09/16/2008: Many competitions are now in standby due to the lack of a working database. Check the "Competitions Section" or next WSR for details. But, did you hear by chance that ALL competitions are COMPLETELY on standby? Because I didn't say so... and when I say something and you decide to hear only those voices inside your head is when we start having trouble here... >:P
09/15/2008: Yay him!! Our own Daniel Bonini, former Challengite, not happy enough to have already usurped the üb3r-position of FO-TCCOM, has been also promoted to the coveted rank of High Admiral by Grand Admiral Cyric himself!! So there you have yet another reason to keep pestering him with all sorts of blackmailing issues involving those pics we have featuring the good old Dan in that party at the Wing Cantina. Yes, THAT party; do you remember that Hutt ambassador in some kind of sissy disguise who came to close some deal with Rear Admiral Angel? Well, our TCCOM doesn't. ^_^
Ohhh, and there have been other promotions and high-echelon shinies awarded in this little "friendly-FC" rampage. Check out yourselves at the main EH website right HERE.
09/15/2008: "And HELL followed..." - Revelation 6 : 8
As of now our main ways of communicating each other are:
Do I really need to say more?... (*sigh*) -__-U
09/14/2008: It's happening again! It has finally returned against all odds and it's looking for your souls and minds to develop pretty nasty things with them! That's it: Major Zós "THE NUTS" broadcasting brings you... (*drumroll*) ... "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #24"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section or better get yourselves something more valuable to read like "Astatine's Memories vol. CCCXLVIII in foglio: But I *REALLY* set up a Freeworlds server!" Yeah... cry me a river... ;-P
09/11/2008: Ok, people, get ready to use your worst face for this one. CommScan has recieved deep space transmission from CPT Vertigo, our astonishing CMDR! In this transmission he ordered us to not worry about him 'cos he'll eventually be here some way or another on 09/30 if possible. Anyway, all this had to be decoded by Intel before they forwarded us the info. Basically because the only understandable thing they could get there from the Captain was something like: "F***offyoubloodyfurrylittlebastardsI'mgoingtoteachyoumakeboozewithyourblood!!!" And also something like: "AssoonasIcanpickthedamnedMajorbytheneckI'mgonna..." So that's it. Dismissed.
*The rest of Cyclone prepare to abandon the Wing Cantina*
Oh, by the way, he also appointed ME as a-CMDR while he finds his way back here...
<The rest of Cyclone> (:______D
<MAJ Zós> ^_^
09/10/2008: "Storm Challenge", the inter-Squadron competition which will make us to engage Thunder Squadron has begun!!! You'll find all details in the "Competitions" section, or even better, on my incoming a-CMDR weekly report. For now, enough to say you're hereby commanded to fly TIE-FREE 45 and XWA-FREE 35 immediately and send in your pilot files to COL Domi. Next week we're supposed to be announced the other 2 missions for a total of 4. In the 3rd and last week we're going to make reports of all our accomplishments while flying those missions. Stay tuned! And for the moment... ummm... enjoy your lives, have fun, find yourselves a guy from Thunder and explain him in detail HOW are we going to win and WHY. >:-)
09/05/2008: From now on, LT H'Dey Omen, Cyclone 3-2, one of our newest "Demolition Dudes" is PROFessor of the following IWATS Courses at the IWATS Academy: [CBX], [IBX], [CSS], [IIC/1], [IIC/2]. Yes, I know... he went all the way to pure crazyness in almost no time. Or maybe... maybe he just can't wait to see all your faces as soon as he starts grading your tests with low-echelon letters. Behold!
09/01/2008: Attention, pilots! We have a new Cyclonite among us today! Please provide our classic drunk welcome involving all sorts of stupid dancing and illogical warfare to Lieutenant Kael Dalor, who has just returned to the Fleet from M/FRG Phoenix to join the ranks of "The Gale Providers" as Cyclone 3-3! But, hey! Stop pestering him about the goods of drinking! This is not yet another case of fresh Sub-Lieutenant meat but an experienced officer who was already here even before many of us were aware of the existence of this Cantina. Leave him alone! :-P
08/31/2008: New Cyclone report from CPT Vertigo out there! Check out the "Reports" section and read on all sorts of New Republic mayhem, alcoholic medic conditions affecting CMDR's performance, crazy droids fencing dirty scalpels and tied to an adv. concussion missile... not to mention mandatory CMDR's intimidation upon inactive pilots. You cannot flee from this one!
