D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #28 C

October 19, MMVIII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore Angel and last but not least Flight Officer Jarek La'an >


Welcome to this, my twenty-eighth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Yeah, you'll notice the date above is actually 2 days ago, but that's when I started to write this one and in top of that it was also the birthday of this crazy pile of bollocks and filthy conspirations you call your CMDR so it has to stand. Yeaaaah, everybody grows older, even myself... even after having drunk about 200 gallons of bacta (I thought it was just some sort of soft wheat beer :-P) I cannot help it! But noo, noooo, PLEASE, leave those armed warheads just where you found them; I'm your CMDR, perfectly capable of making myself a party on my own, look:

Zos B'Day!
Feeling like... setting the 'Chal' on fire?

Apart from that little and pointless detail, please accept my most sincere apologies for the delay with this weekly report. My %4¬~@# project bosses decided to keep %4~~@#ing around and cancelled my holyday this week... -__-U. So I was thinking on either making a quick and lame report or a delayed nice one... and in the end it turned to be delayed and lame. Enjoy!! ^_^

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V The AWOL check I've been punishing your ears with since more than 2 weeks ago is almost over. Right now the topic in #tiecorps, written by FA La'an himself, says "AWOL Check concludes in 30 mins!". Well, that means we can start de mandatory waiting of 6 months to see the results xD (just kidding... I hope... :-P) No, really, that means that your time to write COL Domi and tell him that you're still alive is almost over if it's not over already. Just in case: if anybody else suddenly decides to resucitate don't forward your "Noooooo! Leave my body where you found it!" e-mail only to COL Domi but also to FA La'an himself. Better to play for sure in this matter, people. And in a few days those of you who decided to remain among us will help me and the rest of the Wing to defend the Flagship title of the almighty ISD Challenge! Those of you who decided to pay a visit to oblivion never to return will help us to "train" our duty boots in yet another edition of "KMOTR (Kick My Butt Off The Roster)". And later don't tell me I didn't warn you... :-\

V "Wing Commander's Own" competition is over! And the laurels of victory visit Cyclone once again! Now, lady and gentlemen, and until a new edition comes out, we're the pretty girls of the Wing Commander and must escort him whenever necessary. Add there our old tasks of escorting the Flight Officer as "TCCOM's Own" and you'll clearly realize who are "The Nannies of the Fleet®"... Tsk, tsk... with so much escort duty we're going to be in serious need of heavy rockets, people! If this situation continues I'll ask FA La'an to make Cyclone a Missile Boat-only Squadron. :-P

     And now is when I congrat you for all your efforts and commitment to this great Squadron: Members of "The Demolition Crew"! It's all an honour for me to congrat you all today for your effffffff... efffffff... hhmmmpffff... bbbbergggghhh... yeeeeaaaaargh... ... ... X__x

      Sorry, people. In the end I couldn't do it; I thought it would be easier but in the end it wasn't. It seems I can only provide dirty lies when I'm proud of them or something. I hope you'll be able to help me in this matter next time. ;-P Anyways, what I CAN provide you is the cool battle patch (although that's a bloody medal in full; we're going to need some scissors-tool there to make the patch from it :_P) made by Colonel Master which we're now free to use in our uniforms if we want. Up to you, my minions! I decided to not use this one until I have a Cyclone Squadron deserving such recognition. But hey!! No worries. I'll keep the patches for the next time and then I'm SURE we'll deserve to wear them by the book. =)

WC's Own medal by Master WC's Own patch   Uniform & WC's Own patch
WC's Own medal by COL Master, battle patch made from it by myself and my pitiful try to use it under our Squadron patch on an actual uniform. My apologies, but that's as far as I can reach with The Gimp and its "perspective tool". :-P

V NEW BATTLES RELEASED!!! Flying stuff, gents! And just when you think you'll never be able to fly the titanic amount of missions and battles we have at the immortal EH Mission Compendium, Fleet Admiral Dempsey decides to do again those nasty things the TACs are supposed to do (their work...) and improves your sorrow. ^_^ And what a dedicated and skilled pilot could do under such a terrible situation but TO FLY THESE ONES IMMEDIATELY?!!! Just to make your lives easier, here your weekly source of reasons to defect to some Ewok army (aka. CMDR) commands you to fly these as soon as possible and even brings you the links to do so in this very WSR! Could you ask for more? ;-D ...

