D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #31 C

November 11, MMVIII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore Angel and last but not least Flight Officer... I mean (*ejem*) TIE Corps Commander Jarek La'an >


Welcome to this, my thirty-first Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Slow week? Not actually! I FLEW A MISSION!!! True story! And that alone would be enough for me to write a 2-hundred pages report on my l33tness, I know, but we've been able to see more signs of underperforming and other sacrilegies here and there as the week came to its end a couple of days ago...

A new COO was appointed, at last (hence my NUTS fiction)! Ashkar recieved his very first promotion (CT-SL is not a promo, but more a good way to stop looking as a target)! The October MSE was submitted to the higher ups (expect the unexpected, as long as the unexpected comes to be worse)! And the EH Command Staff was restructured (I'm still trying hard for my 'bryans' to stop melting every 5 mins. when thinking about the whole thing)!

All this and much more, as long as you don't mind to be tainted by my corrupt verb and live to tell it... BELOW...

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V What's the best way to start a WSR? A pint you say? Ok... what's the SECOND best way to start a WSR? Wait! Wait! And given the fact that there're no half-pints available?... Exactly!! A new promotion for a worthy Cyclonite!!! This time you must forward your salutations to our newest member Ashkar, Cyclone 2-2, who finally decomissioned that dangerous Sub-Lieutenant rank badge (it's like having a bull's eye pinned on your jacket (:-|) after earning himself a shiny full Lieutenant one. And all this due to his splendid performance as a MP pilot to date, already with several matches under his belt. Add to that the fact that they were flown against either LCM Ark-illos, LCM Vitaru and that Cadet Eledrath (one of this days you'll be MINE I tell you! >:-F) and the whole picture comes to be too way creepy for my poor deranged soul... Dammit!! How little this Fleet can be! Some time ago I refused to help in the project of reopening Avenger (I preferred to remain here providing pain, go figure) and now it seems Avenger has reopened itself upon me with a vengeance...

      Oh well... the rest of you!! Get ready for one of our infamous promo parties at the Wing X Cantina, as usual. There, Lieutenant Ashkar will be kind enough (no matter if he's up for it or already looking for an escape vector and heading for the trash compactor) to pay you all booze you consider appropiate to "process" and more. Congratulations, Lieutenant Ashkar, you have been promoted! My most sincere condolences, Lieutenant Ashkar, you have been robbed! Get used to it as long as you keep performing as expected. ^_^

V The time has come! Get ready those container transports full of pending MP matches reports because we have now a corpse-wannabe... I mean, a dedicated and skilled officer in charge of processing them all! And he's an old friend of mine as I served under his command as COOA some months ago! Yeah, the rumours were true: Admiral Stryker, old Infiltrator Wing pilot, Red CMDR and Wing XXI WC, has been appointed as Combat Operations Officer (COO) of The Emperor's Hammer... AGAIN. And I must say it was quite a wise choice; who better suited to endure the pain, the frustration, the myriad mind conditions coming from the fact of being in charge of all those crazy dudes who think all arguments should last 10 and only 10 minutes and whenever their turn starts they use their 5 to keep shooting around until someone comes to be kind enough to show 'em a fake score panel stating their "kills", than someone belonging to the always underrated club of "Been There Done That®"?

      I'm pretty sure we can put our confidance on Admiral Stryker to lead from front and drive this Fleet to the position it deserves, to the position IT HELD for quite a long time before the overall slacking and "don't-give-a-damn" attitude started preying on us. The time will come, my minions!! But for the time being you have the right to choose: on any MP related subject you can either contact me as COOA and face the consequences (rabid ewok swarms... merciless whip... ominous spot of honey, you know...) or contact directly all a COO for him to help you as necessary. One thing is for sure: you got a MP match to report? You send it over to the guy who assaulted your bedroom piloting an X-Wing with some disaffection for brakes. >:-J