08/30/2008: From now on The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet accepts dual club membership. OMG!!! The f***** Armageddon I tell you! Basically you can now be from the rDB (Rogue Dark Brotherhood) and a loyal EH officer at the same time. WTF?!! Or even worse! Some dirty New Republic scumb and Imperial... pffft ¬¬ Desperate times require desperate measures you know. Check out EH news HERE for all details on such a mess.
08/30/2008: Say hello to Lieutenant H'day Omen, Cyclone 3-2! At last the "Gale Providers" gets another victim! The guy is so incredible that he joined the Fleet on 08/28 and in 2 days he had already his promotion to full LT, about 20 missions flown and an extra assignment as PROFessor at the IWATS Academy ([CBX] and [IBX] Courses). So far Captain Vertigo has offered to pay the drinks for both his assignment and promotion HIMSELF!! O_0 Does it mean our beloved CMDR is becoming a good person or maybe even human? We don't think so here, but we'll try to keep you updated on this one. Stay tunned.
08/23/2008: Captain Vertigo, your own daily nightmare (aka. CMDR) has been awarded today with his first and way too deserved Commendation of Loyalty for his outstanding dedication to the Fleet as a whole as well as his proven skills for blackmailing, merciless extortion and other interesting behaviours! Don't forget to congrat him with the appropiate amount of booze&gals®. Oh, and I was awarded 2 CoLs too, but I don't mind if you don't congrat me; booze&gals® shall be enough!
08/19-23/2008: Lieutenant Commander Ark-illos (19th) and Lieutenant Vitaru (23rd), from "The Wind of Change", have been at last awarded their first and last Commendations of Bravery for having met the proper flying requirements. Remember people, joining the Fleet is *NOT* enough, the full Lieutenant promotion is *NOT* enough (hell! I wonder how someone can be SL for more than 3 days considering that doing s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g is enough to free him for such a shame). What actually proves that you're performing as expected is the CoB, awarded for flying up to 30 missions, MP combat engagements or a combination of both! Then we start considering you as a mate and stop looking at you as a sloooooowly moving target. >.-)
08/17/2008: Lieutenant JMRabid, former Cyclone 2-2, has been AWOLed due to his unacceptable lack of communications with our CMDR. Remember: if you decide to perform like a standing wardrobe you better don't drop communication with your CMDR. In that case you'll painfully discover that "ostracism" and "kick-up-the-arse" are terms that go together in the Fleet. >.P
08/17/2008: Cyclone website updated at last!! Check its old sections and you'll see them all up to date. Fully armed and operational I tell you (<--- Palpatine dixit)! If anybody finds any inconsistence or outdated info here please don't hesitate to tell me about; the first thing I did when I returned to the Fleet was to provide me a full complement of heavy rockets with fancy ribbons for such circumstances.
08/16/2008!!!: The time has come!!! After MONTHS of oblivion while the greatest Cyclone Squadron kept performing superior and mantaining its deserved title of "TCCOM's Own Squadron" but this website didn't get a single update (my fault... -__-u) here we are again with all you, to continue providing the mandatory NUTness and mind punishing in order for all of you to remember that we're simply... beyond... beyond all hopes at least... :-P
So let's go with some info and we'll start by the book:
- Vertigo, former Flight II Leader, stepped forward while I was lost in vacuum and took command of Cyclone as Captain Vertigo!! A very deserved promotion indeed. Praise your new source of pain all of you fools!
- The roster suffered quite many changes since the last news entry down there. I reccomend all of you to take a good look unless you want to keep forwarding e-mails to former members, AWOLed people and other ghosts...