     YES, dammit!! You could go for the highscores!!! >.-D

XWA-HF 1 : Hammer Fist by FA Anahorn Dempsey
XvT-ID 2 : Praetorian Squadron: Capture the Flag by FA Ender mBind <--- ( Time for pain! )
XvT-FREE 223: Choices by FA Anahorn Dempsey <--- ( They say she does sleep... sometimes... )

V AT LAST!! Since our beloved database went to hell we haven't been able to enjoy all those splendid EH ship patches except for EHSP basic kit; all them were stored at the Science Office website and it was gone as well. But now what you've been expecting for has become real! For all of you in need of all those cool looking, crazy designed, absurdly over-powered and never working when you need them EH custom ships (hehehe, I'm just kidding... or am I? :-J), here you have the "Temporary" SCO Site:


     There you'll find all those patches, several game editors, manuals... silly little browser games created from SCO's pure boredom... aaaaaand, one of the most useful documents ever on EH Fleet structure: The Fleet Order of Battle (OoB)!! Right now it isn't there 'cos it's being updated with recent changes regarding nowadays Fleet status, but FA mBind himself told me it's almost ready to upload as soon as he gets confirmation from the XO, FO, JAG and IO. Why JAG you ask? Well, because the Intelligence Division has been disbanded due to lack of work (yes, surely there're still some bastards out there, but it's safe enough to say we'll be able to deal with them without all a Group dedicated to just THAT :-P), and now the elite Praetorian Squadron will become TC-only dependant (jiajiajiajiajiajia, we got them by the neck now and won't let them go so easily! xD) and DGN Lichtor V the JAG personal ship... or at least that's what I heard...

V For anybody here interested in Multiplayer activity! Behold! Two new inter-club events to care about! First and foremost, the XvT Week of War on its CXXIII edition. As many of you already know, this one is by far the most important MP competition ever, featuring two editions per month, one for XvT and the other for XWA (one right after the other actually). October WoW weeks started last Friday and you'll have until next Friday to play XvT there and gain some LoCs in behalf of The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet. And also a DFC for the best EH ranking pilot if things are still the same as the last time I participated. But remember that you MUST first make yourselves an account into BSC (right HERE) and ask for your admittance in EH club -within- BSC. And then a member of the COO Office will review and approve your request... let's say... myself? ;-) Ok, I love you all you see, but even then I'll need to first have some official request in order to approve it. Usually I'd forward you to the Course Notes of [MP/2] IWATS because there you'd find all necessary info on registering a BSC account and asking for EH membership, but today... Today I'll do exactly the same dammit! The IWATS Academy also went to hell with the database but I've just uploaded all my assigned Courses into Cyclone website as a TEMPORARY measure so you can take a look. Besides, if you are in the mood of taking the tests (if you didn't do it yet) feel free to do so sending me the answers via e-mail and, as soon as the new database is ready, I'll grade them all (and delete Courses at Cyclone site). ^_^ So far, please find here those IWATS Courses where I'm the Professor:

      [MP/2] Multiplayer: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/IWATS/%5bMP_2%5d/httpdocs/
      [AMP] Advanced Multiplayer: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/IWATS/%5bAMP%5d/httpdocs/
      [XML] Extensible Markup Language: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/IWATS/%5bXML%5d/httpdocs/

     But hey!!! I forgot to mention the second MP event I told you above! It's "10 Year Celebration XvT" and I'm pretty sure that even with all that booze flowing through your veins you have already figured out the reason behind this one (if you didn't I still have here some free passages for the next shuttle departing to the 'Sov' ;-G). It's also a BSC event so you'll need the same account you created for Week of War competitions, and the matches reporting system is exactly the same as well. This one will last until November 1st so you still have some preciousssss days to provide trouble and mayhem there. Don't hesitate to do so and whenever you vape someone let him know you did it in behalf of... The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet!! :-D

