D Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #6 C

August 11, MMVII


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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >


Welcome to this, my sixth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Something's wrong here... Everybody is coming here asking for an assignment recently and now I have a nearly full Squadron to manage. Let's see... Who the hell told you about those pretty Imperial nurses? You have been fooled, gentlemen; the EH Medical Staff was decommissioned long time ago (they realized we are hopeless you see)! Hehe... well, now you are here, I'm your CMDR and...


/me kicks a poor protocol droid on the chest and throws it through the airlock

Please know all of you that from next Monday and until September (you'll know the exact date as soon as I know too) I'll be on some sort of semi-LoA. That means I'll only be available on Fridays and Saturdays and completely out of reach on any other day. That means you'll need to be patient for your stuff to be processed, not to mention for your mails to be answered... Terrible, I know, but you can always contact LC Kadon Beir, Flight II Leader, or Colonel Maverick, Flight III Leader, for some help within the week, or Colonel Angel himself if you need some pilot file to be processed immediately. Of course I'll try to keep my WSRs and MSE in time as well as to host my MP competition on Fridays. You'll recieve more info on the subject as soon as I mail the whole Wing and the flags about just before going out. But I want all of you active! Active, do ya hear me?!! ACTIVE and demolishing hopes around! You have a name to be reckoned with and a Squadron where you will bring glory!! >.-D

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)


V New blood? Did I say new blood? Here you have yet another motivated pilot joining us directly from Platform Daedalus. And far from being a newbie he has already proven his MP skills in a couple of Weeks of War, and there was where Lieutenant Colonel Dirty Vader recruited him due to his splendid performance! Now the Praetorian CMDR has put me in charge of his training until he reachs Commander rank and I can guess where will he go later. But for the time being... please provide a classic drunk welcome involving unnecessary havoc to SL Lvpps, who joins the Fleet assigned as Cyclone 1-3!!

V Stop the machinery, lady and gentlemen!!! Another, we have another!!! But this time is not a Daedalus Cadet but all a Fleet Admiral, who was already done of performing from the M/FRG Phoenix. When he realized he needed to send his stuff to the Flight Officer himself he thought twice. I mean: you know the bribe in order to get something from me and maybe you'll be able to guess the necessary bribe to change some Wing Commander's mind. And what about the amount to put a Commodore at your side? Ok, now just try to imagine what would you need for the TIE Corps Commander himself!! Yeah, right... please provide a warm welcome to this 11 years veteran and former ISD Challenge Commodore, Fleet Admiral Maverick, who takes Cyclone 3-1 Flight Leader spot as Colonel Maverick!!

V No way!!! I'm going to start requesting access clearance to join Cyclone or we'll be full in no time! Not necessary to say it will be me who will sell such clearances for an exorbitant price. All for the glory of Cyclone and what not... ¬_¬ (*ahem*) Well, the fact is that here we have yet another (YES, ANOTHER) Cyclonite among us. Sub-Lieutenant Kraxian Oxxysk joins the Fleet from Platform Daedalus on his first assignment as Cyclone 2-3!! Show him the pleasures of being a worthy Challengite on my behalf!... ? ... NOOO!!! The drinks are still on him. Get out of MY wallet!!!

V Verde and Kraxian promoted to full Lieutenants!! Congrats on your well deserved promotions, guys. It's obvious someone told you about our policy of shooting Sub-Lieutenants on sight if they manage to keep such a "rank" for more than a few days.

/me looks at SL Lvpps...

Yeah, right... excellent work!!! Keep it on and enjoy the Daze Side of the Booze with us!!!

V Aaaaaargh!!!! Your very own weekly nightmare (let's call it CMDR) has been promoted to Captain!! No way in hell! What those higher ups have in their flag heads anyway? But if I didn't use the reglamentary BlasTech nor the Parrot Jokes Menace® this month. Oh, well... I'm not a NUTS Commander² anymore... :____D More info on the subject on the insanity-mail I submitted recently to the whole Wing involving the true story about my promotion.

V The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet has a Training Officer again!! Vice Admiral Astin climbed there using from the classic selective assassination way and decided to provide us with a huge EH-wide competition: Training Office Triathlon. See the details HERE and also below at the "Competitions" section. As soon as he realized the overall slackering, instead of sending all to hell and retire himself to some forgotten planet plotting against us forever he decided to put there IS-GWs and IS-GRs for grabs! Not to mention the famous and distinguished "TO's Own" title for the ship which scores best on the comp. Is it necessary to say that I want ALL OF YOU flying your "arses" off and taking IWATS as if there's no tomorrow in order for the mighty ISD Challenge to get the title? You know what to do pilots, and your superiors will know how to reward you for your efforts (not me, I'm mad and I tend to award anti-racoons rattles, security duty-belts and all sorts of useless stuff ;-P).


