Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #26

October 6, MMVIII

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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore Angel and last but not least Flight Officer Jarek La'an >

Welcome to this, my twenty-sixth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Well, people, another week, another BIG-FAT dose of motivation for everybody to carry on as it's meant to be! Despite the overall chaos... against all odds... against all common sense and the most basic rules of entrophy...

CYCLONE IS GROWING!! o__O

But it's true! Even when it's obvious some people here have decided to perform some sort of mime orgy and remain as active and talkative as that rebel scumbag Solo when that bitc... err... former Imperial Senate member told him some other face-disfigured dude was her brother, this mighty Squadron, pride of the Fleet as "TCCOM's Own" (shame of the Galaxy though), keeps gathering pilots from here and there in its eternal struggle to sink Cyclone Quarters a couple of decks below within The Chal!

And as if that wouldn't be enough we have just had yet another big change here while I was writting this very report regarding CPT Vertigo's LoA. Noooo... those Ewok drones didn't manage to eat him after all (underperforming furry bastards... ¬¬), but I'm sure you'll want to check out this one. (:-\

But keep reading, keep reading and you'll be able to realize the bitter truth for yerselves... and on top of all that, my classic NUTS way of doing things and pointless way of writing bollocks at yer service, as usual. ^_^

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)

As you all can see, I'm finally back from LoA. And what did I find on my return? I found 90% of you have been performing like Jim Henson's muppets while I was not around and Colonel Domi, our Wing Commander, told me he hasn't recieved a single thing from any of you in all this time. Then I forward you a formal request for your activity reports and to date I've only recieved answer from 1. 1... from 10!!!! (*sigh*) Gentlemen... gentlemen... do you really think this way we will be able to mantain our mighty "TCCOM's Own" title for too long? Isn't it a shame for you that the most populated and one of the most respected and admired Squadrons in all the Fleet nowadays has the same levels of communication as a pair of tombstones? Is it so difficult to get your keyboard and write me a couple of lines, even if it's to tell me you decided to not do a damned thing until we have a new database ready or something? Oh well... as you wish, but given the current situation my ranting is over and I have only 3 words left to forward you on this subject:

AWOL CHECK. SOON.

Once upon a time there was a Dan... the guy performed so excellent in what he did (basically providing trouble all around and punishing everybody else's ears with his neverending songs) that, still being the EH Flight Officer and TIE Corps Commander, he was granted the coveted rank of High Admiral thanks to all his hard work for this great club. But alas! Thinking that wasn't nearly enough for someone as pr0 as him, our little happy Dan decided to start blackmailing the Fleet Commander himself until Grand Admiral Cyric made him his Executive Officer in order to have him much more nearer and be able to mantain a closer vigilance on such a dangerous creature. And from that very moment he was known as Sector Admiral Daniel Bonini, Executive Officer of The Emperor's Hammer! Feel free to toss him peanuts if necessary.

Ok, ok... I shut the hell up. Cyclone!! Please provide SA Dan your greatest congrats on his truly deserved (and wise) promotion. Now we have all a former Challengite up there and it's a matter of time 'The Sov' will be decomissioned and used as some fancy wreckage source for all sorts of reparations while the mighty 'Chal' is appointed as permanent headquarters of the Command Staff. Unstoppable I tell you! >.P

So you think we're finally free from the roster dude? Well, yes and no... because while SA Dan was renting a yellow paint can to make himself his new rank badge, yet another TC officer was found as deserving a BIG-FAT promotion/assignment long time overdue. Thus Fleet Admiral Jarek La'an, FO & TCCOM, was created using from the most twisted genetic engineer. Now he's our supreme commander, people, and you owe him the same obeyance and loyalty as you used to provide to Dan (oh, well, poor guy; offer him at least a little more than *THAT* :-P). Do I need to mention he's now also the top "protegee" of Cyclone Squadron as "TCCOM's Own"? Save your heavy rockets gents!! >;->

Links! Links everywhere!! The database disappeared, the fabric of space and time was broken and only links managed to survive! Now Links are your only way of accessing some of our old database functions and here I'll provide you with the most important ones so you can bookmark them immediately and start using them for your day to day operations until the new database is ready. Behold!!!