      Oh, btw, if you find that hellish kid Xgmx there pay him the same attention you dedicate to any other rotten pile of flesh and lies. He's not allowed to fly under EH name anymore (it had to be me who deleted his EH membership just 2 days ago... (*sigh*)...) so don't fly with him nor against him as long as he's using "EH" in his name. On the other hand, if he wants to fly for any of his silly 1-cretin clubs feel free to do him something especially horrible and sadistic in my behalf! ^_^

     And finally, I'm not sure if you already know about but here it goes: Vice Admiral Dolza has stepped down as Combat Operations Officer (COO) so we're now waiting for a new one to apply and be accepted. That could perfectly mean he awarding all pending LoCs and DFCs as soon as possible (although that would also mean having a COO *actually* doing his work... such a really fearful sight! xD) so stay tuned and... KEEP THOSE SCREENIES!!! >:-D As soon as a new one is appointed and if he wants us to do so we'll send him directly any "24/7 LoCs" pending matches. Not necessary to send him those from BSC events or DJB ICTE events though, 'cos they have their own sites to track your activity, sites that will be visited by some member of VSD Aggressor crew under COO request in order to take notes of all matches flown by any EH pilot. That could be perfectly myself. ;-)


( Spoilers... then again is LCM Ark-illos who delights us with his submitted stuff, also relieving me from telling you to go to he...! (ejem)

"<LCM Ark-illos> LT Vitaru....wining Lord Vader is not going to make you LCM!....It is gonna KILL YOU!!!!!"
Ping Pong Vader
Why using a stormtrooper armor to play ping-pong is beyond me... why using necromancy to play against Vader is FAR beyond me... )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R As I stated above the AWOL check is now almost over if not completely over. Those of you who took your time to respond this critical request please have my most sincere thanks and congrats on your commitment to this little flying asylum of ours! :-D And for the rest... "I hope you washed your arse this morning. You’re about to be KICKED by a FO" <--- (from "Braveheart", TIE Corps-style) But if you still want to save yourselves from such a shameful fate, write now to COL Domi CCing not only me but the Flight Officer himself, telling us you're still there and ready for duty. And do it QUICK!!!

R EJEM!! I'm still waiting for your submissions for "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" competition. Yeeees, I know you have until November 1st to send them over but even then; I wouldn't want you to forget this one! I'm pretty sure we'll have quite a funny time reading them as soon as I upload them both at Cyclone Message Board and Cyclone website, "NUTS Pinacotheca" section.

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to Xgmx, former TIE Corps Lieutenant and official EH moron™, with the subject: "Hey!! Please let me be Executive Officer for one of your 1-member clubs! No matter which one; everybody is going to hate me anyway..."

Q Then again... you'll say I'm a %4¬~@# pest with this, but... remember to keep all your MP score screenshots well stored and ready to be sent to the COO, especially those from "24/7 LoCs" events, because the rest of them maybe will only be useful to validate your matches, and given the circumstances I hardly doubt anyone will ask you for them... heh... as long as you have used the match reporting systems at BSC and DJB ICTE sites, of course. If you didn't I will be the less painful of your problems; you'll realize that you have wasted your time flying matches that nobody will ever add as merits to your profile, and in top of that you'll have a ton of non-EH players begging for your neck, never to play against you again. So yes, YOU SHALL report those WoW and ICTE matches using their reporting systems. It's more healthy for you all... ;-P


II.a) Squadron Competitions

( Without the database don't expect ALL those "Details links" to work... but worth a try :-\ )

P Storm Challenge (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED until I recieve CPT Crsepe's word about it.)
Details HERE
Thunder Squadron asked for mayhem... Acknowleged! Fly the missions! Get the HSs if you can! Write reports on how l33t were you while doing it! And show 'em that whenever somebody asks we about something we tend to add "...and kills us btw" to that something.