- Somehow (officially because we're the best, unofficially because we just cheat as hell and nobody noticed before >.-J) the amazing "Demolition Crew" managed to mantain their title of "TCCOM's Own Squadron", the most prestigious title ever among the TIE Corps that a single Squadron can get, in "Scramble the Escorts 2008" competition which took place last May. And not only that! Guess what! Our own Captain Vertigo, using from his usual collection of flying skills, intimidating blackmailing and pointy vibro-blades, ranked THE BEST PILOT there!! Don't forget to give your CMDR some peanuts for being the very best of us all! ^_^u
- We have a new banner! We have a new uniform patch! We have a new brand splendid collection of cyclonites performing and doing their best for their Squadron, Wing and Ship. Ready to perform! Ready to keep and guard the honor of being a true "demolition dude"! Ready to sign autographs under request if the appropiate amount of booze goes packed with such request! Don't forget!! >.-D
- And, finally, MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles, the crazy guy right now writing bollocks has returned among you after quite a long time of making something useful with his life (he just couldn't stand so much usefulness). He's at the micro! He's managing this very website! He's broadcasting NUTness 24/7! And on behalf of Captain Vertigo and Cyclone as a whole he won't let you flee so easily. Be afraid... be very afraid... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhah*grhds* (*argh*) (*gasp*) Urrrghhh X__x
- Now the micro -is at him-, perfectly possible whenever someone tries to use the psychotic laughing® while wielding a micro...
12/17/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #22" won't have mercy!! It's released. It's evil. It's angry. And it's coming for YOU. Find your issue at the "Reports" section if you're brave enough or just wait there, no matter where you are, because it will find its way to you and you'll meet your fate. >:-)
12/15/2007: Your NUTS-CMDR was awarded this:
Go figure... :P
12/12/2007: W0000h0h0h0h0h0h0!!! Check that "Meet the Squadron" section! We have 2 new INPRs there! LCM Vertigo and LCM Verde provide us with excellent backgrounds for their TC characters for us to fall even faster into the deepest pits of insanity. Worth a reading! Not doing so would be a lack of respect towards their splendid work there hence why I already read both (I'm still trying to convince these friendly officers in white to let me go out of this room; some idiot covered the walls with mattresses and banging my head on them is not funny anymore). @:|-D---
12/11/2007: Today Lieutenant Cochala, Cyclone 1-2, finally met his doom after being completely uncommunicative and inactive for a whole month. I can withstand the lack of activity but the total lack of communication makes me to remember those days when I was a fisherman on Tatooine; not because of my loneliness there (my crazyness was always at my side) but more because I miss those pointy hooks... ~>:-F
12/09/2007: New battles from the Tactical Office!! Admiral Dempsey's hounds are on fire and here you have new reasons to stop using your joystick as a fancy corkscrew for your booze. They don't want you to complete the Battle Compendium... EVER... and if you don't start doing something, and quick, they'll win!! :-|
12/09/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #21" found its way to your minds!! Either by you reading it from your inbox or picking it directly from here at the "Reports" section there's no escape! Resistance is futile and SNAFU, as usual... ^_^
12/08/2007: Our most sincere and enthusiastic congrats go to Lieutenant Kate C. Flyer on her deserved Imperial Security Medal, awarded in addition to the monthly one which will come from the MWE itself, for accomplishments exceeding the "monthly evaluation concept". And what are they supposed to be? Easy: the outstanding gathering of information and pics about old Cyclone History and past awards for me to be able to build the "History" and "NUTS Pinacotheca" sections right here, coming from the detailed docs she sent me on the subject. And also the entry she created for Cyclone at the "Encyclopedia Imperia". And all this on her own without me asking her for it. Splendid, Lieutenant!
12/02-03/2007: Shinies rain!! After "RtF 2007" someone up there decided that Cyclone could be a nice target for medal tossing far beyond all common sense. I won't go into details here (you have the WSRs for that, damnit! Not to mention your own profiles) but just let's say I immediately sent a request for the M/FRG Faith to send here some medic personnel with shovels for us to see the light of the Chal's corridors again. Add to that the recent fixing of last months Kill Boards by the Fleet Commander himself, thus the awarding of "Aces" pending medals and you get the "doom picture". Errr... YAY ON US!!! Or something... (:-P
12/02/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #20" did not complete mission!! But even then you can find your issue at the "Reports" section as usual. Either that or realizing that you actually DON'T need to read it at all. Are you fool or something?!!
12/02/2007: VICTORY, lady and gentlemen!! We got VICTORY in "Raise the Flag 2007"!!! :-D Those of you not having a rotten ewok up your ears hear and enjoy!
ISD Challenge = TIE Corps Flagship!!
Cyclone Squadron = TCCOM's Own Squadron!!
