D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #5 C

August 05, MMVII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >


Welcome to this, my fifth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Two excellent news entries, and a very bad one... plenty of shinies upon me... plenty of shinies waiting for you to get 'em. What else can I say?...

Anyway, please know all of you that from next Monday and until September (you'll know the exact date as soon as I know too) I'll be on some sort of semi-LoA. That means I'll only be available at Fridays and Saturdays and completely out of reach on any other day. That means you'll need to be patient for your stuff to be processed, not to mention for your mails to be answered... Terrible, I know, but you can always contact LC Kadon Beir, Flight II Leader, for some help within the week or Colonel Angel himself if you need some pilot file to be processed immediately. Of course I'll try to keep my WSRs and MSE in time as well as to host my MP competition on Fridays.

You'll recieve more info about as soon as I mail the flags and the whole Wing on the subject, maybe tomorrow. By the way, I'll do my best to devour tons of Squids while on vacations. Tons, DO YA HEAR ME?!!! TONS I TELL YOU!!!

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V New blood!!!! We have new blood here, lady and gentlemen! BWHAHAHAHA!!!

/me wears his Ventrue Vampire disguise... or was it a Malkavian one?

    Sub-Lieutenant Vertigo and Sub-Lieutenant Verde have joined our glorious Squadron after completing their training in Platform Daedalus!! Please provide them a warm welcome and try to be fair with their SL payment when compelling them to pay the drinks. I hope they'll start performing ASAP in order to bring even more glory to this amazing Squadron of ours and blahblahblahblahblah... I have already provided them their very first Chalquilla crate as well as one my classic anti-racoons rattle. More info about them on their TC profiles and if you mail them with the proper bribe.

V Your very own CMDR earned 1st!! position for The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet on the July XWA Week of War with the only help of that smelly 1337 commanding Praetorian, LC Dirty Vader!! Yes, AGAIN. But to be fair you must know that it was DV who ranked 1st player overall!! (damnit :-P) Did I already tell you how I'd like to have some of you helping us there? . Take [MP/2] and [AMP] IWATS Courses, participate on my IWATS competition (still 4 IS-GRs for IWATS roadrunners to grab there!!), get your training on our weekly MP competitions and join the NRSD "Errant Venture" for some Rebel Kicking action!!! LoCs mean FCHG points... and they're cool... what are you waiting for to earn some?

V So you don't hate me enough already for talking about myself on these two last reports? Ok, let me try again: your very own CMDR® won both TIE and XWA divisions of July "Challenge Top Gun" competition so you'll notice yet another bollocks-title at his IDline in no time :-P. Congrats also from here to CM Dempsey, Inferno CMDR and former Cyclone FL (a hell of a pilot indeed), who earned 2nd position for herself. And now comes the bitter question: what are you waiting for (whatareyouwating forwhatareyouwatingfor) to kick ass at this Wing-level monthly competition? I didn't recieve a single submission from any of you to participate... ):F

V Bad stuff... Doom!! Doom!! And not from ID software guys this time. Captain Bjorn Wolfblade, Cyclone 1-3, has been AWOLed due to complete lack of communications since... since... I can't rememeber but it's more than a month for sure. As he was a moderate active pilot, not to mention a secure value for my hosted MP competitions, I wonder what could have happened to him... actually I'm very concerned. If any of you has some info about him I'd be grateful to know about. :-\

V Extra!!!! Extra!!!! Vertigo promoted to full Lieutenant after taking a couple of IWATS Courses with excellent scores! Our most sincere congrats upon you, Lieutenant!


( Ummm... with such a nice number of news entries this week it's not necessary to use some of my NUTS "Spoilers" this time... emmm... errr... (*arf*)... (*gasp*)... I can't... I can-not... yaaaargh!!... Ok, I couldn't stand it. Just a couple. :__P )


V "Millenium Falcon Tours" opens again its comercial season!! Captain Solo and his assistant "The Living Carpet" have released an interesting pack of vacations offers. Buy your passage for whatever system you want TODAY and you'll be awarded an Imperial Court + Execution in no time under charges of: high treason, espionage, conspiracy, traspassing a maximum security Imperial installation, freeing a known criminal, escaping from a maximum security Imperial installation and destroying Imperial property. And they also give Corellian candies for free... An offer you just CAN'T refuse!!