The Emperor's Hammer main site: http://www.emperorshammer.org/
The Emperor's Hammer Message Boards: http://eh.stryfe.net/ Don't forget to check out here every now and then!
TIE Corps """site""", basically the current Roster and that's it: http://www.rawlingsdesigns.com/tc/index.html
Mission Compendium & EHBL: http://tac.slayersrealm.com/base.php?page=11
Tactical Manual: http://tac.slayersrealm.com/base.php?page=5
Super XP Installer, EHSP ship patches and XWA S-Foils patch: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewtopic.php?f=49&t=108
Temporary IWATS Academy: http://www.chilastra.org/imperial/ Almost none Courses ready yet...
LC Tempest's website: http://tempestkappa.isdchallenge.org/ Your main source for Tempest Tailoring Tool (TTT) and many other goodies!
ISD Challenge website: http://isdchallenge.org
Cyclone Squadron website, OF COURSE!!: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org

And if you need any special ship patch apart from EHSP (A-9 Vigilance Interceptor, TIE Praetor... whatever) in order to play some battle/free mission, please don't hesitate to ask me or FA Anahorn Dempsey herself for it and it will be sent to you. And remember you can always contact anyone from the Command Staff if necessary using this easy formula:

<CS position>@emperorshammer.org

So TAC would be tac@emperorshammer.org, FO would be fo@emperorshammer.org, FC as fc@emperorshammer.org and so on... If you need any other officer's e-mail address just tell me who do you want to contact, and if you have a good reason to do so (no, murder and thieving NOT allowed dammit -__-U) I'll do as necessary for you to have such address. ^_^

TIE Golf 2008 has already begun!!! W0000000t!!!! :-D

Now it's too late to sign in for this splendid yearly competition where your skills can give you all an Iron Star with Platinum Wings. The Rules are HERE. And HERE you'll be able to find (as long as it's updated regularly) the current rankings. Ummm... taking a close look there I see that only LT H'Dey Omen, Cyclone 3-2, and myself are signed. Maybe this terrible fact is related to the poor announcing of this event which can "only" be found on each and every Cyclone WSR, Wing X WWR, ISD Challenge WSR and Flight Office Report from more than a month ago, not to mention Cyclone website "Competitions Section"...

Oh, well... at least wish us some luck there; we're going to need it. Let's go there, Lieutenant Omen!! We'll teach 'em how are used to deal with these things on Cyclone! Have you ever felt... like DEMOLISHING a golf field? >.-)

Then again, another of our roster spots gets filled to help in "The Demolition Crew" eternal struggle to take over the ship, the Fleet, the Galaxy and the overall sanity of you all! Please provide your best and drunkest welcome to Colonel Obi-Wan, who came back from the M/FRG Phoenix after quite a long retirement to fill Cyclone 1-4 spot! I wish you the best among the "Eye of the Storm" ranks, Colonel. Don't hesitate to come to me for anything you need and I'll give you a bottle. Feel free to come to my "Secret Destillery" near the reactor core, and if you manage to evade swarms of rabid drunk ewoks working there as my personal slaves, I'll give you a bottle. Any flying trouble? I'll give you a bottle. Do you need a new uniform? I'll give you a bottle. Would you like to be updated on current ship and/or Fleet events? I'll give you a bottle. Do you need a bottle? A BOTTLE YOU SAY?!!

I give you my welcome!!! Drinks are on us this time! :-D

And finally... listen up, people... (*sniff*) It's time for some tears here. With sorrow I cannot do anything but to announce that our CMDR, Captain Vertigo, won't return from his extended LoA after all. Nooooo, don't panic, those ewok drones didn't manage to kill him (dammit) and all they were turn into flaming furballs before even damaging the painting of his Missile Boat. But the fact is that our worst enemy ever, our true Nemesis, Real Life strikes back yet again and this time its anger had our poor CMDR as its target. Yeah, that's it... Captain Vertigo has needed to resign to Cyclone CMDR spot and even asked for his transfer to the Reserves due to the most heavy RL issues you can imagine (not pure tragedies thanks Palpatine). We're going to miss you here, Sir, and we hope you'll be able to find your way back soon. Not only because we'll be missing your crazyness onslaughts, unchained rage, senseless and illogical briefings and your annoying mania of gathering OUR booze and hide it from us for "historic purposes", but because your return would mean you have managed to fix all your RL trouble and RL shall always come first. Yeah... the bastard always comes first... -__-U