MAJ NUTS ever = Top Gun of Raise the Flag 2007
Time to celebrate this historic moment for our mighty Squadron, my minions!!! Time to taste the sweet laurels of victory and glory, and all this thanks to all our combined efforts so far! I'm most proud of you, and you have reasons enough to be proud of yourselves. So it is written so it be remembered!
Damnit!!! Bring me another bottle! I'm going to start crying again :____D
12/01/2007: New editions of our Squadron-level competitions submitted for December and already approved! And in addition to our classic "Pilot of the Month" and "Student of the Month" I submitted a new issue of "A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks!", our old and forgotten HS-hunting one. So there you have it again: 4 FREEs and 1 full month for you to get the highest scores possible and may the Bronze Side be with you. ;-P No excuses allowed unless you die or something, and under such circumstances seeing some excuse coming from you will be a little bit creepy... to say the least... (:_|
12/29/2007: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet achieves victory once again in November XWA Week of War CI thanks to the efforts of Admiral Anahorn Dempsey, our esteemed happy-TACcy flying alone there!! An outstanding effort at Admiral's side and shame upon us all for not helping her there -__-U Oh well... RtF definitely took its toll this time but next month we'll provide despair together once again!!
11/28/2007: ALERT!!! ALERT!!! All "isdchallenge" Internet hosting services changed to ORG instead of NET!! RA Darklord choked our former ISP admins. to death and got a new one for us (thank you, Sir, but next time leave something for us >:)) So far this is cyclone.isdchallenge.org, the mailing list is firstname.lastname@example.org, our fine COM's e-mail address is email@example.com and so on. It can't be more clear; if you still didn't get it come HERE.
11/26/2007: Yeah, I *KNOW* this date comes after the one below. So? >:F Anyway, "TIE Golf 2007" is finally over and your accursed CMDR got there 4th place being awarded tons of bronze wreckage. Our most sincere congrats to LC Tempest from Kappa who was the overall winner. And also some mention for Lieutenant Akur, Cyclone 2-4, who couldn't participate there against his wishes due to big computer trouble... (we think he tossed it through the window when it started providing hell :-P)
11/28/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #19" is out there!! Find your issue at the "Reports" section as usual or come to my office telling me you're going to stop all your activity for the rest of RtF Competition and I'll slap you with an issue until our glorious banner gets stuck in your bleeding nose. >:-P
11/13...±.../2007: Lieutenant Katherine C. Flyer, Cyclone 3-2, was appointed as a new Tactical Surveyor (TCS) around November 13th. And I didn't know about... until now... Kaaaaate!! A new position and you didn't tell me about? Keep me updated on these things damnit! ;-)
11/24/2007: "Raise the Flag" Multiplayer Bonus Competition is over and your "brain-dead" CMDR got there the laurels of victory ranking as 1st player and bringing to the Squadron and the ship 150!! more points to further emphasize our "Cyclone über-p0w4|-|"... or something. A grateful mention goes to Captain Wolfblade, Cyclone 1-4, for his dedicated flying there ranking in 7th place! ^_^ Time now to fly for the last RtF Bonus Comp., the Single Player one!!! Find the battles you WILL WANT to fly HERE. Scramble! Release the TIEs!! Release your rage!!! >:-]
11/23/2007: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet ranked as 2nd club on the October XvT Week of War CXII!! Not bad at all I'd say... but not good enough either! Next month, at last free from RtF madness, we'll teach all 'em who rule here yet again! Until then they can have their little and futile glimpse of glory... >:)
11/22/2007: Ahhh!! At last! At last some of the merit medals from last October MWE arrived today! Our best drunk congrats for Lt. Commander Verde on his deserved Palpatine Crescent for his outstanding levels of activity from a simple Flight Member during October, for Colonel Maverick on his Imperial Security Medal which rewards his Flight III Leadership during last month as well as his efforts towards the Multiplayer thingie, and for Lieutenant Akur on his first merit award, another ISM to properly reward his activity during his first month of service here, mainly as an exemplary student at the IWATS Academy. LCM Vertigo, please join your CMDR and start blackmailing our fine Commodore for you to get your shiny stuff soon... :-P
11/22/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #18" released!! Find your issue at the "Reports" section or find your issue at the "Reports" section or find your issue at the "Reports" section or find your issue at the "Reports" section two weeks two weekstwoweekstwoweekstwoweekstwoweeeekstwohhhweeeeekhssssyeeeargh!!!