P Let there be FUN from TROUBLE
Details in "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #27"!
The entire Fleet is suffering one of its worst moments and the only things you can think about are writing bollocks and "Photoshoping" nonsenses while having fun from people's trouble, let alone collecting shinies for it. And your CMDR says: WHY NOT? ^_^

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Wing X Pilot of the Week (There's no reason for it to remain suspended but I'm not sure. Just fly as much as you can! ;-))
Details HERE
As usual, gents! Our almighty WC, Colonel Domi, will award a bronze shinie in a weekly basis and a silver one per month to whoever demonstrates he's perfectly capable of making the rest of us looking as worse as possible. Fly missions, take IWATS, participate in other comps, drink... and well... drink. Everything counts! Especially to drink. :-D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L SP/MP Ace of the TIE Corps - October 2008 (Not sure about the MP division but SP definitely works)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself? And also a
MP division! KILL everybody and feel proud for it!! IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

L Training Office Recruiting Challenge (Technically available)
Details HERE
An IS-PR... I'm pretty sure many of you think that platinum stuff awardings are just legends and those who actually show such things on their dress uniforms have to pay a monthly fee to the FC himself for him to allow them to lie everybody on how they managed to compite for them. Ok, whatever you say, but whoever first manages to recruit 5! new members for this great club before deadline is in great danger of being awarded one of those. ;-)

L TIE Golf 2008 (Signing up OVER)
Details HERE
Did you think the best way to play a mission was to score as much as possible. Think twice!! What? You think it to be silly? Ok, ok... then I'll just give back to FA Dempsey this IS-PW!! I rented it in order to show you what will be the maximum award... EJEM...

L TAC's Best (October 2008) (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED)
Details HERE
he good thing about this one is that you don't need to actually do anything; just fly the best you can and if you manage to get some HSs you'll be in the good way for winning here! ;-D

L Match the TAC #10
Details HERE
Check out the link above and you'll see. The objective? Easy... try to match TAC's score in that mission! And remember! For this one don't send your pilot files to your CMDR as usual; they must be sent directly to FA Dempsey and they'll be BSFd at the end of the month. If you fail in such an easy requirement Lady Dempsey will come to you by night with a vengeance and... no, wait, screw that!! *I*'ll come to you by night with a vengeance. >:F

L TACcy Quotes
Details HERE
For this one you'll need to read each and every weekly TAC report and... Mmmm? Stop trying to hang yourselves dammit!! What's the problem?! You are right now reading this, right? Then you'll be able to read ANYTHING so shut the hell up you!! >:( Well, as I was telling you, read those reports, find the movie quote lying there and e-mail FA Dempsey as quickly as you can with your answer!

H 24/7 LoC weekly challenge (Multiplayer!!) (Now with VA Dolza "out of order" I'm not sure if this one is still valid. But... same as usual; keep those screenies!!)
Details HERE
Never get yourself a DFC was more easy!! Forget all you may have learnt before! Now DFCs are actually awarded for "24/7LoCs" events using the same guidelines as for their classic awardings on hosted events. Kill 3 different people, rank the best player and blahblahblah... Your best bet I tell you! Quick, before someone actually realizes DFCs awarded this way are just too cheap to be truth. :-P

H DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) (Keep the screenies if you want, but don't forget to report the matches at the event page as well)
Details HERE
Let's see... What would be the best way of dealing with our "new" Dark Jedi Brotherhood (DJB, former rDB) friends in order to show 'em our willing to cicatrize old injuries between our clubs? What about sending them all to hell via MP while punishing their prides by the book? >;-D

H XvT Week of War CXXIII (Multiplayer!!) (Keep the screenies if you want, but don't forget to report the matches into BSC as well)
Details HERE
The best XvT MP competition ever. Period. World-wide! Inter-clubs! And on a monthly basis! Hosted by Battlestats, as usual. Don't forget to take [MP/2] IWATS Course as well as [AMP] if you *REALLY* want to have a chance at this one; the playing level is from the matter the nightmares are made of. LoCs!! DFCs!! Glory not only for you but also for The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet as a whole. Do I need to say more? If you never participated on any of these you never played MP for real, and you guess it to be truth.