So that's it, cyclonites... and well... I'm pretty sure you'll now want to know who will be your next CMDR. Yeah, I know... I know... you don't give a damn. But you'll need some poor soul to send him your pilot files in order to get your mandatory doses of shiny stuff, won't you? Let alone having always someone available to steal booze from him; it comes with the job: a CMDR has usually a big Office, and in the Office a secret hidden place, and around the table a castle!! (ooops, sorry, Excalibur came to mind and... :-P) And in that secret hidden place a hidden secret stash, filled with quality booze for ye all. Yes, definitely you need a CMDR and you know it to be truth. Ok then, your flags have listened to your request and they granted you a new CMDR. Now go and check the current Squadron Roster at the end of this report...

And Face The Bitter Truth!!! >.-D

So you want to come to my Office and steal my alci you said? Indeed, welcome to MY OFFICE!! ^_^

( Spoilers... do I really deserve such a merciless punishment from ya? Ok, look HERE! Could you tell me who's that guy fencing the lightsaber?... Exactly!! He's no other than our own 'Palpy' with his good friend Plagueis having some private party on their own. So it seems he was young after all back in the day. Interesting, I was already thinking he was created from wrinkles alone as Vader was created from those silly midiclorians... :-P )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)

Well, well, my minions... how could I say this to you by the book and even then keep it as friendly as possible? Worth a try... It seems I'm in command again and none here has ever served under my command except CPT Vertigo himself and he's not here anymore... everybody who knows me could tell ya I'm usually top-friendly and an easy dude when coming to understand your reasons to remain inactive. They could also tell you I'm used to reccomend excellent merit awards for performing nice and that I have some nasty mania of making new Squadron-level flying competitions even on a weekly basis for you all to be able to fill your dress jackets with tons of senseless bronze wreckage; and not only that but they'll also be the best way for you to improve your flying skills 'cos you're... you know, pilots. They'll tell you that I'm dangerous. They'll tell you that I'm NUTS, MAJor NUTS (ever) actually... and finally they'll tell you that if there's something I HATE HATE HATE more than anything else it's not Peter Pan but the combination of Inactivity + Lack of Communication. To be honest, the only way I know to deal with such a nasty equation is AWOL (Absent WithOut Leave) status and trust me: I won't hesitate to use it if necessary... I wouldn't want to do so, but I'll do it if necessary and then I'll just forget you.

So far... soon you'll be asked to answer to an AWOL Check. It's basically a single e-mail you MUST answer in order for your superiors to know you're still there, not related to activity by any means but only to your willing to keep your current position within the active Roster. You'll be given a deadline to forward your answer. And if your answer doesn't arrive in time you'll be given a fancy AWOL. And trust me: you DON'T WANT an AWOL at your profile... It doesn't look nice. Now please tell me: is it so damned difficult to answer my requests for your activity reports? Is it so damned difficult to write me a couple of lines on a weekly basis? If any of these 2 questions makes you feel as answering 'yes', with all due respect, you don't belong to this great Squadron and the memory of those excellent officers who were filling the same spot you're filling today and worked so hard for Cyclone to reach the high levels of performance and recognition it had not so long ago. Soon you'll also recieve an e-mail from me on my Cyclone CMDR appointment. Answering it would be an excellent way to start doing things by the book. ;)

Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to Sector Admiral Bonini , Executive Officer, with the subject: "Sir, I have been considering some facts and I've come to an ominous conclusion... with all due respect, wouldn't you say that 'SA Dan' and 'Sadam' are too way similar to be fruit of randomness? DON'T LIE!!!"