11/19/2007: Admiral Anahorn Dempsey, our esteemed happy-TACcy, strikes again and gives us 2 more TIE battles and 1 new IWATS Course for us to taste the bitter truth of a CS Officer performing splendid! xD And here you are:
11/18/2007: Your own "please-someone-kill-him" CMDR has just won the Graphics Bonus Competition of "Raise the Flag 2007" with yet another example of how things shouldn't be done in graphics design (find it HERE) thus bringing 100 more points for the Squadron and the ship plus 10 for the graphic itself. Colonel Maverick, Flight III Leader, ranked in 5th place and Lieutenant Kate, Cyclone 3-2, in 10th, both with 8 points. Congrats to you two! Excellent work!! :-D
11/13/2007: Today we've got ready again our Imperial handkerchiefs™ to say farewell to Lieutenant Commander Godo Nurok, Cyclone 3-4, who finally left us and made his journey to the M/FRG Phoenix pushed there by heavy RL constraints which have been providing him hell for months. Good luck out there, Godo! I hope to see you back soon; you'll always have a place here as long as the ship remains in one piece (behold! I have a new booze mixture ready ):-P)
11/13/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #17" ready!! Find your issue at the "Reports" section, as usual, or better do something more useful as flying a little... finding a job... finding a friend... finding a life... tossing all that through the airlock and flying some more...
11/11/2007: Kate!! Kate!! We love you! Our own "Lady Cyclone", LT Katherine C. Flyer, Cyclone 3-2, has brought with her 75!! preciousss bonus points from the Fiction division of "Raise the Flag" where she ranked as 1st! participant being also awarded an IS-GR! Our most sincere congrats, Lieutenant! To better celebrate it I just added some link at "NUTS Pinacotheca" section and I'll include there not only her outstanding 20 pages fiction and Colonel Maverick's excellent one but also any further fiction you decide to send me involving Cyclone as its main "character". But it must involve the Squadron as a whole, don't forget!
11/07/2007: Guess what... EXACTLY!! PROMO PARTY is still running (anybody still up to notice about?)!! Your congrats this time should go to Lieutenant Brian Klem, Cyclone 2-3, on his deserved promotion following his performance at the IWATS Academy and first missions flown in behalf of his Squadron. Madness will continue until next Chal's day-cycle and I hereby order you to wake me up then so I can start looking for my "Imperiallex" pocket watch. Yeah, yeah... I know it's *STILL* on my pocket but we'll see what happens tomorrow if any of you gets up before me... ~¬_¬
11/07/2007: PROMO PARTY again!! (Mine wasn't a party but more like me fleeing and all you trying to catch me with the Cantina bill) Please provide your most warm congrats to Verde, Cyclone 2-2, on his deserved promotion to Lieutenant Commander! And to start by the book he has taken Flight II Leadership until LCM Vertigo returns from his forced week LoA. Good luck, Verde! Try to survive until tomorrow among those guys and you'll make me happy. ^^
11/06/2007: Then some mad Commodore decided to promote me to Major... "Major NUTS ever" it is!! Now here's your real challenge: have you enough "volatile stuff" to fight against such levels of punishment from your cruel flags? xD
11/05/2007: Some crazy Klatoonian Wing Commander thought it was in order to choose me as "Wing X Pilot" for last October. Leave me alone and send that "volatile surprise" directly to him instead. ;-P
11/05/2007: Captain Bjorn Wolfblade is again among us!! He returned from the oblivion of AWOL to his old Flight I to fill Cyclone 1-4 spot. I count on him for further MP action from "The Demolition Crew". Please provide him our classic drunk welcome involving senseless wandering through the engineering corridors.
11/05/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #16" tossed out!! Find your issue at the "Reports" section, as usual, or better get some good literature instead as the complete collection of "The Chal Will Go On: A Bottle for Each and Every Day" volumes I to DCCLXXVIII in folio by Rear Admiral Darklord.
