D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #27 C

October 12, MMVIII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore Angel and last but not least Flight Officer Jarek La'an >


Welcome to this, my twenty-seventh Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". And here we go again with yet another of those sloooooooow weeks, expecting for events. No new major competitions, because the Flight Office has ordered us to avoid making one of those nowadays, with "Raise the Flag 2008" almost there and the current troubles for processing our pilot files until a new BSF system is ready. BUT! That doesn't mean you can't actually fly missions/battles; check below the "Squadron Status" section and you'll see...

But we're still here! We can still do things! Look at me, I'm doing things; providing madness right now! And that's what I'm expecting from all of you. Noooo, not to provide madness; we want the morale to improve and not the number of people throwing themselves into an airlock to increase. :-P I mean: I want you to keep communicative and having fun the best way you find. The Wing X mailing list as well as the Message Boards shall be your oyster: write us, send us stuff, speak nonsense, blackmail your uppers... DO SOMETHING! And while you're at it don't forget that we've an AWOL check here and you must respond ASAP or else.

And if you miss the competition behaviours don't worry. "Raise the Flag" will come soon and all you will be begging for a RL-extension in order to have time to do all you will want to do for the sakes of those shinies and... I mean: for your Squadron and your Ship. You'll want to do stuff for your Squadron and your Ship. Ejem... :-J

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V The AWOL check I announced last week is on-going!! Behold, my minions! Those of you not responding before deadline (October 24th) will find their butts NOT onboard the M/FRG Phoenix as Reservists, but kicked into inactive oblivion. Not deleted from our records though; thanks Palpatine nobody ever had, have or will ever have the rights of annihilating someone completely from the EH membership list (just try to picture such fearful power falling in some psycho's hands... such as mine. ejem. >.-J). But after being AWOLed only the nastiest and pitifulest pleas to the Flight Officer himself will make the miracle of having you back at our Rosters. After being AWOLed and until further notice you're... (*ominous drumroll*)


     ... Spooky... O__0

V Ummm... nothing to do with The TIE Corps but... it seems the guys in robes made themselves a new site. For all of you not only interested on being a skillful pilot of The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet, a respected and loyal officer of the greatest and mightiest Space Navy ever, The Imperial Navy! For those of you not only interested on being the best flying killing-machine ever but also on wearing fancy robes and use dangerous fluorescent tubes featuring sissy colours in hand-to-hand combat, when it's obvious that any problem you may have should be better dealt with after the loud explosion coming from some well-aimed heavy rocket at more than 250 MGLT... For... "THOSE" of you, THIS WAY: ^_^


V After quite a long time! After too much time, dammit!! Rank promotions beyond the crappy Cadet - Sub-Lieutenant visit Cyclone Squadron again! Maybe our beloved Flight Officer and protegee, Fleet Admiral La'an, thought we would just stop loading the heaviest warhead ordnances for our "TCCOM's Own" escorting missions if he only would toss here a couple of deserved rank badges. No way I tell you!! NO WAY!! We'll keep performing as splendid as usual no matter what damned combination of red-blue ('cos if you're wearing yellow you've already screwed it up :-P) have we pinned on our jackets. >.-D

     But for the time being... let's give the pilot what it belongs to the pilot and Ronin what it belon... naaaah, let's give that to the pilot too... /:->

     Lieutenant Vitaru, Cyclone 2-3!! Step forward! ... great, now please go down from my boots unless you want to eat them afterwards. For the great commitment you have demonstrated towards the Squadron for over 4 months as Flight Member. For your outstanding levels of friendly communication through all sorts of media, always keeping in touch with the rest of us as well as the Wing as a whole. For your proven flying skills, especially at the Multiplayer level where you have become a true asset, perfectly ready to take part in major MP competitions in behalf of us. For all this, the Flight Office approved today your overdue rank promotion and makes you a Lieutenant Commander within The TIE Corps. Our most sincere congratulations, LCM. ^_^

