded 4 IS-BWs for 2nd place in TIE Golf lowest score on a hole (Holes 1,4,7 & 9).
  • Awarded IS-BW for TIE Golf scoring below par in 8 holes.
  • Compiled last delayed WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone website.
  • Awarded IS-SW for TIE Golf hole winner (Hole 5).
  • Awarded 8 LoCs in XvT WoW CXII.
  • Awarded DFC for EH best player XvT WoW CXII.
  • Updated all stuff relevant to the change of hosting "isdchallenge.NET" --> "isdchallenge.ORG" including existing reports within the database and whatnot.
  • Completed TIE-TC 233 (AGAIN) (4 missions) (Highscores in missions 2 & 4 and battle highscore!).
  • Completed XvT-TC 121 (AGAIN) (4 missions) (Highscores in ALL missions and battle highscore!).
  • Completed BoP-TC 20 (AGAIN) (5 missions) (Highscores in ALL missions and battle highscore!).
  • Completed XWA-TC 53 (AGAIN) (6 missions) (Highscores in ALL missions and battle highscore!).
  • Helped LC Tempest to set up his Multiplayer stuff! (NO, I'M NOT DRUNK!! At least no more than usual... But it's true! True I tell you!!!).
  • Updated [MP/2] IWATS Course with some details about router port forwarding.
  • Graded [MP/2] IWATS.
  • Completed TIE-TC 23,26,29,32,35,39,45,49,50,52,54,59,60,62,69,70,73,74,75,78,81,82,85 & 87 (AGAIN) (122 missions!).
  • Submitted new editions of 2 monthly Squadron competitions for approval plus another edition of our HS-hunting one and awarded shinies for November editions.
  • Awarded IS-GW for 1st place in November "TAC's best" competition.
  • Helped the Fleet Commander to fix some Kill Board issues and award pending "Aces medals".
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone website.

1-2 LT Cochala        x 4

  • No contact since... since... I can't remember... soon, Lieutenant, very soon...

1-3 LT Lvpps        x 4

  • Exactly the same as LT Cochala up there... ¬_¬

1-4 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade       

  • Setting up his MP config and trying to fix some issue with his host.
  • Fair good communication through #tiecorps and #wing_x

2-1 LCM Vertigo      

  • Tries to keep in touch with his Flight Members.
  • Awarded IS-BW for Cyclone Pilot of the Week.
  • Completed XvT-DB 7 (5 missions) (Highscores in missions 1 & 4 and battle highscore!).
  • Completed XvT-DB 11 (7 missions) (Highscores in missions 1 & 7!).
  • Completed XvT-DB 12 (8 missions) (Highscore in mission 1!).
  • Completed XvT-DB 13 (6 missions) (Highscores in mission 2!).
  • Completed BoP-TC 20 (5 missions) (Highscores in mission 3!).
  • Completed XWA-TC 53 (6 missions) (Highscores in missions 1 & 5 and battle highscore!).
  • Completed XvT-IW 1-8 (42 missions).
  • Sent Flight Leader report.
  • Awarded IS-BW for Cyclone Pilot of the Month - November '07!
  • Passed [MCBS] IWATS Course - 96%
  • Splendid communication by e-mail as usual and also some IRC activity in #wing_x.

2-2 LCM Verde       

  • 11/26/2007 - Completed TIE-TC 20,79 & 233 (16 missions).
  • 11/30/2007 - Completed TIE-TC 104 (5 missions).
  • 11/30/2007 - Completed TIE-FREE 230.
  • 11/30/2007 - Completed XWA-FREE 2.
  • Excellent e-mail communications as usual but, LCM, please don't forget your FM report for your FL next time ;-P

2-3 LT Brian Klem       

  • No news from him last week. But the same as LCM Verde goes for you, Lieutenant: don't forget your FM report for your FL, even if it's to tell him you couldn't do anything or something like "I'm alive!!".

2-4 LT Akur       

  • Answers his FL request reporting his PC finally went to hell and he's now trying to get a new one ASAP.
  • Uploaded a new uniform into the database.
  • He always answers e-mails but it seems that he'll need some time to return to action.

3-1 COL Maverick       

  • Helps the Wing, the ship, the Fleet and the bloody Universe to get rid of Mirei/Cotan once again.
  • Sent delayed Flight Leader report.
  • Sent Flight Leader report.
  • Excellent e-mail communications and nice IRC presence, as usual.

2-3 LT Katherine Cantor Flyer        (This one comes because she achieved some HSs in her flying. Sadly my own files were processed later and... :-\)

  • Completed TIE-TC 233 (4 missions).
  • Completed XWA-TC 53 (6 missions).
  • Completed BoP-TC 20 (5 missions).
  • Completed XvT-TC 121 (4 missions).
  • Awarded IS-BR for Cyclone Student of the Month - November '07!
  • It seems she went on a mini-LoA and hence her lack of communications for the rest of the week.

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. For Flight Leaders: I want your weekly reports on Fridays if possible. It's not mandatory but... it's better to not take risks...