V New battle released!! Yes, ANOTHER. And tested by myself as TCS FYI... (*sigh*) No matter how hard I try I can't find the reason behind so much TAC hate on my poor persona... :-P But you know, it's my duty to fly all these thingies BEFORE you can even have the chance to do it in order to check if you will be able to recieve all the pain and misery the mission/battle creator judged appropiate to provide. And this one comes from FA Dempsey herself (Yes, ANOTHER.) so you can rest assured that the agony will remain at the usual standards... ... ... Ok, ok, fly this one! The battle is absolutely excellent and the I'm pretty sure you'll find its end epic enough for the likes of you. No kidding; it was maybe the best battle I've flown in months despite it involves the EH and The Empire for that matter only barely. ;-)

TIE-TC 239 : End of the line by FA Anahorn Dempsey

V The Emperor's Hammer Command Staff has been restructured! But not the restructuration we were waiting for with all them performing as waiters/waitresses at the Wing X Cantina while their Admiralty payments take care of the drinks. No, we'll need to keep wishing for that... it seems the Fleet Commander himself with the cunning advise from the plotting-evil Executive Officer (Daaaaaaaaaaan!! What on earth we did to you?! :___D), and the full support of all those machievellian guys with double big-gold stripes on their sleeves, has finally found an actually working way for all us to sink into the deepest pits of hopeless madness (not NUTness, take note, *THAT* pit is MINE >:_q):

      Now the COO comes under the XO as well as the SO and the JAG, the FC has the FSE employed while the FSE himself comes to be the IO, who has now the COMM and RO under his belt. The LO doesn't even exist yet, but as soon as he decides to start existing he'll be under TO orders. And the SCO was owned by the TAC, the end of a long lasting lust for power. And there're the GCOs together with the FO not longer being the FO but only the TCCOM, GCO of the TC. And a lonely OPS. And rumours of a SOO... GROOOO!! DOOOO!!! UOOHHHHH!!! x__X Basically:

EH Circus: FC (FSE) > XO (JAG + SO + COO) > GCOs (including TCCOM) - TO (LO) - TAC (SCO) - IO (COMM + RO) - OPS

      Yeah, I'm trying to keep my jaw at its usual level as well. But don't panic! The Executive Officer himself has promised us we'll have a much more understandable graphical version, simpler to visualize, as soon as possible... ;-D

     ... ... ... Ok, PANIC. ^_^u


( Spoilers... Spoilers... Spoilers... today we talk about Dark Brotherhood members; you know, the guys in robes. They fill their mouths on how much they're far better than you in almost everything: they are more intelligent, they're more fanatic, they're more cunning, they're better trained, they're better fighters and, LE SIGH!, they're better pilots, what else! Well, after a careful investigation inside their own ranks, LCM Ark-illos has provided us proofs of them having quite a hard time when looking for job. Not surprising. What could you expect after a given job interview from someone like this: " - Well, Sir, you see... I know how to wear robes with dignity and... amm... I'm skilled in hand-to-hand combat with fancy fluorescent lamps... and... err... well, I can kill you. And hell, I'm just looking towards it!"? Thus admire the results:

DB dude looking for job
Ohhhhh, but they're happy with sooo few... mind training, you know
):-J )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R MSE (Monthly Squadron Evaluation) already submitted to the higher ups! And since we have been quite a long time without a nice IWATS Academy Nexus to check out the [SM/3] (Squadron Management) IWATS Course, let me explain you what exactly a MSE is. A MSE is something so horrible and frustrating to compile that you don't actually need to hear much more about it until you either pass [SM/3] or turn to be crazy enough to be appointed CMDRs yourselves. That's it. Oh, and it's said it can digivolution on a MWE which is almost the same but featuring WCOM + COM wrath! ^_^u

     But there's something about it! It's the main suspect of being the thing which will provide you those monthly merit awards as soon as we have a working database again. And that should be enough for all of you to rejoyce! Except if you're currently showing the same peformance as a THIS guy when it comes to self-shaving, of course... then you can rest assured I did my best to make fun of you there... the bad way... >:) And medals? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