Now... do you remember I told you to keep all your pilot files 'till we have a working database? Not anymore!!! Our happy-TACcy, Fleet Admiral Dempsey has come up with a method for us all to get credit for our flying stuff even in these dark times. You must send all your pilot files to your CMDR (me), as usual, and he (me) will be in charge of taking note of all them and forward them later to the new e-mail address the TAC has created for normal BSFing stuff, tacbsf@gmail.com. There she'll be able to keep them all, checking scores if necessary, and later enter all them into the new database herself as soon as it's ready. And now we even have a temporary "Kill Board": http://eh.stryfe.net/viewtopic.php?f=49&t=146!!! No MP Kill Board though... :-\

But remember, you must send your pilot files to your CMDR (me again) as usual; only him (who is like... me) shall forward them to that address. On the other hand this only applies to normal BSFing; if you're participating in some competition hosted by the TAC herself as "Match the TAC" or "TIE Golf" those pilot files must be sent directly to usual TAC's address (tac@emperorshammer.org or dempsey@slayersrealm.com). So now you've no more excuses to keep inactive flying-wise; go there and fly for Cyclone and the ISD Challenge!! At least a little... pleeeeeeaaaaseeeee...? :_P

II.a) Squadron Competitions

( Without the database don't expect ALL those "Details links" to work... but worth a try :-\ )

Storm Challenge (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED until I recieve CPT Crsepe's word about it.)
Details HERE
Thunder Squadron asked for mayhem... Acknowleged! Fly the missions! Get the HSs if you can! Write reports on how l33t were you while doing it! And show 'em that whenever somebody asks we about something we tend to add "...and kills us btw" to that something.

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

Wing X Pilot of the Week (There's no reason for it to remain suspended but I'm not sure. Just fly as much as you can! ;-))
Details HERE
As usual, gents! Our almighty WC, Colonel Domi, will award a bronze shinie in a weekly basis and a silver one per month to whoever demonstrates he's perfectly capable of making the rest of us looking as worse as possible. Fly missions, take IWATS, participate in other comps, drink... and well... drink. Everything counts! Especially to drink. :-D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

SP/MP Ace of the TIE Corps - September 2008 (Not sure about the MP division but SP definitely works)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself? And also a MP division! KILL everybody and feel proud for it!! IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

Training Office Recruiting Challenge (Technically available)
Details HERE
An IS-PR... I'm pretty sure many of you think that platinum stuff awardings are just legends and those who actually show such things on their dress uniforms have to pay a monthly fee to the FC himself for him to allow them to lie everybody on how they managed to compite for them. Ok, whatever you say, but whoever first manages to recruit 5! new members for this great club before deadline is in great danger of being awarded one of those. ;-)

TIE Golf 2008 (Signing up OVER)
Details HERE
Did you think the best way to play a mission was to score as much as possible. Think twice!! What? You think it to be silly? Ok, ok... then I'll just give back to FA Dempsey this IS-PW!! I rented it in order to show you what will be the maximum award... EJEM...

TAC's Best (October 2008) (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED)
Details HERE
The good thing about this one is that you don't need to actually do anything; just fly the best you can and if you manage to get some HSs you'll be in the good way for winning here! ;-D

Match the TAC #10
Details HERE
Check out the link above and you'll see. The objective? Easy... try to match TAC's score in that mission! And remember! For this one don't send your pilot files to your CMDR as usual; they must be sent directly to FA Dempsey and they'll be BSFd at the end of the month. If you fail in such an easy requirement Lady Dempsey will come to you by night with a vengeance and... no, wait, screw that!! *I*'ll come to you by night with a vengeance. >:F

TACcy Quotes
Details HERE
For this one you'll need to read each and every weekly TAC report and... Mmmm? Stop trying to hang yourselves dammit!! What's the problem?! You are right now reading this, right? Then you'll be able to read ANYTHING so shut the hell up you!! >:( Well, as I was telling you, read those reports, find the movie quote lying there and e-mail FA Dempsey as quickly as you can with your answer!