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


Some people think that Cyclone Squadron is actually a good Squadron filled with very active and motivated officers and that only its CMDR deserves to be tossed through the nearest airlock attached to some heavy rocket due to his legendary insanity and annoying habits, always punishing this our mighty Fleet as much as possible. BUT!! Now that "Raise the Flag 2007" is over, the glorious ISD Challenge is again the TIE Corps Flagship and Cyclone itself is the overall winner Squadron in the competition thus the next "TCCOM's Own" Squadron (glory glory in excelsis vacuum), we will be able to contemplate just one classic day of standard activity within "The Demolition Crew"... Judge by yourselves if The Wicked Cyclone CMDR is the *only* problem there. You thought so? Think twice!!

So here we are at Colonel Maverick's, Cyclone Flight III Leader, office (then again the CMDR's "Flying Office" proved to be but very life-unfriendly for interviews) where Major Zósite is trying to sort out a bloody waterfall of official transmissions from both the Flight Office and the Tactical Office due to RtF deadline. When he started (about 7 hours ago) he had some biscuits available there as well as some coffee and Sif's tobacco. Right now he's biting his rank panel, drinking bleach that some cleaning crew left around and trying to smoke his code cylinder. Something also tells him he should have stopped playing "Max Rebo's Best Hits" some hours ago, when they started sounding to be exact. But there's Colonel Maverick who has just arrived carrying a pile of reports.

<COL Mav> Hi there, Zós! Here you are my Flight Leader report from last week.

<MAJ Zós> Nice, Colonel... but what about all the stuff you have there? Complaint-forms for your mother-in-law? :P

<COL Mav> Better!! These are full dossiers by my own hand on some problematic pilots within the Fleet. You see... I was bored and decided to put my Inquisitor (INQ) skills to work, and after all this I honestly think I got rid of my rustiness. I brought them so you can do some review before sending them to Vice Admiral Kuma. ^_^

<MAJ Zós> No way... AD Bonini to be tried for pushing Imperial officers into going against each other on internal competitions? VA Stryker for allowing destruction of Imperial property in MP matches? Hell!! GA Astatine for not using his IDline in last EH meeting?!!! o_____oU

<COL Mav> I'll leave them right here. Don't forget to tell me when they're ready, Major.

<MAJ Zós> ...kill me...

As Colonel Maverick abandons the room there's Lieutenant Katherine waiting to pass in. She approaches the desk, her eyes fixed on her datapad. After one full minute in silence with Cyclone CMDR looking at her trying to figure out is she noticed his presence at all he decides to speak:

<MAJ Zós> Errr... you there, Kate? Your Flight Leader has just left here his...

<LT Kate> Chssssst!! Almost there!!! E.T.A.: 13 seconds.

<MAJ Zós> ... |:-$ ...

<LT Kate> Completed! Here you are my recent accomplishments for you to better track my activity, Major: I flew up to 100 missions on my own, pilot records already uploaded to your computer, won 10 MP matches against very skilled opponents from other ships, performed splendid at the IWATS Academy with some tests passed with perfect score for you to review, motivated Cyclone crew for them to increase their activity, managed by the book the new mailing list, submitted 20 pieces of the finest artwork for the Flight Officer to review as well as 50 fiction novels, updated ISD Challenge hyperjump coordinates, developed 15 brand new booze recipes for your Destillery, whipped up about 50 of your blasted lazy Ewoks for they to work faster, bought myself some fancy new boots, changed RA Darklord finest scotchs for cheap tomato juice, destroyed 2 cameras trying to get a picture of COL Angel and his klatoonian face for the Wing, repaired "The Falcon's hyperdrive system™" (don't ask), helped the Dimok and the Ripoblus to sign peace yet again and renewed mouse droids within the ship their batteries. AyeAye, Major!

<MAJ Zós> D-did you try to take over the Yuuzhan Vong Empire on your own? >:____D

<LT Kate> Now that you mention it...

<MAJ Zós> Begone, Lieutenant! Don't ever come here again with your duties not fully accomplished! (:_____|

And right when Major Zósite starts thinking he's free again to finish eating his rank panel while completing some COOA report for the Logistics Officer... or was it for Grand Moff Farrin? Director of Operations? Mon Mothma? X__x Anyway, there're Lieutenant Commanders Vertigo and Verde as well as Lieutenant Klem waiting for his CMDR to hear whatever hell they have to report.

<MAJ Zós (muttering)> Intensify the forward batteries; I don't want anything to get through...

<LCM Vertigo> Salute, Sir! Here I am to report you my Flight performance from last week. By the way, I brought my Flight too just in case they have something to add you see... except LT Akur; he said he would come later to ask you about some issue he had personally.

<MAJ Zós> Amaze me... -__-U

<LCM Vertigo> We flew up to 500 missions!! True story!!! Those punk idiots from the New Republic just cannot stand against our über-Imperial flying-hax! We're the best by far since we're loyal Imperial Officers, something to be really proud of! We have a name to praise, a banner to serve, an ideal to follow! Three Bags Full, Major, Sir! And may the Fleet Commander himself be witness of what I say that we...