R I've come to know that some people here, mainly from Flight II (*Suddenly MAJ Zós remembers his newest FL*) and ALSO from Flight III are engaging themselves in some curious weekly unofficial mini-competition which involves flying a given FREE mission doing their best, and later worship whoever gets the best score and make countless pranks on whoever gets the worst. Great! Splendid! That's exactly the spirit and motivation I'm always looking for here, well done! :-D

     And now... why don't just make your CMDR happier by SENDING HIM THOSE PILOT FILES?!! >.-D No, really, please remember that no matter the number of missions you fly nor the reason why you fly them they can always count as flying activity, and that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing here! And if you ever want those things to look kinda "official" I already told you what you have to do. ;-)

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to the LO, who is now under the TO, who does not outrank the TAC, while she goes over the SCO, whom TCCOM outranks being GCO, despite he's not FO anymore, with the subject: "HO-HO-HO! And a bottle of... HO!!"

R And finally, as promised, here you are my own scores for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" Cyclone-only flying competition. All these FREE missions were flown on Medium level although I tried to do my best, as usual. Now don't waste this splendid opportunity I give you and outscore your hellish CMDR in ANY of them for a nice IS-BW! And face it: next time I won't be so friendly... it's like tossing IS-BWs around just for fun! Oh, and I want you to have fun, but it's my duty as CMDR for all of you to have PAIN. >.-J

TIE-FREE 270 : 43,088
XvT-FREE 220 : 33,656
XWA-FREE 140 : 5,100
XW-FREE 10 : 22,709


II.a) Squadron Competitions

( Without the database don't expect ALL those "Details links" to work... but worth a try :-\ )

P Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!
Details at Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #30 "News Section"
Basic flying training for the upcoming Raise the Flag, my minions! You have 2 weeks to fly 4 FREE missions the best you can and send me your pilot files. Up to 5 potential IS-BWs if you demonstrate to be NUTS enough, not to mention the possibility of making all your Squad mates to look like retarded slugs compared to you! Ok, I could have made this one easier but you still want the rest of the Fleet to think you are *STILL* deserving some respect, no? >:-P

P Storm Challenge (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED until I recieve CPT Crsepe's word about it.)
Details HERE
Thunder Squadron asked for mayhem... Acknowleged! Fly the missions! Get the HSs if you can! Write reports on how l33t were you while doing it! And show 'em that whenever somebody asks we about something we tend to add "...and kills us btw" to that something.

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Wing X Pilot of the Week (There's no reason for it to remain suspended but I'm not sure. Just fly as much as you can! ;-))
Details HERE
As usual, gents! Our almighty WC, Colonel Domi, will award a bronze shinie in a weekly basis and a silver one per month to whoever demonstrates he's perfectly capable of making the rest of us looking as worse as possible. Fly missions, take IWATS, participate in other comps, drink... and well... drink. Everything counts! Especially to drink. :-D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L SP/MP Ace of the TIE Corps - November 2008 (Now BOTH divisions should be working with a new COO!!)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself? And also a
MP division! KILL everybody and feel proud for it!! IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

L Training Office Recruiting Challenge (Technically available)
Details HERE
An IS-PR... I'm pretty sure many of you think that platinum stuff awardings are just legends and those who actually show such things on their dress uniforms have to pay a monthly fee to the FC himself for him to allow them to lie everybody on how they managed to compite for them. Ok, whatever you say, but whoever first manages to recruit 5! new members for this great club before deadline is in great danger of being awarded one of those. ;-)

L TAC's Best (November 2008) (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED)
Details HERE
he good thing about this one is that you don't need to actually do anything; just fly the best you can and if you manage to get some HSs you'll be in the good way for winning here! ;-D

L Match the TAC #11
Details HERE
Check out the link above and you'll see. The objective? Easy... try to match TAC's score in that mission! And remember! For this one don't send your pilot files to your CMDR as usual; they must be sent directly to FA Dempsey and they'll be BSFd at the end of the month. If you fail in such an easy requirement Lady Dempsey will come to you by night with a vengeance and... no, wait, screw that!! *I*'ll come to you by night with a vengeance. >:F

L TACcy Quotes
Details HERE
For this one you'll need to read each and every weekly TAC report and... Mmmm? Stop trying to hang yourselves dammit!! What's the problem?! You are right now reading this, right? Then you'll be able to read ANYTHING so shut the hell up you!! >:( Well, as I was telling you, read those reports, find the movie quote lying there and e-mail FA Dempsey as quickly as you can with your answer!