     Lieutenant Kael Dalor, Cyclone 3-3!! Step forward! ... splendid, as soon as you get out of that beer barrel clean your ears from booze and listen up carefully. Your excellent performance as a member of The TIE Corps comes from looong ago; more than 5 years ago you ALREADY did enough for your next rank promotion to be granted, but for some reason beyond us you weren't granted what you deserved back in that time. Your Historic Record is the best proof for this we consider a fact. But nowadays, 5 years after that, you joined the ranks of "The Demolition Crew" and you did excellent as well! For all the missions you flew, way beyond what we're used to see these days (despite they're still waiting to be BSFed). For all your FM reports, which were detailed and just in time. For your great levels of communication, if not with the whole Wing definitely with your CMDR and Flight Leader. For having decided to keep high your standard of quality and commitment, the Flight Office approved today your loooooooong² overdue rank promotion and makes you a Lieutenant Commander withint The TIE Corps. Our most sincere congratulations and also our overdue apologies for this not having come to you before. :-D

     Sub-Lieutenant Siriah Tan, Cyclone 3-4!! Step... stay where you are, the last thing I'd want would be you falling upon another officer and unchaining all sorts of nasty rumours within the Ship. For the ellegant and top-quality ways you used since you joined Cyclone in order to become one of us in no time. For your outstanding, astonishing actually, levels of communication through all sorts of media, including even a website to keep track of your own progress. For your proven integration within the Fleet, already dealing with the highest ranking officers like the TAC and the SCO when asking them for help in your current tasks of mission/battle building. For all your FM reports, all of them in time not even being necessary for me to keep begging for them. Finally, for having made your way here by the book, even in these difficult times for us all, and already being here having mantained your activity and commitment at the highest level, the Flight Office approved today your promotion to the rank of full Lieutenant within The TIE Corps. Well derserved, Lieutenant. Our most sincere congrats. =)

     And now... did anyone say PARTY? Because if a promotion definitely deserves a party I can't even think what the hell are we going to mount here, people!! :-D What I can tell you here and now is that tomorrow this very deck will fall under "Bio-Hazard Alert"!!! YAAAAAAAAAY!!!

V Just for all of you to know, especially those of you interested in Multiplayer behaviours (and I know you're there ;-)): this crazy weekly nightmare of yours (we'll call it CMDR) brings you some COOA (Combat Operations Officer Assistant) information!! There's a new official EH-sanctioned MP event where you can participate now apart from "24/7 LoCs" and the Weeks of War. "Inter-Club Training Event (ICTE)" is its name and it's hosted by The Dark Jedi Brotherhood (DJB) on #outerrim Undernet channel each and every Saturday. It lasts for 24 hours and you can play there as much as you can! :-D Remember to ALWAYS keep backups of your screenies as usual, but it shouldn't be necessary to send them to the COO yet. The COO himself (if he's still alive... ¬¬) or maybe one of his COOAs on his behalf shall go to the event records page and take note of the final results in order to award whatever is needed to be awarded. Don't worry, sooner or later you'll get the credit you deserve for ALL your played MP matches. It's a promise!! ;-)

     For further details check here: http://icte.darkjedibrotherhood.com/news.php

V ... Ummm... errr... hrrrm... pfffff... BURARUM (<--- Treebeard dixit)

     The thing is that I've been thinking about it while I was writing this report (that could explain a few things about the way it's written... ^_^u) and I've decided to make a little competition only involving Cyclone Squadron for all of you to participate. Not only because I want all of you to actually being doing something but also because in all my time as CMDR I never made a non-flying competition AFAIK and I want to fix that! So, my minions, open your ears, close your minds and listen up:

     This will be a fiction/graphics competition. All of you must send me a fiction (at least 2 pages long and if someone even tries to cheat me with the spacing or any other crap I make him to eat it I tell you), a graphic (at some reasonable resolution and with a minimum of quality; nothing like THIS, thank you) or both involving recent events affecting the Ship and coming from the overall havoc we had last month. Oh, btw... I want something FUNNY!! I don't mind about your english level (because it MUST be in english; my apologies, LCMs Ark and Vitaru ;-P) nor your accuracy when trying to match exact facts there, but if I haven't "LoLed" at least once when finished with them you're over. I want all submissions in my inbox with October 29th morning as deadline. IS-BR for best entry in fiction! IS-BR for best entry in graphics! The possibility of getting yourselves 2 IS-BRs if you're good enough! Laser shot up the eye of the first one trying to send me a BMP not converted to either JPG, GIF or PNG! Could you ask for more? ^_^