<LT Klem> We're not well...

<MAJ Zós> Ok, Ok, I get the picture... so?

<LCM Vertigo> LCM Verde, please, debrief our recent accomplishments in detail. ^_^

<LCM Verde> Of course, Sir. Our casualties were 0, of course. I've here glossed our kills to be 7500 A-Wings, 9000 X-Wings, 4500 B-Wings, 8000 Y-Wings, 3000 T-Wings, 2750 R-41 Starchasers, 15000 Z-95 Headhunters, 200 Heavy Calamari Cruisers, 170 Light-Calamari Cruisers, 625 Nebulon-B Frigates, 1300 Corellian Corvettes...

<LT Klem> This must be just the fruit of our mind conditions and...

<MAJ Zós> Stop it!! PLEASE STOP IT!!! Your merits will be rewarded! You'll get... IS-BWs! And ISMs! And DFCs!! Hang me if I know why but you'll get DFCs too!! Now please either go outta here or shoot me!

<LCM Vertigo> Brian!! Keep your reglamentary blaster where it is you psychopath! :-P Thank you, Sir. See you later for further reports from "The Wind of Change". ^_^u

But when the rest of Cyclone Flight II are going to depart Lieutenant Akur arrives to the office with a mad gaze and an odd net cable up to one of his ears. Then he stops in the middle of the office and starts muttering some strange lithany.

<MAJ Zós (muttering too)> Close the blast doors...

<LT Akur> BIOS version EH release 15. Press F2 to enter BIOS. Checking memory. Checking HDs. All tests passed. Loading main system. . . Loading WIN.INI. . . Loading SYSTEM.INI. . . Loading main Akur configuration. . .

<MAJ Zós> ...

<LT Akur> Execute: CMD <ENTER>. . . Greetings, Sir! Here I am to report you my recent activity <ENTER>

<MAJ Zós> ...

<LT Akur> As you may already know I've been experiencing some problems with my system hence my lack of flying activity last month. Please accept my apologies; I'll try to fix it as soon as possible and you'll have me performing again next month <ENTER>

<MAJ Zós> A-And what were exactly your p-problems, Lieutenant?... :-L

<LT Akur> "A-And what were exactly your p-problems, Lieutenant?... :_1" wasn't recognized as an external or internal command, program or executable file. C:\Akur>_

<MAJ Zós> What the...? (:__D

<LT Akur> "What the...": incomplete command. The system couldn't find the specified file. C:\Akur>_

<MAJ Zós> Oh, come on...

<LT Akur> Syntax Error. Syntax Error. Syntax Error. Syntax Error. Syntax Error. Accept? Ommit? Cancel?

<MAJ Zós> Go and format yourself you!!! ~>:_G

Lieutenant Akur leaves the room producing curious sounds like some power supply being fried. Major Zósite has already finished eating his rank panel, drinking all the bleach and smoking his code cylinder. Now he even improves his NUTSness and starts eating his keyboard and banging his head into the monitor. But then something happens! Behold! Captain Bjorn Wolfblade, Cyclone 1-4, has just entered the room and runs towards the desk, jumps over it and grabs his CMDR's neck while shouting like crazy, completely out of his mind!

<CPT Wolfblade> YOOOOOUUU!!! Now you'll get your medicine!!! Where are MY LoCs (Sir)?!! Give me MY LoCs (Sir)!!! I need MY DFCs too (Sir)!!! And you dead!!! I want you to die by my hand! I couldn't host last time but please let me finish here what I left pending on your host!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! >.-D


And now what was that about Cyclone Squadron working the way it should be without its CMDR again? :-P

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)


Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Top Ace 1st (400 points)

[5035] & [493] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

No rank (0 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[4] & [3] LT Cochala

No rank (0 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[2] & [2] LT Lvpps

Grenadier (10 points) & Marksman 4th (10 points)

[24] & [11] CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

Tesserarius [TSRS] (1000 points) & No rank (0 points)

[1114] & [0] LCM Vertigo

Gallant [GALL] (200 points) & No rank (0 points)

[214] & [0] LCM Verde

Lancer [LANC] (25 points) & No rank (0 points)

[49] & [0] LT Brian Klem

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Akur

Legionnaire [LGNR] (400 points) & Certified (5 points)

[425] & [6] COL Maverick

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[124] & [2] LT Katherine Cantor Flyer

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Cochala
3) LT Lvpps
4) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Cochala
3) LT Lvpps
4) CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Vertigo
2) LCM Verde
3) LT Brian Klem
4) LT Akur

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) COL Maverick
2) LT Katherine Cantor Flyer
3) TBA
4) TBA

Squadron Citations (4):

   TIE-TC Battle 1 - Capture of Zaarin
   TIE-TC Battle 2 - Strike at Calamari
   TIE-TC Battle 3 - New Dimensions
   XWA-TC Battle 2 - First Contact

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-65BW-27BR-24SW-10SR-23GW-5GR/LoC-RSx2-CSx5-Rx3/DFC-SW-Rx3/MoC-11BoC-2SoC-1GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoB/OV [GLDR]

Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."