24/7 LoC weekly challenge (Multiplayer!!) (Keep sending your screenies to the COO but don't delete them 'till you get your LoCs just in case)
Details HERE
Never get yourself a DFC was more easy!! Forget all you may have learnt before! Now DFCs are actually awarded for "24/7LoCs" events using the same guidelines as for their classic awardings on hosted events. Kill 3 different people, rank the best player and blahblahblah... Your best bet I tell you! Quick, before someone actually realizes DFCs awarded this way are just too cheap to be truth. :-P

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes

1-1 CPT Vertigo

Cyclone 1-1 (Squadron Commander) ---> M/FRG Phoenix (Reservist) Sad but true... :-\

1-4 COL Obi-Wan

M/FRG Phoenix (Reservist) ---> Cyclone 1-4 (Flight Member)

3-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Cyclone 3-1 (Flight Leader) ---> Cyclone 1-1 (Squadron Commander)

III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )

1-1 CPT Vertigo <--- Ok, maybe not exactly "insane activity" but the poor FO couldn't believe it anyway...

Requested his transfer to the Reserves due to heavy RL issues. Farewell, Captain! We'll be missing you badly... :___D

1-2 LT Dalon Holtz x 100

(Still expecting any word from you, Lieutenant. |:-|)²

1-3 LT Reginald Q. Dork x 100

(The same as LT Holtz goes for ya. Come on, I'm not as wicked as they say. But I'm more wicked than two weeks ago...)²

1-4 COL Obi-Wan

Rejoined the active ranks from the M/FRG Phoenix as Cyclone 1-4!! Yay! :-D
Nice e-mail contact and splendid IRC activity!

2-1 LCM Ark-illos

Not a word from him since 2 weeks ago but he must be there... somewhere... lurking and waiting for... something... :-P Oh, come on, Ark! Cyclone needs you at your spot more than ever. Please write me at least a couple of lines!

2-3 LT Vitaru

A little inactive nowadays but still communicative.
Some MBs activity last week.

2-4 SL Psyntience x I have no number for ya... an Astrophysics PhD with no numbers, go figure...

I'm starting to think you're actually a clone of somebody who forgot to keep supporting it long ago... I'm pretty sure that if somebody looks for "AWOL" definition a pic of your character will be found as well...

3-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Return from LoA!! At last! Let's do something horrible here!! >:J
Reviewing last week e-mails and new stuff at the EH MBs.
Managed to install TIE-CD under WinXP. Now working perfectly thanks to LC Tempest's splendid guidelines!! :D
Reflown TIE-FREE 167 for "Wing Commander's Own" comp.
Reflown BoP-FREE 27 for "Wing Commander's Own" comp.
Reflown XWA-FREE 47 for "Wing Commander's Own" comp.
Finished last TCS assignment.
Reflown XW-FREE 10 for "Wing Commander's Own" comp.
Reflown XvT-FREE 127 for "Wing Commander's Own" comp.
Reflown TIE-FREE 53 for TIE Golf 2008.
Reflown TIE-FREE 170 for TIE Golf 2008.
Reported in for duty and contacted Cyclone Flight III for activity reports.
Participated in "Match the TAC" Oct-08 competition. Waiting for results.
Some little activity at the MBs. Classic idiocy, nothing important. :P
Compiled a-CMDR WSR!!
Heavy e-mail activity today! :P
Send in my try for "TACcy Quotes" on TAC report #282.
Appointed Cyclone CMDR!! Again!!! Aaaaaaargh!!! X__x
Updated Cyclone Site.

3-2 LT H'Dey Omen

Disappeared from the map 2 weeks ago... Lieutenant!! Where are you and your splendid activity?!