     Oh, btw, the name of this one will be "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE!" and despite it hasn't been approved yet by the Training Officer, you can play safe for this one because if Admiral Kerrigan denies me something like this I can definitely say I've seen whatever it was to be seen around. :-P


( Spoilers... hehehehe... this time they won't come from me but from LCM Ark-illos and his performance when scavenging for facts. Here you are:

"<LCM Ark-illos> Holy Crap! I found our lovely MAJ...err...CMDR NUTs preparing some drinks for the Chalquilla Cantina....And he dares to say his drinks are always “first class”..."

Why I was wearing a Batman disguise with a helmet is beyond me...)

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R I was tempted to look for some archaic aramaic dictionary in order to state here again using it that I'm still waiting for some of you to actually manifest some signs proving that you're still alive and not lost in Hellraiser's dimension of pain or something. And since we're already reaching some sort of "critical level" on this subject, we're now at the point of providing names and asking for stuff. My apologies.

     Lieutenants Dalon Holtz and Reginald Q. Dork as well as Sub-Lieutenant Psyntience: to be honest, I have no hope of ever recieving a single word from you. But I won't surrender yet. PLEASE, show me that I'm WRONG!!! At least answer the AWOL check. Something!!!

     Lieutenant H'Dey Omen and Lieutenant Commander Kael Dalor: gentlemen, your performance was absolutely amazing last September. What's going on with you? You didn't even answered the AWOL check yet or if you did it, you forgot to CC me the e-mail. Sincerely, I don't want to see you kicked out. I want you both here, doing your best for your Squadron, helping me to do the best for this great Ship!! Can I still count on you? =)

R As some of you already know, I'm currently sending hand-made "unofficial" warrants for rank promotions and position appointments for Cyclone pilots and also for anybody else asking for them. Without a working database you won't recieve the official e-mails it used send us in these circumstances, so I thought it would be a nice idea to provide you something for you to be able to look at it and realize how über-l33t you actually are, apart from the classic uniforms (nowadays waiting to be uploaded somewhere, poor things... (*sniff*)). So... if ANYBODY here wants me to make for him/her one of those for his/her current position and/or rank you just need to tell me about, and in case of rank promotion provide me the reccomendation text in full, with words from your CMDR and WC. You know... "Due to the insane amount of idiocy this pilot has demonstrated during his ToD as Cyclone member we cannot do anything but to promote him and blah blah blah...". Nothing alike necessary for position appointments though.

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to Grand Admiral Ronin, EH Founder and Director of Operations, with the subject: "Sir, if EH is now a company... can I start with the Hostile OPA Takeover Bids already?"

Q Ok, now you won't tell me you don't have stuff to do here while waiting for "Raise the Flag" next month! You can fly our missions/battles using the "Temporary Compendium" and later send me the files... you can fly for "Match the TAC #10" and send the file directly to FA Dempsey... Omen!! You can still fly for "TIE Golf"! Remember you are still signed up there! :-P... you can write fictions... you can make graphics... you can punish everybody with your filthy and undesiderable presence on our Message Boards, Wing mailing list and IRC channels... you can make websites about your TC characters... you can now work on your INPRs AT LAST in order to submit them as soon as the database is ready... Sincerely, lady and gentlemen, my opinion is that you have plenty of things to do here and have fun while doing them; and this considering these are being from our lowest activity moments, not only on Cyclone and Wing X but in all the Fleet. So please, imagine, JUST IMAGINE!!, all you'll be able to do here if you only keep yourselves active and motivated enough while we sort out our current issues. ;-)


II.a) Squadron Competitions

( Without the database don't expect ALL those "Details links" to work... but worth a try :-\ )

P Storm Challenge (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED until I recieve CPT Crsepe's word about it.)
Details HERE
Thunder Squadron asked for mayhem... Acknowleged! Fly the missions! Get the HSs if you can! Write reports on how l33t were you while doing it! And show 'em that whenever somebody asks we about something we tend to add "...and kills us btw" to that something.