H 24/7 LoC weekly challenge (Multiplayer!!) (New COO! Keep sending those screenies over!)
Details HERE
Never get yourself a DFC was more easy!! Forget all you may have learnt before! Now DFCs are actually awarded for "24/7LoCs" events using the same guidelines as for their classic awardings on hosted events. Kill 3 different people, rank the best player and blahblahblah... Your best bet I tell you! Quick, before someone actually realizes DFCs awarded this way are just too cheap to be truth. :-P

H DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) (Send the screenies to the COO, but don't forget to report the matches at the event page as well)
Details HERE
Let's see... What would be the best way of dealing with our "new" Dark Jedi Brotherhood (DJB, former rDB) friends in order to show 'em our willing to cicatrize old injuries between our clubs? What about sending them all to hell via MP while punishing their prides by the book? >;-D All Saturdays 24/7 on Undernet #outerrim IRC channel!

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions / Awards / Bribes


2-2 LT Ashkar    

  • Promotion!! Sub-Lieutenant (SL) ---> Lieutenant (LT)


And well, for this special occasion, although not a cyclonite by any means, let me introduce you no other than the long awaited...


--- AD Stryker    

  • Reservist (RSV) ---> EH Combat Operations Officer (COO) Imperial Advisor


III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles    

  • "24/LoCs" 1 game against COL Dax Corrin. A tie!!! After quite a loooong time someone ties me! I love it! ^^
  • Reccomended SL Ashkar to be promoted to full Lieutenant.
  • Graded [AMP] IWATS.
  • Graded [XML] IWATS.
  • Compiled (AGAIN) and resent all pending MP matches on my end.
  • Compiled Cyclone MSE for last October.
  • Explaining my 2 Flight Leaders about submitting competitions procedures.
  • Submitted TCS beta report.
  • Reflown TIE-FREE 270 for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" competition.
  • Reflown XvT-FREE 220 for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" competition.
  • Reflown XWA-FREE 140 for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" competition.
  • Reflown XW-FREE 10 for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" competition.
  • Participated in "Match the TAC" Nov-08 competition. Waiting for results.
  • Updated [MP/2] IWATS Course with reference of the new "10 in One Melees" WoW patch.
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone Site.

1-4 COL Obi-Wan        x 100

  • Ok, now is when I start thinking your future here involves my CMDR's boot more than necessary, Colonel. PLEASE, contact me already, and before "Raise the Flag" starts if possible!

2-1 LCM Ark-illos       

  • Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 4.
  • Participated in "TACcy Quotes" competition.
  • Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 5.
  • Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 6 (Not finished).
  • Another try at XWA-DB 1 Mission 6. Not successful yet. :P
  • Sent Flight weekly report in time.
  • As usual, excellent levels of communication, mostly by e-mail, and not only with me but with the Squadron as a whole!

2-2 LT Ashkar       

  • Promoted to full Lieutenant!!
  • 24/7 LoCs - 5+ games against LCM Vitaru and CT Eledrath. <--- (Not sure about the exact number; send your FL your reports in time dammit! >:F)
  • We'd appreciate some improvement on your Squadron-level communications, Lieutenant. I *KNOW* you're there. ;-)