( NUTS "Spoilers" this time? Let's try to be serious... If anyone asks me for them with so much CMDR-hell upon me nowadays I'll train my "Put a heavy rocket into that starfighter" technique just a little more >:F )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)


R The Squadron is "overbooking"!!! We're nearly full, lady and gentlemen! And I'm happy, happy and busy. Now let's work for Cyclone to achieve even more glory. Let's make everybody there call ourselves "an elite Squadron" for our own rights even when we're not supposed to be such a n00b thing! >:-J

R Captain Dent, Colonel Ayanami... ... ... (*sigh*) May I have I mail from you, damnit?!! Maybe you'll understand what I've been asking you for weeks on "Aurabesh". It involves communicating with me at last, what else? -__-U

Q Yet another weekly Cyclone website update. Same as usual: any complaints e-mailed to me along with the proper bribe and bottle. And given the amount of stuff I had to include there this time a "Glenfiddich" is in order. Anything less would mean a pissed off CMDR dooming on you 'till the Fleet Commander starts flying MP again.

Q And here you have the current status of our Squadron-level competitions. I won't participate in any of them, don't panic! xP Just for you to know what are you going into:

Cyclone Pilot of August '07 - September '07

LT Vertigo - 62 missions
LT Verde - 21 missions
COL Maverick - 16 missions (he has more missions at the Kill Board, but the rest were flown when he was not assigned here yet)
LT Kraxian Oxxysk - 5 missions

Cyclone Student of August '07 - September '07

LT Vertigo - 7 IWATS Courses
LT Kraxian Oxxysk - 3 IWATS Courses

Cyclone über-1337 of August '07 - September '07

Still no entries although I can understand that going into the MP thingy can be very tricky at its beginnings... Good luck anyway!


II.a) Squadron Competitions

P Cyclone Pilot of the Month August '07 - September '07
Details HERE
The classic competition established by our own LC Beir on its newest edition. I won't participate so YOU KNOW what to do!!

O Cyclone Student of the Month August '07 - September '07
Details HERE
Because here we also learn... slackering at least

N Cyclone über-1337 of the Month August '07 - September '07
Details HERE
This is to boost MP activity so go and fly or else!! >:F

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

L Monthly Art and Literature Award #1
Details HERE
Wing Commander Angel wants us to write, draw... maybe even to learn Origami! Write something for him before he decides to blackmail us to learn about the Ceremony of Tea!!
This month's subject is: (*drumroll*) The promotion of RA Darklord to COM and COL Angel to WC.

L Challenge Top Gun #1
Details HERE
A whole month to fly 2 FREE missions hunting highscores... the best excuses for not flying them will be awarded a rabid Ewok fencing a pitchfork!!
This month's sorties are: TIE-FREE 111 & XWA-FREE 41

L Wing X Pilot of the Week #1
Details HERE
And here we have again the classic Wing X PotW/PotM!! But behold! This time it's a strictly flying one and the Iron Stars come with wings and not ribbons. FLY!! Fly as hell and don't even think why are you doing so and you may get IS-SWs/IS-BWs, a broken joystick and a brand new mental disorder. 3 for the prize of 1!! :D

L Name my Planet
Details HERE
CPT Dempsey, Inferno CMDR, has come with this interesting competition about SW knowlege. Go and get some Ribbons! Too bad I can't even remember what MY own planet was... let's hope somebody blew up it in time to prevent other guys like me to abandon it!

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

L Training Office Triathlon
Details HERE
Vice Admiral Astin, EH Training Officer, has the Gold über powah®©!! The "powah" of awarding you up to IS-GWs and IS-GRs. You have to study! You have to write fiction! You have to fly, Peter! (*cough*) Whatever for you to earn such a great shinies and also to help your own ship, the mighty Challenge, to be called "TO's Own", a title that we DEFINITELY deserve! Go and demolish, my minions!!

L A Mission lasts 15 mins... a "Kill" lasts Forever!!
Details HERE
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! I want all you fighting in the Arena within 2 months! And if you use some of your precious time to try and learn something you may get even an IS-GR because I say so. See? I toss shinies, train future opponents and you expand your IDline: everybody happy!

L Build that mission!
Details HERE
Captain Dempsey is still looking for a capable guy to hit the 100% in TM/3. Go and teach her what you're capable of!

I Fury of the Emperor's Hammer Run-On
Details HERE
I haven't read it yet so why don't you do something for me? Help them to make it interesting enough so I'll have fun when I'll finally read it!

H Friday's Vaping Rhapsody (Multiplayer!!)
My own hosted MP competition! Played on #ehcoo every Friday from 12:30 EST to 15:30 EST. Either XvT, XWA, FW or IA matches and DFCs available for those skillful enough to get one!