P Let there be FUN from TROUBLE
Details ABOVE at the "News Section"!
The entire Fleet is suffering one of its worst moments and the only things you can think about are writing bollocks and "Photoshoping" nonsenses while having fun from people's trouble, let alone collecting shinies for it. And your CMDR says: WHY NOT? ^_^

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Wing X Pilot of the Week (There's no reason for it to remain suspended but I'm not sure. Just fly as much as you can! ;-))
Details HERE
As usual, gents! Our almighty WC, Colonel Domi, will award a bronze shinie in a weekly basis and a silver one per month to whoever demonstrates he's perfectly capable of making the rest of us looking as worse as possible. Fly missions, take IWATS, participate in other comps, drink... and well... drink. Everything counts! Especially to drink. :-D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L SP/MP Ace of the TIE Corps - September 2008 (Not sure about the MP division but SP definitely works)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself? And also a
MP division! KILL everybody and feel proud for it!! IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

L Training Office Recruiting Challenge (Technically available)
Details HERE
An IS-PR... I'm pretty sure many of you think that platinum stuff awardings are just legends and those who actually show such things on their dress uniforms have to pay a monthly fee to the FC himself for him to allow them to lie everybody on how they managed to compite for them. Ok, whatever you say, but whoever first manages to recruit 5! new members for this great club before deadline is in great danger of being awarded one of those. ;-)

L TIE Golf 2008 (Signing up OVER)
Details HERE
Did you think the best way to play a mission was to score as much as possible. Think twice!! What? You think it to be silly? Ok, ok... then I'll just give back to FA Dempsey this IS-PW!! I rented it in order to show you what will be the maximum award... EJEM...

L TAC's Best (October 2008) (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED)
Details HERE
he good thing about this one is that you don't need to actually do anything; just fly the best you can and if you manage to get some HSs you'll be in the good way for winning here! ;-D

L Match the TAC #10
Details HERE
Check out the link above and you'll see. The objective? Easy... try to match TAC's score in that mission! And remember! For this one don't send your pilot files to your CMDR as usual; they must be sent directly to FA Dempsey and they'll be BSFd at the end of the month. If you fail in such an easy requirement Lady Dempsey will come to you by night with a vengeance and... no, wait, screw that!! *I*'ll come to you by night with a vengeance. >:F

L TACcy Quotes
Details HERE
For this one you'll need to read each and every weekly TAC report and... Mmmm? Stop trying to hang yourselves dammit!! What's the problem?! You are right now reading this, right? Then you'll be able to read ANYTHING so shut the hell up you!! >:( Well, as I was telling you, read those reports, find the movie quote lying there and e-mail FA Dempsey as quickly as you can with your answer!

H 24/7 LoC weekly challenge (Multiplayer!!) (Keep sending your screenies to the COO but don't delete them 'till you get your LoCs just in case)
Details HERE
Never get yourself a DFC was more easy!! Forget all you may have learnt before! Now DFCs are actually awarded for "24/7LoCs" events using the same guidelines as for their classic awardings on hosted events. Kill 3 different people, rank the best player and blahblahblah... Your best bet I tell you! Quick, before someone actually realizes DFCs awarded this way are just too cheap to be truth. :-P

H DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) (Keep your screenies, people!)
Details HERE
Let's see... What would be the best way of dealing with our "new" Dark Jedi Brotherhood (DJB, former rDB) friends in order to show 'em our willing to cicatrize old injuries between our clubs? What about sending them all to hell via MP while punishing their prides by the book? >;-D

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


2-3 LCM Vitaru    

  • Promotion!! Lieutenant (LT) ---> Lieutenant Commander (LCM)


3-3 LCM Kael Dalor    

  • Promotion!! Lieutenant (LT) ---> Lieutenant Commander (LCM)