11/04/2007: Last issue from the VSD Aggressor!! Some crazy COOA trying to fool people into thinking he's YOUR CMDR has decided to change the schedule of his hosted MP event, "Friday's Vaping Rhapsody", to Wednesdays at the same hour! Don't forget, as this is one of the few regular MP events we still have in this "MP? What's that? Does it come with peppermint?" Fleet. Get yourselves some LoCs and DFCs there in behalf of your Squadron and your ship damnit! :-P
11/04/2007: Damn and doom and doom and damn... Today we say farewell to Captain Bodo Dent, former Cyclone 3-3, who has requested his transfer to the ISD Subjugator where he's now assigned as Krayt 2-3. See you again, Bodo! But please, remember us from time to time and from that very sorrow try to underperform as much as you can during "Raise the Flag". xD
11/02/2007: Aaaaaand here we have with us yet another recruit coming from Platform Daedalus after having completed his training to fill Cyclone 2-3 spot in "The Wind of Change"! Please welcome Sub-Lieutenant Brian Klem into the ship the usual way. You can try to pretend you're sober but I honestly think it's better for him to know how we work here from the very beginning, so feel free to be yourselves (may Palpatine help us... :-|). Sub-Lieutenant Klem, we'll be expecting you at the Wing X Cantina for some "ground training". :-D
11/01/2007: She's here again with us!! Please provide your best Chal-style drunk welcome featuring the classic senseless dancing to LT Katherine "Valkyrie" Cantor Flyer, Cyclone Squadron re-founder and former ISD Challenge Commodore, now assigned as Cyclone 3-2 with "The Gale Providers"! She will be a true asset for the Chal in "RtF", you can be sure. And be ready to meet your doom when paying her the drinks since she's a true Chal oldie... No, I cannot help you there. Bankruptcy. Unable to comply. (*ahem*) ^.^U
11/01/2007: "Raise the Flag 2007" competition has begun!! Now it's time to defend the Flagship title for our mighty ship, the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge! Be ready to fight in the most important yearly competition within the TIE Corps. Find HERE all details and current scores as long as this nice website by Colonel Pickled Yoda is updated regularly. This is WAR gentlemen!! And I expect from all you to behave as the loyal Challenge Officers you are. Otherwise I'll come for you by night... and you don't wanna get some Missile Boat and its ordnance fun jumping out from hyperspace INSIDE your room, right? >:_P
10/28/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #15" out!! Please find your issue at the "Reports" section, as usual, or make yourselves a One-WSR-Ring to find them all and in the darkness bind them, in the land of ISD Challenge where the booze lie! xD
10/28/2007: I told you! I told you! Cochala did it! Please provide him your most sincere congrats on his deserved promotion to full Lieutenant within the Fleet, following his efforts in behalf of EH in the recent XvT WoW. NOW you can stop scratching your pockets and start scratching his in your neverending struggle against being sober more than some hours per week. And leave me some!! >:D
10/26/2007: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet achieves victory once again on the October XvT Week of War!! With inestimable help from several loyal TC pilots including the TIE Corps Commander himself, your own little branch of hell (let's call it CMDR), drove EH to the 1st!! place above all other SW online clubs out there. I hope someday you'll realize this is quite an accomplishment for our Fleet as a whole as it serves to increase our fame out there, and that means new recruits, our "Primary Goal" in these dark times. Therefore I hope to see some of you there helping us one of these days. =)
10/21-28/2007: The happy-TACcy follows the NUTS way by the letter! It seems Admiral Anahorn Dempsey learnt but very well how to do things when she was ""only"" a Cyclonite among us! Nowadays she's trying to bury us all under bloody waterfalls of new Compendium stuff. Go there and enjoy some quality-flying with no less than 5 TIE-TC and 1 XvT-TC battles! Your FCHG rank will be glad to hear from you again. ;-D
10/22/2007: Cochala is his name! MP his business! Please provide the Sub-Lieutenant, assigned as Cyclone 1-2 in my own "Eye of the Storm" Flight, one of our classic Chal-style welcoming parties. YES! Of course you'll have to scratch your pockets again you greedy rats! What else?! But don't worry, I'm sure he'll turn things by himself very soon with his first promotion. ;-) We sincerely wish you the best among "The Demolition Crew", Sub-Lieutenant Cochala!!