H 10 Year Celebration XvT (Multiplayer!!) (Keep the screenies if you want, but don't forget to report the matches into BSC as well)
Details HERE
What if I tell you that this month we have 2!! XvT Weeks of War? :-D Well, this one is not a WoW but it uses exactly the same rules and it has been created to celebrate the 10th anniversary of XvT. It will last 'till the end of October. Time to show everybody your worship for the best MP sim ever, as well as your "don't-give-a-damn" attitude towards the most basic manners while merciless killing people there... this month IN STEREO!! xD

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 LC Elwood the Brave    

  • Promotion!! Major (MAJ) ---> Lieutenant Colonel (LC)


YEEEES!!! I *KNOW* Woody is a dirty 'Phooner but I had to put something there!! :_____D


III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles    

  • Made new versions of my hand-made warrants using the WC3 validator.
  • Final version and it seems it works. At last!!! :D
  • Signed EH into "10 year celebration XvT" BSC event.
  • Reflown TIE-FREE 108 for TIE Golf 2008.
  • Reflown TIE-FREE 232 for TIE Golf 2008.
  • Made a promotion warrant for LT Dunta Polo.
  • Finished last TCS assignment.
  • Tried YET ANOTHER release of NVIDIA drivers... No, STILL no luck. Bastards...
  • Participated in FA Dempsey's "Guess the picture" MBs competition.
  • Participated in EH Trivia today... 0 points. Dammit! >.<
  • Cyclone "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" competition approved today!
  • Signed EH into XvT Week of War CXXIII!
  • Hand-made promotion warrant for LC Elwood the Brave.
  • Send in my try for "TACcy Quotes" on TAC report #283.
  • Removed that moron xgmx from EH BSC Rosters.
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Uploaded [MP/2], [XML] and [AMP] IWATS Courses into Cyclone website.
  • Updated Cyclone Site.

1-2 LT Dalon Holtz        x MORE

  • Now I'm not expecting anything from you anymore, but you're expecting an AWOL. Trust me... >:_F

1-3 LT Reginald Q. Dork        x MORE

  • The only thing you did here in all this time was to mimic LT Holtz's "performance" you see... well, mimic now his expectatives over there...

1-4 COL Obi-Wan       

  • No word from him this week although I would swear having seen him briefly on IRC... :-P

2-1 LCM Ark-illos        <--- If this would come from EH-wide activity this guy would be much more happy! :-P

  • And another try in "Match the TAC #10"
  • And yet another try in "Match the TAC #10" GO, Lt. Commander!!! ;D
  • Excellent activity for The Dark Brotherhood, but sadly I cannot use it here. :\
  • Sent Flight weekly report just in time! New version but then again, outstanding quality!!
  • Provided us some nice Star Wars icons through ISD Challenge MBs.
  • Participated in FA Dempsey's "Guess the picture" MBs competition.
  • Nice e-mail activity on almost a daily basis! And this week his activity at the MBs has improved about 500%!! :-D

2-3 LCM Vitaru       

  • Another try at "Match the TAC #10".
  • Changed TC e-mail address to vitaru.a.eh@gmail.com
  • And another try at "Match the TAC #10"... Flight II scares me... 0__o
  • Submitted FM report in time.
  • Participated in FA Dempsey's "Guess the picture" MBs competition.
  • Excellent e-mail activity, as usual!! And keeps his MBs activity at the highest standards, with help from his "monkey" ;-D

2-4 SL Psyntience        x

  • Part of my madman fame is your fault, Lieutenant!! They just don't stop reporting having seen me talking with myself whenever I try to tell you something. :-P

3-2 LT H'Dey Omen        x 100

  • H'Dey, man... you're almost facing a nasty AWOL... Don't you think it's time already to end this joke? :__|

3-3 LCM Kael Dalor        x 100

  • LCM Dalor, 2 details for ya! Good one: I've already resent all your September pilot files and they'll be processed immediately by the TAC herself. Bad one: you have an AWOL chasing you right now...