3-4 LT Siriah Tan    

  • Promotion!! Sub-Lieutenant (SL) ---> Lieutenant (LT)


III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles    

  • Made new versions of my hand-made warrants using the WC3 validator.
  • Final version and it seems it works. At last!!! :D
  • Signed EH into "10 year celebration XvT" BSC event.
  • Reflown TIE-FREE 108 for TIE Golf 2008.
  • Reflown TIE-FREE 232 for TIE Golf 2008.
  • Made a promotion warrant for LT Dunta Polo.
  • Finished last TCS assignment.
  • Tried YET ANOTHER release of NVIDIA drivers... No, STILL no luck. Bastards...
  • Participated in EH Trivia today... 0 points. Dammit! >.<
  • Cyclone "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" competition approved today!
  • Signed EH into XvT Week of War CXXIII!
  • Hand-made promotion warrant for LC Elwood the Brave.
  • Send in my try for "TACcy Quotes" on TAC report #283.
  • Removed that moron xgmx from EH BSC Rosters.
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone Site.

1-2 LT Dalon Holtz        x MORE

  • Now I'm not expecting anything from you anymore, but you're expecting an AWOL. Trust me... >:_F

1-3 LT Reginald Q. Dork        x MORE

  • The only thing you did here in all this time was to mimic LT Holtz's "performance" you see... well, mimic now his expectatives over there...

1-4 COL Obi-Wan       

  • No word from him this week although I would swear having seen him briefly on IRC... :-P

2-1 LCM Ark-illos        <--- If this would come from EH-wide activity this guy would be much more happy! :-P

  • And another try in "Match the TAC #10"
  • And yet another try in "Match the TAC #10" GO, Lt. Commander!!! ;D
  • Excellent activity for The Dark Brotherhood, but sadly I cannot use it here. :\
  • Sent Flight weekly report just in time! New version but then again, outstanding quality!!
  • Provided us some nice Star Wars icons through ISD Challenge MBs.
  • Excellent MBs activity today.
  • Nice e-mail activity on almost a daily basis! And this week his activity at the MBs has improved about 500%!! :-D

2-3 LCM Vitaru       

  • Another try at "Match the TAC #10".
  • Changed TC e-mail address to vitaru.a.eh@gmail.com
  • And another try at "Match the TAC #10"... Flight II scares me... 0__o
  • Submitted FM report in time.
  • Nice MBs activity today.
  • Excellent e-mail activity, as usual!! And keeps his MBs activity at the highest standards, with help from his "monkey" ;-D

2-4 SL Psyntience        x The number of gods in the Hinduism religion...

  • Knock-knock!! You open the cockpit and there's only a flying tumbleweed. What's the name of the pilot? Hell! But if the tumbleweed already flew more than you did! >:_D

3-2 LT H'Dey Omen        x 100

  • H'Dey, man... you're almost facing a nasty AWOL... Don't you think it's time already to end this joke? :__|

3-3 LCM Kael Dalor        x 100

  • LCM Dalor, 2 details for ya! Good one: I've already resent all your September pilot files and they'll be processed immediately by the TAC herself. Bad one: you have an AWOL chasing you right now...

3-4 LT Siriah Tan       

  • Tasked by AD Stryfe to find out who is in charge of EH plot continuity and decisions.
  • Participated in FA Dempsey's "Guess the picture" MBs competition.
  • Nice and long conversation through IRC regarding the possibility of setting up of a little database only to manage Cyclone material.
  • Submitted FM report and updated her activity report website.
  • Good e-mail contact, not to mention her classic amazing IRC activity on a daily basis! ;-)

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. Contact your Flight Leader or Squadron Commander at least once a week!! This is BUT VERY important in order to mantain your arse within the roster. CMDR may well have the nasty mania of kicking mute people out of the airlock...
  7. Be always loyal to the TIE Corps Fleet, then the ISD Challenge and Wing X, then Cyclone.
  8. Kill any rebel scumb, dirty smuggler or pathetic pirate on sight and with a smile on your face. Cleaning 'da house!
  9. Have fun doing all this stated above! Now this one is a f****** order; if you don't accomplish with this one you're really doing nothing. Go away and make something better with your life like having a pathetic RL job, trying for your wife to not cheat you with a REAL PILOT... ahem...
  10. It would be sooo simetric and perfect for you to have a 10th order... but you haven't. :-P