3-1 LCM Vitaru       

  • Flown TIE-FREE 276 and XWA-DB 1.
  • Tried [AMP] IWATS Course - 70% Good work but not there yet.
  • Passed [XML] IWATS Course - 86%
  • Helping SL Ashkar to fly EH custom missions.
  • Reported some old MP matches (not processed by the COO yet) to help in Ashkar's promo to LT.
  • 24/7 LoCs - 5 MP matches against LT Ashkar and CT Eledrath.
  • Flown XWA-FREE 142 for some Cyclone Flight II-only competition. Not reported yet.
  • Submitted his last FM report as Cyclone 2-3.
  • 24/7 LoCs - 2 MP matches against LT Ashkar.
  • 24/7 LoCs - 3 MP matches against LT Ashkar and CT Eledrath.
  • Paticipated in "Competition time !!!! (season 1 episode 3)" MBs competition.
  • Submitted his first Flight III report. Outstanding quality and extremely funny! :D
  • Reported all pending MP matches to the new COO. 52 victories for Vitaru?!!! 0__0
  • Outstanding communications, as usual. E-mail... some Wing X mailing list activity... MBs posts almost daily!


  • LCM Dalor... let's put it this way: you either contact me in a week or so or you're OUT. And trust me, it's gonna hurt me more than you given your old excellent performance. :-\

3-4 LT Siriah Tan       

  • Still on LoA, but she wrote us telling she won't be able to be back in full 'till 11/25 or so... :-\
  • Her daily presence on #tiecorps, #emperor's_hammer and #isd_challenge is a fact. As well as her activity at the MBs. :-D

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. Contact your Flight Leader or Squadron Commander at least once a week!! This is BUT VERY important in order to mantain your arse within the roster. CMDR may well have the nasty mania of kicking mute people out of the airlock...
  7. Be always loyal to the TIE Corps Fleet, then the ISD Challenge and Wing X, then Cyclone.
  8. Kill any rebel scumb, dirty smuggler or pathetic pirate on sight and with a smile on your face. Cleaning 'da house!
  9. Have fun doing all this stated above! Now this one is a f****** order; if you don't accomplish with this one you're really doing nothing. Go away and make something better with your life like having a pathetic RL job, trying for your wife to not cheat you with a REAL PILOT... ahem...
  10. It would be sooo simetric and perfect for you to have a 10th order... but you haven't. :-P


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)

From the author: It is strongly advised to use THIS device in order to understand some speech on this NUTS fiction unless you have no life. In this last case you'll understand it perfectly and it's advised to use THIS instead...


We've gone through quite a dark period for those Emperor's Hammer officers devoted to Multiplayer behaviours. No EH internal MP competitions. Dirty Rebels and all sorts of nasty fauna winning WoW after WoW and thinking the EH finally met its demise. Waterfalls of MP matches reports orphaned of some dedicated officer to process them properly. We were dying, lady and gentlemen, condemned to slowly weaken and eventually die as MP pilots; no more intelligent and cunning human opponents fencing their fearful skills against our poor sixes, forever doomed to play against... against...

Stupid AI

How could have we withstanded such levels of shameful and unbehaving ways? How to keep calling ourselves pilots when our "enemies" needed us to tell them the level of intelligence we would want to face and kept thinking that 1 + 1 = 0? Palpatine knows (maybe that's why he wisely decided to remain dead :-P) BUT! Now those terrible days are finally over!

Admiral Stryker, former devoted member of the Infiltrator Wing, former Wing XXI Commander, known pink X-Wings l0ver... like a dirty moisture farmer but wearing a nice EH uniform and skilled enough to make you to eat your own words with no salt but proton torpedoes enough to go round... has been appointed as the new Emperor's Hammer Combat Operations Officer (COO). Well, not so new since he belongs to the infamous "Been There, Done That®" club; yeah, he was our COO some time ago and did pretty well I tell you. Sadly, a few months on the spot were enough for him to need a full (or fool for that matter) Tour of Duty at the M/TFC Last Hope, Fleet Medical Corps Flagship, were he was assigned one of those fancy straitjackets (with an Admiral rank badge pinned on it, of course!) and several colourful pills in order for him to keep calm and quite far from anybody else to prevent further slaughters. Now, after several months under a painful process of re-education in order for the good old Admiral to realize that a given person doesn't NECESSARY need to be disemboweled first to deal with, he has returned shiny and stronger to take back his former job. Hopes are on him to drive the almighty EH Fleet into a new era of Multiplaying glory when the rest of the clubs out there will be forced (the bad way) to recognize our superiority... The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet deserved right to rule over everybody else!!! Because, you know...