U EH Science Office has finally repaired the "black box" containing the last internal transmissions from SSD Executor! Now this is all an accomplishment! Many Zero-G troopers have died to bring here this information®... And behold! Fleet Admiral Den Darkhill himself provided me a transcription of those transmissions. Let me forward the REAL last one to you:

<Admiral Piett (survived after the A-Wing onslaught! True story!)> BWHAHAHAHA!!! The bridge went to hell but we finally vaped that bloody A-Wing!! Hurry up! Let's deck with the Death Star to report about!...


( And no, this time was not Lieutenant Colonel Tempest fault. But blame on him anyway because he's still a Sov and just for the sake of it!! xD )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R Flight III Leader position STILL open for applications!! If any of you is thinking about applying I'll trust him/her if he/she tells me he/she will do well, but ANY of you will need to perform much better under those new levels of responsability. Let's face it: current activity is just not enough to justify a FL position among you. Up to you!! And later don't say I didn't give you the opportunity! :-P

R Just for you to know and rejoyce, it seems LT Vertigo and SL Verde are already on the run!! The first trying to fix some trouble with EHBL in order to start flying and the second already flying as hell and even asking me for some flying tips to improve his scores!! Please, help them all you can if they contact you and stop the robbering on their poor SL/LT payments. The rest of you have already enough booze on your account, damnit!! xD

Q You have new editions of all Squadron-level competitions for this month, my beloved ISs greedy vultures. Check below and also at the Squadron website, "Competitions" section. Isn't it wonderful that last month I could only award 1!!! of the 11 shinies available for grabs among you? Well, if you just want to free me from some stress I really appreciate your efforts but trying to kick "arses" into activity 24/7 is not exactly my idea of relaxation... ):-I

Q Captain Dent, Colonel Ayanami, long time has passed since I heard from you last time. If you don't want to be the chosen to find what happened with Captain Wolfblade thus following his same way I'd appreciate some communication from you... May I have a single e-mail from you, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? >:-J

R Yet another weekly Cyclone website update. Same as usual: any complaints e-mailed to me along with the proper bribe and bottle. No refunds, just some bone-kicking mania and bad stuff on my part.


II.a) Squadron Competitions

P Cyclone Pilot of the Month August '07 - September '07
Details HERE
The classic competition established by our own LC Beir on its newest edition. I won't participate so YOU KNOW what to do!!

O Cyclone Student of the Month August '07 - September '07
Details HERE
Because here we also learn... slackering at least

N Cyclone über-1337 of the Month August '07 - September '07 (NOT approved yet but the XO promised me to do it)
Details HERE
This is to boost MP activity so go and fly or else!! >:F

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Monthly Art and Literature Award #1
Details HERE
Wing Commander Angel wants us to write, draw... maybe even to learn Origami! Write something for him before he decides to blackmail us to learn about the Ceremony of Tea!!
This month's subject is: (*drumroll*) The promotion of RA Darklord to COM and COL Angel to WC.

L Challenge Top Gun #1
Details HERE
A whole month to fly 2 FREE missions hunting highscores... the best excuses for not flying them will be awarded a rabid Ewok fencing a pitchfork!!
This month's sorties are: TIE-FREE 111 & XWA-FREE 41

L Wing X Pilot of the Week #1
Details HERE
And here we have again the classic Wing X PotW/PotM!! But behold! This time it's a strictly flying one and the Iron Stars come with wings and not ribbons. FLY!! Fly as hell and don't even think why are you doing so and you may get IS-SWs/IS-BWs, a broken joystick and a brand new mental disorder. 3 for the prize of 1!! :D

L Name my Planet
Details HERE
CM Dempsey, Inferno CMDR, has come with this interesting competition about SW knowlege. Go and get some Ribbons! Too bad I can't even remember what MY own planet was... let's hope somebody blew up it in time to prevent other guys like me to abandon it!

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L A Mission lasts 15 mins... a "Kill" lasts Forever!!
Details HERE
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! I want all you fighting in the Arena within 2 months! And if you use some of your precious time to try and learn something you may get even an IS-GR because I say so. See? I toss shinies, train future opponents and you expand your IDline: everybody happy!