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


Cyclone Squadron Quarters at the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge, Flagship of The TIE Corps. No matter what people might think on the subject, the fact is that sometimes (like about once in a decade) all pilots from "The Demolition Crew" gather in front of their briefing panel in order for their CMDR to explain them some particular mission in detail. To date, several missions of critical importance not only for Cyclone or The 'Chal' but for the Fleet as a whole have been meticulously dissected, including classics as "Steal the FO's stash", "Pin the tail on the Fleet Commander" or "The Falafel Wars: Chickpea fuel for the TIEs!".

Today, current members of "The Demolition Crew" are carefully listening the words of Major Zósite Kónstyte Styles, their current CMDR. MAJ NUTS (ever) decided all of a sudden to start doing these things by the book in order for the new Flight Officer, Fleet Admiral Jarek La'an, to not notice that the last time Cyclone Squadron had something like a briefing was when CPT Vertigo, former CMDR, tried to explain them the complex engineering applied in the building of a barbecue (and they say the great fire at deck 26 is not completely extinguished yet).

<MAJ Zós> And this moving triangle over here must be the 'Chal', which according to what I learnt from that manual is related to one of those white things you can see at your rear sensors when launching from the hangar bay... Now the objective of this mission is to -delete- first these curious little crosses here, known as "B-Wings" from now on, and that appear to be nothing more than simple wishbones. Ark and his psychos will take care of them while Omen, Kael and Siriah use ions to capture the shuttle that...

<LT Vitaru> Errm, sorry Sir, but what if those wishbones decide to turn on Flight III and start attacking them from behind?

<MAJ Zós> Well, Lieutenant, keep evading their lasers would be in order under such circumstances unless they also have missiles because in that case...

<LCM Vitaru> Ehmm, Sir, sorry to stop you but... it's Lieutenant Commander Vitaru now. Colonel Domi decided to follow your own reccomendation and asked for my promotion to the Flight Office 2 days ago, don't you remember?

<MAJ Zós> Ah, yes... Lieutenant Commander, of course. Sorry, Vitaru, I forgot it.

<LCM Vitaru> Yeah... when we used to have our trusty database these things were not so easy to be forgotten. You could always take a look through your PDA in case of doubt and in a matter of seconds known almost everything on any officer, any place... any time... (*sigh*)

<MAJ Zós> ... Well, we all miss our splendid database; that's not a secret. But we can go through without it for the time being, can't we? Of course we can! Our mighty Fleet was here before it and will remain here even if it take centuries for the Internet Office to have the new one ready. And now please fix your attention on the briefing panel.

<LCM Vitaru> Yessir.

<MAJ Zós> Ok, now... Here we have our support in case of necessity. If things turn to hell too way fast for us to capture that shuttle in time we'll be able to call in Typhoon Squadron to help us in dealing with its escorts. Major Woody will have their crafts ready to launch if we...

<LCM Ark-illos> Master.

<MAJ Zós> Did you say something, Ark?

<LCM Ark-illos> Master. Current 'Phoon CMDR is Colonel Master after Major Elwood stepped down from command.

<MAJ Zós> Yeah, Colonel Master of course. ~¬¬ You see... it's difficult to keep always tracking these position appointments.

<LCM Ark-illos> No worries. Perfectly understandable, Major. Only a month ago, with our splendid database still there, a couple of clicks in any nearby terminal would have provided all necessary info on last promotions and transfers, let alone new appointments in command within the Wing. But now...

<MAJ Zós> Oh, well, we always have those things Colonel Domi uses to punish us with on a weekly basis. Wing X reports they call them, and they shall be enough for us to be well updated on these things as long as we decide to read them every now and then. Yes, I know we were used to set them on fire on sight, but nowadays they'll be our best source of news regarding last Wing X structure. So I hope all of you will take some time to check them out.