G TIE Corps Capital Brawl (Multiplayer!!)
Hosted by COL Stryker every Wednesday on #ehcoo from 14:00 EST to 19:00 EST. Exclusive FW Multiplayer competition involving capital ships matches. DFCs up for grabs and bribes.

F TIE Corps Training (Multiplayer!!)
Exactly the same as my own competition but hosted also by COL Stryker it happens every Saturday on #ehcoo from 13:00 EST to 16:00 EST.

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes


1-1 CPT Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Promotion!! Commander ---> Captain
  • Awarded MoI
  • Awarded MoC-BoC
  • Awarded 3 LoCs


1-2 LT Vertigo

  • Awarded The Commendation of Bravery
  • Awarded IS-BW


1-3 SL Lvpps

  • Platform Daedalus ---> Cyclone 1-3 (FM)


2-2 LT Verde

  • Promotion!! Sub-Lieutenant ---> Lieutenant


2-3 LT Kraxian Oxxysk

  • Platform Daedalus ---> Cyclone 2-3 (FM)
  • Promotion!! Sub-Lieutenant ---> Lieutenant


3-1 COL Maverick

  • M/FRG Phoenix ---> Cyclone 3-1 (FL)
  • Pro... "Demotion"!! Fleet Admiral ---> Colonel ( Yeah, right... the bad side of returning to the line ranks :-P )

III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )


1-1 CPT Zósite Kónstyte Styles

  • Completed TIE-FREE 231 and XWA-FREE 67
  • Graded [AMP] and [XML] IWATS.
  • Promoted to Captain!! BWHAHAHAHA!!!
  • Managing tons of appointments, new recruits' mailing and stuff...
  • Completed XWA-FREE 41 (Mission highscore!)
  • Completed TIE-TC 182 (5 missions)
  • Completed XvT-TC 105 (5 missions) (Highscore in mission 4!)
  • Completed BoP-TC 21 (6 missions) (Highscores in missions 2,5,6!)
  • Awarded MoI for assisting training of SL Kraxian Oxxysk.
  • Completed TIE-TC 1 (Yes, YET AGAIN).
  • Completed TIE-FREE 152, 257-261 (6 missions).
  • Completed XvT-FREE 1-16, 18-95 (94 missions).
  • Awarded MoC-BoC for communications activity on July.
  • Awarded 3 LoCs on "Friday's Vaping Rhapsody"
  • Compiled WSR.
  • Updated Cyclone website.

1-2 LT Vertigo

  • Completed XvT-TC 1-7, 9-14 (62 missions!!!)
  • Awarded The Commendation of Bravery!
  • Passed [TTT] IWATS Course - 95%
  • Passed [BFM] IWATS Course - 89%
  • Passed [XWAC] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Passed [XvT] IWATS Course - 98%
  • Passed [WPN] IWATS Course - 85%
  • Awarded IS-BW for Cyclone Pilot of the Week.
  • Excellent e-mail activity!

1-3 SL Lvpps

  • Joins the Fleet assigned as Cyclone 1-3.
  • Good e-mail activity.

2-1 LC Kadon Beir

  • Still fighting against hellish wireless conns in Japan...
  • Good e-mail activity and he joined again #tiecorps for a while!

2-2 LT Verde

  • Completed TIE-TC 1,3,182 and TIE-FREE 218 (17 missions).
  • Promoted to Lieutenant!
  • Completed XWA-TC 1 (4 missions)
  • Very good e-mail activity.

2-3 LT Kraxian Oxxysk

  • Joins the Fleet assigned as Cyclone 2-3
  • Joins #tiecorps and #wing_x for the first time!
  • Completed TIE-TC 1 (5 missions)
  • Promoted to Lieutenant!
  • Passed [M/1] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Passed [M/2] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Passed [ICQ] IWATS Course - 100%
  • Excellent IRC activity!

3-1 COL Maverick

  • Returns from the M/FRG Phoenix to take Cyclone 3-1 FL position
  • Completed BoP-TC 21 (6 missions)
  • Completed XWA-DB 2 and XvT-DB 2 (10 missions)
  • Splendid e-mail activity and outstanding IRC activity!

3-2 COL Rei Ayanami

  • ... ):-| ...

3-3 CPT Bodo Dent

  • ... ):-| ...

3-4 LCM Godo Nurok

  • No news from LCM Nurok this week either. Good luck on your RL issues, but if you could send me an e-mail I'd appreciate it I tell you!!

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

  1. Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
  2. Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
  3. Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
  4. Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
  5. Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
  6. For Flight Leaders: I want your weekly reports on Fridays if possible. It's not mandatory but... it's better to not take risks...


Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)


At Cyclone Ready Room, the new brand "overbooked" Cyclone Squadron in full, 10 skillful and motivated pilots as dangerous for themselves as they're are for everybody else, assists to its CMDR briefing (let's call it Wing X Cantina and Palpatine knows where the briefing holo-screen came from... the current Flight Office is here too anyway, some tables ahead). But behold! It's curious: all the "enemy" ships seem pretty familiar for "The Demolition Crew".

<CPT Zós> So the tactical situation could turn Delta Sierra anytime you see. Flight II will concentrate fire upon Imperial-class Star Destroyer Subjugator's shield generator domes to provide a chance for my own Flight I against the hull itself using rockets on vector 13-43-7. Are your pilots ready, Lieutenant Colonel Beir?

<LC Beir> Always, Zós, but...

<CPT Zós> Excellent!! Of course we'll be covered by Flight III as soon as they're done with Red and Green Squadrons. With almost all the Redemption's starfighter support out of the game we'll be free to confront the Sub's fighters with calm, but remember we'll still have the Blue guys on our tail 24/7 so stay sharp and watch your six.

<LT Vertigo> With all my respects, Sir, the point is that...

<CPT Zós> I know, Lieutenant. You're going to ask me about the possibility of the DGN Lichtor V and its fearful Praetorian Squadron showing up there to reinforce them. But don't worry, there's where the double load of advanced concussion missiles on Flight III Defenders comes in. Colonel Maverick, do you think you'll be able to give us some minutes while we're still vaping the Sub's fighters? Know that the danger upon "The Gale Providers" while opposing those TIE Praetors alone will be very high!

<COL Maverick> Dunno, maybe, but have you ever thought that to go against an elite TIE Corps Squadron would be...

<CPT Zós> Suicidal with the Lichtor V itself fully operational to support them? Yeah... But please remember that our Missile Boats have a warhead ordnance perfectly capable to crush it down from several clicks away and even join the dogfight later using advanced missiles!

<LT Verde> I must admit, Sir, that I'm somewhat lost... what about the...?

<CPT Zós> Ahahahahaha!!! Exactly! "What about the Big One?" you're going to ask... Ahh, the biggest piece of the cake! We'll bring our weapons into the SSSD Sovereign soon after the Subjugator is deleted from the sky. And now let me explain you the strategy we'll use to get Wing VI out of our back in order to do this.

<LT Oxxysk> Emmm... Sir, may I have your attention for just a minute before the briefing continues? Pleeeease?

<CPT Zós> (*sigh*) ¬_¬... Ok, what is it, Lieutenant?

<LT Oxxysk> Well, sorry for my insolence but... but... what about THE NEW REPUBLIC?!!

Captain Zósite gets his jar from the nearby table and does his best for it to be empty before talking again. High in the drinks, you say? Maybe but I hardly doubt that would mean any difference.

<CPT Zós> ...

<Cyclone Squadron - {CPT Zós}> ...

<CPT Zós> Republic? What Republic? Never heard about that ship before.

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)


Executor [EXCR] (3000 points) & Top Ace 3rd (300 points)

[3793] & [349] CPT Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Hussar [HUSS] (50 points) & No rank (0 points)

[63] & [0] LT Vertigo

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Lvpps

Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[501] & [3] LC Kadon Beir

Grenadier [GREN] (10 points) & No rank (0 points)

[21] & [0] LT Verde

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[5] & [0] LT Kraxian Oxxysk

Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & No rank (0 points)

[183] & [0] COL Maverick

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[123] & [31] COL Rei Ayanami

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Trainee (1 point)

[85] & [2] CPT Bodo Dent

Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & No rank (0 points)

[196] & [0] LCM Godo Nurok

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

COMMANDER: CPT Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CPT Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Vertigo
3) SL Lvpps
4) TBA

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

COMMANDER: CPT Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=101

Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) CPT Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Vertigo
3) SL Lvpps
4) TBA

Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LC Kadon Beir
2) LT Verde
3) LT Kraxian Oxxysk
4) TBA

Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) COL Maverick
2) COL Rei Ayanami
3) CPT Bodo Dent
4) LCM Godo Nurok

Squadron Citations (5):
   TIE-TC Battle 1 - Capture of Zaarin
   XvT-TC Battle 4 - Encounter with the Black Sun
   XvT-TC Battle 12 - Odin's Redemption
   XvT-TC Battle 14 - Orion Base Crisis
   XWA-TC Battle 1 - Avenger Encounter

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/CPT Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SSx2/BSx6/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-21BW-24BR-8SW-5SR-14GW-1GR/LoC-RS-TS-Rx4/DFC-BW-Rx4/MoC-8BoC-1SoC-1GoC-1PoC/CoB [EXCR]

Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07 / Challenge Top Gun of July TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."