10/21/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #14" is out there!! Get your issue at the "Reports" section, as usual, or don't do it. Either way you can't avoid the fact that you're all crazy as hell and nobody could help you!! Obligated reference to Matthew 7, 1-6
10/19/2007: CPT NUTS' FCHG rank: Gladiator [GLDR]. Period. ^.^u
Ave, Grand Admiral Astatine! Morituri te salutant!! *
* : Find yourselves some decent latin dictionary, damnit! >:F
10/17/2007: MWE from last September has been processed at last by the Flight Officer!! Shinies upon us the way it should be! Our most sincere congrats to Captain Bodo Dent on his Imperial Security Medal and to Colonel Maverick and Lieutenant Commander Vertigo on their super-duper Bronze Stars of The Empire!!! (Oh, yeah... and another for me because I'm your CMDR and I cannot seem to be underperforming compared to you :-P). All these awards were well deserved I tell you and I look forward to keep on with my lies... err... I mean, with my detailed activity tracking in behalf of you all. Having been able to reccomend 2!! Bronze Stars for my Squadron in a single month fills me with pride! Keep on with your excellent activity and maybe I'll reccomend all a Silver Star for you one of these days as soon as I got completely MAD. Then I'll be FO's meat for having merrily passed over my own authority but at least you'll know your efforts were deserving it! xD
10/15/2007: Gentlemen, have ready your booze to congratulate Akur, Cyclone 2-4, in the usual Chal-style on his deserved promotion to full Lieutenant!! Feel free to use his first LT payment to provide yourselves with reasons enough to be happy on the upcoming party. And, Lieutenant, if you're trying to take over the IWATS Academy with your activity you can boss Admiral Astin (TO) if you want but be careful with what you do with 3 particular Courses... trust me: you *DON'T WANT* their PROF dooming on you... more than necessary... >:)
10/15/2007: Lieutenant Verde, Cyclone 2-2, has been awarded a nice IS-GR as winner of "The Number of the TIE Flying Beast" competition cause he was the 666th graduate of [TT] IWATS Course. Congrats, Lieutenant!! Just be careful with your satanic behaviours... :-P
10/14/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #13" is out there!! Grab your issue from the "Reports" section, as usual, or buy TODAY "Imperial Paperboy 2050" for the ImperialPlay(Golan III)SpaceStationDefinitelyNOTPortable (IPSSDNP) and suscribe yourselves in order to get your weekly issue tossed directly to your face each morning as soon as you show up your heads outside Cyclone quarters!!
10/13/2007: Lieutenant Kraxian Oxxysk, Cyclone 2-3, was declared AWOL today by the Flight Office after more than 2 months with no communications at all. LT Oxxysk, I'm wondering what could have happened to you; don't hesitate to contact me whenever you want/can explaining me about if you want to return. The rest of you, do the same without a *VERY GOOD* reason and I'll kill you before the Flight Office can even notice about your lack of communications I tell you!! ~>.-|
10/11/2007: Sub-Lieutenant Akur has joined today the ranks of Cyclone as Cyclone 2-4 after arriving from Platform Daedalus. Please provide him with the pleasures of one of our classic Chal-style celebrations!! And if I see any of you reluctant to pay him whatever he wants at the Wing Cantina I'll do as necessary for that money you're treasuring so well to be the last money you'll ever see here! ):-P
10/10/2007: Vertigo, former Cyclone 1-2, has been promoted to Lieutenant Commander and appointed as Flight II Leader, Cyclone 2-1, due to his outstanding accomplishments far beyond what we're used to see from a simple pilot. Now guys you know what is the way in order to improve the colour/number of squares at your rank badges! Members of "The Wind of Change", you may now contact LCM Vertigo for whatever thing you need and it's his duty to help you the best he can, but feel also free to contact me directly if you want. Members of "The Demolition Crew" as a whole, have at him! We have still things to drink in his behalf!! >:-)
10/08/2007: Lieutenant Colonel Kadon Beir, former Cyclone CMDR, (MY old CMDR, poor soul... xD) has just returned from the Reserves to be appointed as Wing Commander of Wing XIX on the ISD Subjugator! Have our most sincere congrats on your appointment, Colonel! And have also my menace: if ever your Wing XIX defeats Wing X in any event (?) you'll have me there commanding "Furry" in no time! Did I already tell you that I'm considering flying the whole Compendium again? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >.-D
10/07/2007: "TIE Golf 2007" is near! It will start in November but in order to participate you must sign NOW at the official TIE Golf website HERE. There you will also find the details of such an interesting competition where it seems that being NUTS is more a feature than a handicap. Check, check the rules there and you'll see... And remember there's even an über Iron Star with Platinum Wings up for grabs!!! What are you waiting for? Blow up the grass TODAY! >:D
10/07/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #12" is out AT LAST!! You'll notice it's quite a large report and that's because it has all the info I could gather from last 3 weeks as I was on LoA the first 2. Find it at the "Reports" section or ask at "Stan's" for a copy. Yes, Stan, Stan... that guy who already sold you a stupid wreckage calling it a ship and later a coffin and later a life insurance and...