<LCM Ark-illos> Will do, Sir... ahhh, but I miss the clean and excellent built of our database coding... (*sigh*)

<MAJ Zós> ... hmpffff... ).-F Ok, let's finish up with this one. Finally we still have here their capital ship where the shuttle will surely launch from when the shields are down. All a bloody MC-90 Calamari wreckage called "May of '68" full of high-ranking moisture farmers, or at least that's what Intel says. They want them dead. RA Angel wants them dead. COL Domi wants them dead. *WE* want them dead. Everybody happy. So we're going to obliterate that thing as soon as the shuttle has launched and...

<LT Siriah Tan> It doesn't make sense.

<MAJ Zós> W-WHAT?!! ~>.-D

<LT Siriah Tan> I said that it doesn't make sense. If they're New Republic high ranking officers after all they must be much more valuable alive and speaking than dead and silent.

<MAJ Zós> I don't know, Lieutenant, but you see: your Commodore, Wing Commander and Squadron Commander want them dead! Annihilated! Burninated! Levelled to floating lumps of carbon! What the hell do you have to say about that?! >.-O

<LT Siriah Tan> Who knows... That's what YOU say, Major. But without our amazing database to check it and the last Wing X report being from more than 5 day-cycles ago, how can we know you're STILL our Squadron Commander? Maybe you were kicked out from your position hours ago, maybe you were demoted, maybe you just resigned and decided to have some fun from us pretending to still be our CMDR. Everybody knows from your disabled sanity so, then again with all due respect, can you actually prove us that you're still who you're pretending to be without a working database?

<MAJ Zós> ...

The rest of Cyclone Squadron nods at LT Tan and looks to the Major, expecting from him to finally drive away their doubts in order to carry on with their duties. But MAJ Zósite doesn't pay attention to them anymore; he's now quickly writting on his personal PDA with the blood-featuring eyes of a madman. Suddenly he conects his PDA with the briefing panel itself and speaks.

<MAJ Zós> SO! So you miss our trusty database so damned much, right? And whatever it said you trusted it blindly no matter what, ein? AM I RIGHT?!!!

<Cyclone - Zós> Well... yeees, that's basically what we were trying to...

<MAJ Zós> Acknowledged!! If that's the case you rotting piles of flesh and filthy conspirations, LOOK HERE!! Face the bitter truth and start doing your job NOW or face the consequences of your insolence dammit!!! ~~>:-G

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)

(Not necessary to mention that without a working database these ranks are as updated as the damned FMC website and none of the profile links work... :P)

Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points)

[5652] & [509] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 3rd (40 points)

[121] & [42] LCM Ark-illos

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & No rank (0 points)

[98] & [0] LCM Kael Dalor

Hussar [HUSS] (50 points) & No rank (0 points)

[71] & [0] LT H'Dey Omen

Lancer [LANC] (40 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[47] & [32] LCM Vitaru

Grenadier [GREN] (10 points) & No rank (0 points)

[10] & [0] LT Dalon Holtz

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Reginald Q. Dork

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Psyntience

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Siriah Tan

? (? points) & ? (? points)

[?] & [?] COL Obi-Wan

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You HAD it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Dalon Holtz
3) LT Reginald Q. Dork
4) COL Obi-Wan

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Dalon Holtz
3) LT Reginald Q. Dork
4) COL Obi-Wan

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Ark-illos
2) TBA
3) LCM Vitaru
4) SL Psyntience

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) TBA
2) LT H'Dey Omen
3) LCM Kael Dalor
4) LT Siriah Tan

Squadron Citations (?):

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
GS/SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-74BW-31BR-42SW-13SR-32GW-5GR-3PW/LoC-RSx2-CSx7-Rx4/DFC-SW-Rx4/MoC-13BoC-2SoC-2GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoLx2/CoB/OV [GLDR]

SP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / MP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / Top Gun of RtF 2007 / Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07-Dec07-Aug08 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07-Nov07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA-Nov07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."