L Build that mission!
Details HERE
Commander Dempsey is still looking for a capable guy to hit the 100% in TM/3. Go and teach her what you're capable of!

I Fury of the Emperor's Hammer Run-On
Details HERE
I haven't read it yet so why don't you do something for me? Help them to make it interesting enough so I'll have fun when I'll finally read it!

H Friday's Vaping Rhapsody (Multiplayer!!)
My own hosted MP competition! Played on #ehcoo every Friday from 12:30 EST to 15:30 EST. Either XvT, XWA, FW or IA matches and DFCs available for those skillful enough to get one!

G TIE Corps Capital Brawl (Multiplayer!!)
Hosted by LC Stryker every Wednesday on #ehcoo from 14:00 EST to 19:00 EST. Exclusive FW Multiplayer competition involving capital ships matches. DFCs up for grabs and bribes.

F TIE Corps Training (Multiplayer!!)
Exactly the same as my own competition but hosted also by LC Stryker it happens every Saturday on #ehcoo from 13:00 EST to 16:00 EST.

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Awarded 2 MoIs
  • Awarded MoC-BoC
  • Awarded IS-BW
  • Awarded 2 IS-SWs
  • Awarded 15 LoCs
  • Awarded DFC


1-2 LT Vertigo

  • Platform Daedalus ---> Cyclone 1-2 (FM)
  • Promotion!! Sub-Lieutenant ---> Lieutenant


1-3 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

  • Cyclone 1-3 ---> AWOL. Palpatine knows where but I'd like to know it too I tell you... :-\


2-2 SL Verde

  • Platform Daedalus ---> Cyclone 2-2 (FM)

III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Awarded 2 MoIs for assisting training of SL Verde and SL Vertigo.
  • Started contact with new Cyclone pilots.
  • Completed TIE-TC 2,3,4,5,7,8 (again) (34 missions).
  • Completed TIE-FREE 52-110 & 112-151 & 153-191 & 193-235 & 237-246 & 248-252 & 255-256 (198 missions).
  • Compiled my first MSE!!!
  • Submitted new editions of my 3 monthly Squadron competitions for approval.
  • Awarded MoC-BoC for correct answers on "Roster Fact Hunt II".
  • Completed Dreamweaver [DW] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Awarded IS-BW as Wing X Pilot of the Week.
  • Awarded 2 IS-SWs as Challenge Top Gun TIE/XWA of July.
  • Graded [MP/2] IWATS.
  • Awarded 12 LoCs on XWA Week of War XCVII.
  • Awarded 3 LoCs on "Friday's Vaping Rhapsody"
  • Awarded DFC on "Friday's Vaping Rhapsody"
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone website.

1-2 LT Vertigo

  • Joins the Fleet assigned as Cyclone 1-2
  • Managed to get mIRC working and joined EH channels for the first time.
  • Trying to fix a problem with EHBL...
  • Passed [M/1] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Passed [M/2] IWATS Course - 90%
  • Promoted to Lieutenant
  • Excellent e-mail activity and some IRC activity.

1-3 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade

  • AWOL you are, Captain. But know that I'd like to hear from you soon. You'll have a spot here if you decide to return to activity again.

2-1 LC Kadon Beir

  • Contacts the Wing again from Japan.
  • Trying to get a decent connection and to get his RL uppers out of his back.
  • Good e-mail activity.

2-2 SL Verde

  • Joins the Fleet assigned as Cyclone 2-2
  • Splendid e-mail activity.

3-2 COL Rei Ayanami

  • No activity. Colonel, I promise you to take some sanity medical treatment if you just send me a &·$& ~¬#@¬~ mail!!

3-3 CPT Bodo Dent

  • Playing F.E.A.R. yet again, Captain? You need a torch? >:)

3-4 LCM Godo Nurok

  • No news from LCM Nurok this week. Good luck on your RL issues!!

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. For Flight Leaders: I want your weekly reports on Fridays if possible. It's not mandatory but... it's better to not take risks...


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


At Cyclone Squadron Ready Room (if you look closely you'll notice this is actually the Wing X Cantina, maybe the same "Ready Room" for all the rest Chal's Squadrons but we won't pay attention to rumours, will we? (*hic*))...