3-4 LT Siriah Tan       

  • Tasked by AD Stryfe to find out who is in charge of EH plot continuity and decisions.
  • Participated in FA Dempsey's "Guess the picture" MBs competition.
  • Nice and long conversation through IRC regarding the possibility of setting up of a little database only to manage Cyclone material.
  • Submitted FM report and updated her activity report website.
  • Good e-mail contact, not to mention her classic amazing IRC activity on a daily basis! ;-)

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. Contact your Flight Leader or Squadron Commander at least once a week!! This is BUT VERY important in order to mantain your arse within the roster. CMDR may well have the nasty mania of kicking mute people out of the airlock...
  7. Be always loyal to the TIE Corps Fleet, then the ISD Challenge and Wing X, then Cyclone.
  8. Kill any rebel scumb, dirty smuggler or pathetic pirate on sight and with a smile on your face. Cleaning 'da house!
  9. Have fun doing all this stated above! Now this one is a f****** order; if you don't accomplish with this one you're really doing nothing. Go away and make something better with your life like having a pathetic RL job, trying for your wife to not cheat you with a REAL PILOT... ahem...
  10. It would be sooo simetric and perfect for you to have a 10th order... but you haven't. :-P


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


At the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge, Flagship of the TIE Corps, and only if you decide to disobey all orders of "no trespassing", disregard all alerts of "Mortal Danger", avoid all traps carefully settled by the ship flag staff and don't give a damn about what the most basic common sense tells you, you'll finally find Cyclone Squadron Quarters. Or they'll find you instead... whatever... usually it's a very chaotic place with the members of "The Demolition Crew" running from here to there trying to accomplish with their daily duties as best as possible; developing battle tactics! (involving the best way to assault the Commodore's secret booze stash), sharpening their flying skills! (with their amazing "bottle-throwing" competitions), improving their accuracy! ('cos they found the way to install a pool table there and nobody noticed it yet), learning to dodge as necessary! (basically they learnt to avoid standing obstacles while rolling on the floor after a party. The bad way)...

But today something strange is going on there: the day-cycle has just begun and some noises are coming out from their little kitchen. Lt. Commander Ark-illos, Flight II Leader, has been awakened by such noises and enters the kitchen to take a look. And there's Major Zósite, The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone®, doing something with all those ingredients and a frying pan. Hell!! But if he's cooking! 0__o

<LCM Ark> Sir?!! W-What are you supposed to be doing? :__|

<MAJ Zós> Well, Ark, when did your eyes decide to stop working all of a sudden? Isn't it obvious? I'm cooking.

<LCM Ark> But... but... what the hell... I mean: WHY??!!

<MAJ Zós> You'll want a breakfast for this morning, won't you?

<LCM Ark> Yeah but, what about those Ewok slaves you had assigned to cooking tasks?

<MAJ Zós> I told them to be careful! I told them but noooo, they wouldn't hear... So now I can safely state that yesterday was the last time I had to withstand eating toothpaste instead of mayonnaise. Right now they're performing as fuel... ¬¬

<LCM Ark> *Ouch*... I see... oh, well, let me thank you for your efforts in making the breakfast for all the Squadron, Sir. =)

<MAJ Zós> Yeah... -__-u

So MAJ Zósite continues cooking while LCM Ark-illos stands right there looking the whole process... the last thing he would want would be to be in serious need of a skilled member of the Fleet Medical Corps as soon as the breakfast is over. But then Lieutenant Siriah Tan, from "The Gale Providers", enters the kitchen as well and watches the ongoing sacrilegy. MAJ Zósite doesn't notice but she looks Ark and both display an ominous smile before LT Tan starts speaking.

<LT Tan> But, Sir!! You're cooking for us, aren't you? ^_^

<MAJ Zós> Breakfast you know... it will be ready soon... as soon as I can figure out which one is the sugar and which one the salt... ummm...