Been There, Done That® >;-)

Right now, the EH Executive Officer himself, Sector Admiral Daniel Bonini, wanders the corridors of the Victory II-class Star Destroyer Aggressor, home of the Combat Operations Office, looking for the office of the newest of his close Advisors. It's time to sort out with him the future procedures for all the EH Groups to engage each other in a season of hard MP training, looking towards the upcoming victories on each and every MP event which administrators are crazy enough to let us to participate. But it's curious... after wandering the corridors close to the office for minutes looking for the appropiate door, SA Bonini starts realizing how messy the whole place actually is, completely unbehaving of any comissioned EH ship. Tons of wreckage impossible to identify lying around, tech furniture levelled to pieces here and there, computer terminals upside down and/or performing as columns to support walls which never needed to be supported.

<SA Bonini> Hell... I knew this place isn't recognized for being the most tidy ship on the Fleet, but this is too much even for the ludic space of the likes of Zós and DV... my money is on finding that retired Dolza sleeping in a trashcan if I get lost here...

Soon afterwards, the XO finds at last the door to the COO Office. Well, a wooden sign quickly glued on a nearby wall says it is the COO Office... the automatized security-door has been replaced by some TIE/In hexagonal wing with hinges. SA Bonini pushes it and finally enters the Office, only to find... well, let's just say that if you ever 'google' for the word "unhealthy" you'll surely find a pic of this place.

<SA Bonini> S-Stryker... Admiral Stryker? You here, man? :-|

<AD Stryker> Stop your engines at once or else you!!! So you finally returned to face your bitter end at my hands! GLHF!! GLHF I tell you and let's finish this off!! >.___D

<SA Bonini> WTF?!! Is that the appropiate way to recieve your superior? Where the hell have you been hiding all this time? Not a single report from you since more than a week ago and... More importantly! Where is YOUR UNIFORM?!

The COO, completely high on the fumes, jumps over his own desk wearing some curious armor resembling that of the black Power Ranger but featuring a scaled TIE cockpit as helmet and with little X-Wing wings (fixed on attack setup) attached to it.

<AD Stryker> BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ph33r my l33+ness you!! Roxx0rz for ya n00bishness!

<SA Bonini> Would you be so kind to spit out that loofa of yours before daring to address me in such way? >:(

<AD Stryker> W00000t!!!! We've all a brave dudah here, ein? Ok then!!! Come here and get me if you can! My host now, you Suxxorz! First 5 mins, enough for you to meet your demise! Difficulty level set to hard! AI set to 0! Come for my six you punk!

<SA Bonini> But Stryker! Do you even realize you're right now gathering points for your courtmarshall as if there's no tomorrow? Stop this crazyness immediately or I...!

<AD Stryker> You what?!! J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J|J| j00Z r 0\/\/|\|3D! p\/\/|\|3D 4(7U4LL'/ 4|\|D 7|-|3 b4D \/\/4'/ 4|\|D 1 d0|\|'7 |\|33D 4 rUDD3R 70 5UPP0R7 /\/\'/ \/\/0RD5!!! Have at you!!!

Suddenly SA Bonini faces the bitter truth. The NUTS Admiral has some hand-made device attached to his hip, resembling one of those personal launchers of proton mini-torpedoes usually bestowed to Zero-G space troopers.

<AD Stryker> So you thought warheads weren't allowed at all, didn't you? Think again!!!

<SA Bonini> ... 0____oU ...