3-3 LT Kael Dalor

No word from him last week. Come on, LT Dalor! I'm sure we can still count on you! ;-)

3-4 SL Siriah Tan

Still testing her new battle with help from the TAC Office and also asking for everybody willing to give a helping hand to fly it for further testing.
She opened all a site for her activity reports at http://siriah.thewriteorder.com/! Outstanding!!
Submitted her FM weekly activity report in time.
Great e-mail activity and superb MBs activity! :-D

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
Contact your Flight Leader or Squadron Commander at least once a week!! This is BUT VERY important in order to mantain your arse within the roster. CMDR may well have the nasty mania of kicking mute people out of the airlock...
Be always loyal to the TIE Corps Fleet, then the ISD Challenge and Wing X, then Cyclone.
Kill any rebel scumb, dirty smuggler or pathetic pirate on sight and with a smile on your face. Cleaning 'da house!
Have fun doing all this stated above! Now this one is a f****** order; if you don't accomplish with this one you're really doing nothing. Go away and make something better with your life like having a pathetic RL job, trying for your wife to not cheat you with a REAL PILOT... ahem...
It would be sooo simetric and perfect for you to have a 10th order... but you haven't. :-P

Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)

It was just a matter of time and both knew it from the very beginning... sometimes evil plotting and lust for power, combined with a very undesiderable and NUTS nature do these things. So get your popcorn, ladies and gentlemen, and let's watch together the ominous end of this little chapter of TIE Corps recent history.

Some Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge dark maintenance corridor. Two loyal EH officers there, both loyal to The Emperor's Hammer, both loyal to the TIE Corps, even one of them loyal towards the other! It's only that when the recipient of your loyalty dies all of a sudden your responsabilities towards him are over. High Admiral Daniel Bonini, Flight Officer and TIE Corps Commander, stands in front of Major Zósite Kónstyte Styles, The Wicked Flight III Leader of Cyclone. Nothing very special; Captain Vertigo is on LoA and MAJ Zós has taken charge of the Squadron while he's out. Being Cyclone the current "TCCOM's Own" Squadron it would be enough to say that whenever the TCCOM needs from his personal escort it's Zós who he should contact. Nothing very special... if not for the fact that The Major NUTS (ever) is aiming directly at HA Dan's forehead with no less than a bloody LS-150 Heavy Accelerated Charged Particle Repeater Gun...

THIS thing...

HA Dan looks at Zósite closely, his hands clamped in fists of rage. Zós, however, seems somewhat embarrased and excited. And this nasty situation will soon ends one way or another, but all odds are on it to be *loud*.

<HA Dan> Why you... you filthy conspirator finally have what you were looking for, don't you? I should never have come here alone knowing I was going to deal with you and not Vertigo... >:_(

<MAJ Zós> My most sincere apologies, Sir, but after so much time of trying and failing miserably it seems my time has come. I've always been and I'm still at your command as a loyal TC officer you know... it's only that your "command" is about to be "decomissioned" the loud way and your pride won't let you to beg me for your life so I won't have to disobey you after all. Fair enough. >:)

<HA Dan> Damn... if only you would be so kind to throw that mayhem-maker away I'd explain you a couple of things on loyalty and the mandatory respect towards a Command Staff member let alone your supreme commander. ¬¬

<MAJ Zós> Unable to comply, Sir. Doing so would mean the possibility of failing again. I'm not Chuck Norris (aka. G0d) you see, and a hand-to-hand combat tends to be dirty and slow for a TIE pilot... ^_^u

<HA Dan> You retarded madman!!! Don't you realize that even after killing me you'll be caught and never be able to reach my position?!! >._D

<MAJ Zós> Worth a try...

But suddenly something happens. A nearby door opens and all corridor lights are tuned on. The Fleet Commander himself!, Grand Admiral Cyric, appears escorted by the pilots of Omega Squadron and several elite Stormtroopers guided by the Hammer Fist Prefect.

<HA Dan> BWHAHAHAHA!! Too bad for ya, Zós. You're doomed, my "friend". >:-D

<MAJ Zós> Crap... (:__|

<GA Cyric> Daniel Bonini Giuliano, I bring you news of critical importance. Of so much importance actually that I thought I should have brought them myself and so I did. Listen carefully.

<HA Dan> Sir? O__o

<GA Cyric> You're not High Admiral anymore, which makes you the shortest HA rank recipient ever. Funny. Ha Ha. Anyways, you're hereby promoted to Sector Admiral and granted the most distinguished position of Executive Officer of The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet, which makes you my second in command and my right hand for that matter. Did you understand?

<SA Dan> Y-y... y...