<LT Tan> But! But, Major!!! Behold!! The oil!! You must put there the bacon before it gets completely burnt! Aaaaargh! It's already stinking like vaped rebel scum. So disgusting... Wait!! But if that's not bacon yet but plain pork belly! If you try to fry THAT with the eggs the food won't be tasty at all. Oh, noes...

<LCM Vitaru> Certainly, Major! Besides, those eggs don't look too nice, do they? >:-J

<MAJ Zós> Vitaru! You here too? Dammit, I need some peace to finish with this! :-L

<LCM Vitaru> But what kind of pan are you using there?! That's not a pan by Palpatine sakes, it's a wok!! That should be only used to cook in wok-style, never ever to fry with oil anyway!! Oh, no! Too late! You've just wasted the oil and those two eggs. Speaking of which... as I said five lines above, those eggs are rotten! I can smell them from here and they're not even fried yet! Beeelch...

<MAJ Zós> What?!! The eggs are...? But if I stole them directly from Domi's chef!! Curse him!!

Colonel Obi-Wan and Lt. Commander Kael Dalor join the party now, still wearing their "duty pyjamas"... they look at their comrades and in a matter of seconds understand perfectly what's all this about.

<COL Obi-Wan> Now what's THAT smell?!

<LCM Dalor> Hell! Last time I remember smelling something like that it was in front of a Gamorrean fishmonger's... and they were facing bankrupcy!!

<MAJ Zós> Oh, come on people... you won't notice about if I manage to fry them with those tasty potatoes over there. ^_^u

<LCM Ark> Potatoes indeed... but, Sir! You forgot to put them in water first! Do you want us to vomit earth for a week or something? By Lord Vader's helmet! My money is in we will need the bloody TIE Protector to make it in time to the doctor after tasting that!! No way...

<LT Tan> Definitely we're going to regret this I tell you...

<LCM Vitaru> Let alone the mandatory digestion malfunctions and all sorts of related diseases...

<COL Obi-Wan> I think they still have some beef steak at Typhoon Quarters. Wouldn't it be safer for everybody if we just go there and ask them to...?


<Cyclone - {Zós}> ... ^_^ ...

<MAJ Zós> WHAT?!!

<LCM Ark> Well, Sir, now you know how is to be training in the flight simulator with YOU at our side... >:-)

<MAJ Zós> >:_________D

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)

(Not necessary to mention that without a working database these ranks are as updated as the damned FMC website and none of the profile links work... :P)

Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points)

[5652] & [509] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 3rd (40 points)

[121] & [42] LCM Ark-illos

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & No rank (0 points)

[98] & [0] LCM Kael Dalor

Hussar [HUSS] (50 points) & No rank (0 points)

[71] & [0] LT H'Dey Omen

Lancer [LANC] (40 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[47] & [32] LCM Vitaru

Grenadier [GREN] (10 points) & No rank (0 points)

[10] & [0] LT Dalon Holtz

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Reginald Q. Dork

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Psyntience

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Siriah Tan

? (? points) & ? (? points)

[?] & [?] COL Obi-Wan

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You HAD it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Dalon Holtz
3) LT Reginald Q. Dork
4) COL Obi-Wan

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Dalon Holtz
3) LT Reginald Q. Dork
4) COL Obi-Wan

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Ark-illos
2) TBA
3) LCM Vitaru
4) SL Psyntience

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) TBA
2) LT H'Dey Omen
3) LCM Kael Dalor
4) LT Siriah Tan

Squadron Citations (?):
 Cyclone citations

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
GS/SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-74BW-31BR-42SW-13SR-32GW-5GR-3PW/LoC-RSx2-CSx7-Rx4/DFC-SW-Rx4/MoC-13BoC-2SoC-2GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoLx2/CoB/OV [GLDR]

SP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / MP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / Top Gun of RtF 2007 / Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07-Dec07-Aug08 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07-Nov07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA-Nov07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Member of Cyclone, Wing Commander's Own on Oct 08

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."