The COO-madman starts shooting mini-torpedoes all over the place blowing up several sections of that deck as well as 2 or 3 nearby ones. Fortunately, the XO managed to find cover under the COO desk itself with him not noticing about his quick movements. SA Bonini fences his reglamentary DH-17 Blaster Pistol now, more than ready to end the new COO's career the way he has been almost yelling for.

<AD Stryker> MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 704573D!! 90774 L0\/3 7|-|3 $/\/\3LL 0Ph bUr|\|1|\|9 PhL3$|-| @ /\/\0r|\|1|\|9!!

But suddenly SA Bonini fixes his eyes on the floor for a moment. The whole place is literally flooded with MP matches reports! Tons over tons of official papers stating all needed details on such events. So many of them actually that you could arrange all them together and make a super-giant 'eclipse-class torch' or something to set the entire Coruscant on fire, a hundred times the devastating power of a Torpedo Sphere! The XO can recognize some names there too... Ark-illos, Vitaru, Eledrath, Vitaru, Ashkar, Vitaru, Ark-illos, Ark-illos, Zósite, Ashkar,Vitaru, Ark-illos, Eledrath, Vitaru, Ark-illos, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru, Vitaru... And then the Executive Officer understood...

<SA Bonini> Poor guy... -__-u

<AD Stryker> NOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOO!!!! You shot the buoy!!! You just screwed up the score!!! D13!!! D13 '/0U 5(U/\/\B49!! d1333333!!!

...managed to knock out the deranged Admiral from behind and quickly returned to the SSSD Sovereign looking for help. A day later he arrived the M/TFC Last Hope looking for QUALIFIED help.

Some days later, Cyclone Squadron in full pays a visit to Admiral Stryker onboard the 'Last Hope'. Not a very long visit to be honest; enough for Major Zósite, the Wicked CMDR of Cyclone, to finally shut the little window on the Admiral's padded cell door and state:

<MAJ Zós> He's hopeless. He'll need at least three months here to start telling the difference between his stuffed rounded spoon and a Pinook Fighter. :-\

<LCM Vitaru> So what is to be done now, Sir? Who is going to process all our MP matches? Our hopes were on the Admiral for him to accomplish such a titanic task and now... Where are our LoCs?!!! :____D

<MAJ Zós> Ummmmm... hmmm... yes, why not?

<LT Ashkar> Sir?

<MAJ Zós> Our brave Executive Officer was who put an end to Admiral Stryker's performance at the Aggressor. He said it was for his own sakes and in order for him to be able to be reintegrated into the Fleet one of these days. Now, I find perfectly appropiate for the good old Sector Admiral to be the officer directly responsible of processing all pending matches. For the Glory of The Empire!!! ^_^

<LCM Ark-illos> But... does he ACTUALLY deserve such punishment, Major?

<MAJ Zós> He DOES. >:-J

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)

(Not necessary to mention that without a working database these ranks are as updated as the damned FMC website and none of the profile links work... :P)

Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points)

[5652] & [509] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 3rd (40 points)

[121] & [42] LCM Ark-illos

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & No rank (0 points)

[98] & [0] LCM Kael Dalor

Lancer [LANC] (40 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[47] & [32] LCM Vitaru

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Ashkar

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Siriah Tan

? (? points) & ? (? points)

[?] & [?] COL Obi-Wan

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You HAD it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) COL Obi-Wan

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) COL Obi-Wan

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Ark-illos
2) LT Ashkar
3) TBA
4) TBA

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) LCM Vitaru
2) TBA
3) LCM Kael Dalor
4) LT Siriah Tan

Squadron Citations (?):
 Cyclone citations

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
GS/SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-74BW-31BR-42SW-13SR-32GW-5GR-3PW/LoC-RSx2-CSx7-Rx4/DFC-SW-Rx4/MoC-13BoC-2SoC-2GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoLx2/CoB/OV-2E [GLDR]

SP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / MP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / Top Gun of RtF 2007 / Grand Champion of TIE Golf 2008 / Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07-Dec07-Aug08 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07-Nov07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA-Nov07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Member of Cyclone, Wing Commander's Own on Oct 08

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."