<MAJ Zós> O___Ou

<GA Cyric> Great. That's all I need to hear. I'm sure you'll do your best for the good of this great Fleet, performing as excellent as you did as Flight Officer. The FO/TCCOM position will be now for Fleet Admiral Jarek La'an, your long-time advisor. Both of you have more than deserved such improvement on your responsabilities within this Fleet and I'm sure my decission will be the best one possible because, hell, it's *MY* decission and if it would be a better one I wouldn't be here right now telling you this and... I mean: dismissed. I'll wait you at The Sovereign in 2 standard days.

The Fleet Commander abandons the corridor with his escorts not giving a damn for the fact that there was a dude aiming at his XO's forehead with some wreckage capable of turning a wookie into some 2D furniture. Sector Admiral Dan looks again at the crazy Major while trying to get his mind back. Zósite is still aliming directly at him but he seems to be meditating something important.

<SA Dan> Fleet Commanders, dammit... -__-U He surely thought I got a guy ready to blow up my duty cap 'cos he ordered it so or something...

<MAJ Zós> ...

<SA Dan> And you! Are you going to shoot already or what?!! Please have mercy and shoot at once so I can be having a breakfast with Lord Vader as soon as possible and not here seeing your nasty face! >.O

<MAJ Zós> ...I cannot do that, Sector Admiral, Sir... -__-U

Major Zósite lowers his little death provider and goes towards the door the FC used to go out a few seconds ago.

<SA Dan> WHAT?! Are you telling me a simple promotion, even if it's to CS-2, is going to stop your madness so easily?!

<MAJ Zós> I didn't say so, Sir...

<SA Dan> SO?!!! ~>.-F

<MAJ Zós> It's only I cannot use this crappy thing to blow up all an Executive Officer's head. My plans have failed yet again and it's all your fault (*sniff*) due to your excellent performance (*sniff*). Your are mean, Sir...

<SA Dan> Wait there you!! Where the hell do ya think you're going?!!!

<MAJ Zós> I'm now headed for the 'Sov' as well. I've heard Vice Admiral Pred rents its axial super-laser for a limited time. I just hope you won't be promoted to Fleet Commander or something while I am at it... >:-C

<SA Dan> ...

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)

(Not necessary to mention that without a working database these ranks are as updated as the damned FMC website and none of the profile links work... :P)

Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points)

[5652] & [509] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 3rd (40 points)

[121] & [42] LCM Ark-illos

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & No rank (0 points)

[98] & [0] LT Kael Dalor

Hussar [HUSS] (50 points) & No rank (0 points)

[71] & [0] LT H'Dey Omen

Lancer [LANC] (40 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[47] & [32] LT Vitaru

Grenadier [GREN] (10 points) & No rank (0 points)

[10] & [0] LT Dalon Holtz

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Reginald Q. Dork

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Psyntience

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Siriah Tan

? (? points) & ? (? points)

[?] & [?] COL Obi-Wan

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You HAD it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

CYCLONE SQUADRON OF WING X : Heavy Assault
COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) LT Dalon Holtz
3) LT Reginald Q. Dork
4) COL Obi-Wan

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Ark-illos
2) TBA
3) LT Vitaru
4) SL Psyntience

FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) TBA
2) LT H'Dey Omen
3) LT Kael Dalor
4) SL Siriah Tan

Squadron Citations (?):

HOW THE HELL DO YA WANT ME TO KNOW?!!! :________D

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
GS/SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-74BW-31BR-42SW-13SR-32GW-5GR-3PW/LoC-RSx2-CSx7-Rx4/DFC-SW-Rx4/MoC-13BoC-2SoC-2GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoLx2/CoB/OV [GLDR]
{IWATS-AIM-AMP-ASP-BFM-BX-CBX-CSS-DW-HIST-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-JS-LIN-M/1/2-MCBS-MP/2-MS-PHP-SM/3-TLN-TM/1/2-TT-VBS-WM-WPN-XAM-XMD-XML-XTM/1-XTT-XWAC-XWAI}
SP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / MP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / Top Gun of RtF 2007 / Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07-Dec07-Aug08 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07-Nov07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA-Nov07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."