<CM Zós> So you, guys... on you I place my best hopes for Cyclone to regain its former glory. Cyclone is a name which you WANT to be reckoned with!! So far, now that you have left Daedalus rustiness there where it belongs, you're ready to start performing and that's why we are here. You'll learn here the very basis of Rebel pwnage and the pleasures of the Daze Side of the Booze®©.

Sub-Lieutenants Vertigo and Verde stand in front of the rest of Cyclone Squadron (or is it actually a "picture" of the rest of Cyclone Squadron? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference). With their new shiny SL rank badges (they're pretty useless though: if they do something, we'll need to change those badges immediately and otherwise nobody will give a damn for their rank) still fresh in their new uniforms they hear their CMDR's words and pay attention to whatever they can get from there (as he's no other than Zósite prolly it will be a terrible headache and maybe a free access clearance for the M/FRG Faith, the Medical Frigate).

<SL Vertigo> Indeed, Sir! We're ready to start flying for the glory! Just tell us about our first assignment. >:-J

<SL Verde> Those stupid Anarchists will regret the very day they were born!! I feel today even like vaping a Rebel Cruiser on my own. >.-D

<CM Zós> Excellent! Most excellent! Lt. Colonel Beir, please, provide them the Cyclone Agenda for today. ^_^

Cyclone Flight II Leader gives the new recruits a couple of big folders. Some words in basic can be read on them, something like "Cyclone learning seasons, Zos' Style" (Magnifying glass action: "Cyclone learning seasons, Zos' Style"). But alas! it seems LC Beir is muttering something...

<LC Beir> Poor souls... -__-U

<SL Verde> Did you say something, Sir?

<LC Beir> ... nothing... just wondering about that sunny day out there... (:S

As both SLs look through the viewport trying to find the sunny day among Aurora Prime system's stars, Commander Zósite opens his own copy of the folder and waits for his new Cyclonites to do the same. A minute later a glimpse of terror and despair appears over the faces of Vertigo and Verde.

<SL Vertigo> But! But! What's this, Sir? Did you give us by error the standing orders for ALL the Fleet in upcoming months?!! O__Ou

<SL Verde> Vape 10 MC-80s, capture 6 Golan III platforms, punish a pirate fleet featuring Victory-class Star Destroyers, eradicate 6 A-Wing Squadrons plus 2 of captured TIE Defenders, delete from the sky the planetary defenses of some New Republic Prision Planet, develope at least 4 different tactical strategies to regain Coruscant and try to fool Grand Admiral Astatine to BSF our pilot files?!! :___D

Commander Styles closes his folder and looks at the newest Wing X Cantina booze supply crates with greed.

<CM Zós> Yeeeeees... pretty simple, isn't it? After the dinner we'll start with some serious stuff... >.D---------

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)


Executor [EXCR] (3000 points) & Top Ace 3rd (300 points)

[3678] & [346] CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Vertigo

Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[501] & [3] LC Kadon Beir

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Verde

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[123] & [31] COL Rei Ayanami

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[85] & [2] CPT Bodo Dent

Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & No rank (0 points)

[196] & [0] LCM Godo Nurok

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Vertigo
3) TBA
4) TBA

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CM Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Vertigo
3) TBA
4) TBA

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LC Kadon Beir
2) SL Verde
3) TBA
4) TBA

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) TBA
2) COL Rei Ayanami
3) CPT Bodo Dent
4) LCM Godo Nurok

Squadron Citations (8):
   XvT-TC Battle 4 - Encounter with the Black Sun
   XvT-TC Battle 12 - Odin's Redemption
   XvT-TC Battle 14 - Orion Base Crisis
   XvT-TC Battle 20 - Mysterious People
   XvT-TC Battle 21 - Project X: the T-65C A2 project
   XvT-TC Battle 22 - Rebel Cargo
   XvT-TC Battle 24 - Princess Tatoka's Meeting
   XvT-TC Battle 32 - Wing XIV: WC Trouble

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/CM Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SSx2/BSx6/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-21BW-24BR-8SW-5SR-14GW-1GR/LoC-RS-TS-Rx1/DFC-BW-Rx4/MoC-7BoC-1SoC-1GoC-1PoC/CoB [EXCR]

Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07 / Challenge Top Gun of July TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."