10/04/2007: Ok, that's it. Praetorian Squadron achieved the honour of calling themselves the "TCCOM's Own" Escort Squadron for the time being and all efforts from Cyclone were for nothing... too many damn medals but the victory didn't end on our side. Check final details of "TC Squadron Championship" HERE. And as if it wouldn't be bad enough I'll reveal you the dark fact beyond our losing: we were only 2 PILOTS flying there! 2! II! 1+1 damnit!!! You let the elite dudes to steal us the title... >:_| Oh well, at least I hope you'll be more motivated for "Raise the Flag 2007" upcoming comp.; it's by far the most important comp. on the TC which occurs on a yearly basis to decide which will be the next TC Flagship for another year. Currently the ISD Challenge owns that distinguished title and I hope you all will do your best in behalf of your ship; and the only answer I'll ever accept for this would be "Three Bags Full, Sir! We'll perform!" ):-L
10/03/2007: New Fleet-wide competition from the damaged mind of your very CMDR!! "Kill 'em all! And do it QUICK!!!" will be running for a month and I hope to see your submissions there, guys. Check details HERE and also at the "Competitions" section. Now you don't need to hunt highscores but just to fly quick. What're your excuses? The best one will be awarded a splendid copy of "Britney Spears Greatest (S)hits"! Behold!
10/03/2007: LT Vertigo, Cyclone 1-2, has been chosen as Wing X Pilot of the Month for last September! Congrats for having deserved such a distinguished title, Lieutenant! And thank you for bringing to Cyclone the recognition. Now if you could only bring also here the booze in order to properly celebrate your new merits... No booze? No glory. Dismissed. >:-|
10/03/2007: All medals for September Squadron-level competitions have been awarded (check my next WSR to know about details) and new October editions have been already approved at the Training Office. And if you wonder why I didn't submit a new edition of our HS-hunting one ask yourselves about it... Ok, I'll help you a little: to have a competition running there's a basic ingredient. Not having it in the mixture turns to hell the very idea of "competition". And what would be such an arcane and coveted thing? P-A-R-T-I-C-I-P-A-T-I-O-N. No point on having just one pilot flying and the rest of you slackering. If you want another edition I'm up for it but you'll have to promise me at least some activity there! >:-P
09/21/2007: Shinies, gentlemen!! We have shinies rain here! At last that August MWE was processed. Our most sincere congrats to Colonel Maverick, Flight III Leader, and Lieutenant Verde on their Palpatine Crescents, to Lieutenants Lvpps and Kraxian Oxxysk on their Imperial Security Medals and to Lieutenant Vertigo on his impressive Bronze Star of The Empire on his very first month of service!! O__o All these were but very well deserved and I'm more than proud of all you as you provided me with enough reasons to fill my MSE with excellent reccomendations! Yeah, I also recieved a Bronze Star and whatnot; can I have a full jar instead? As you may already know I don't mind about shinies because my greatest satisfactions come from my duties well accomplished with honour and blahblahblah... touch my Bronze Preciouss and I kill you. Kill you!! And now it's time for paaaaarty!! :-D
09/17/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #11" has been released!! Find it at the "Reports" section or e-mail the Fleet Commander with the subject "Are you the dude who corrects typos on Squadron Reports?" in order to provide yourselves an issue. And later provide yourselves a priest and a significant tombstone.
09/16/2007: Just a name: "TCCOM's Own"... Does it ring a bell for you? Well, let me help you: It is the title that Cyclone Squadron has been deserving for long time already. And WE ARE GOING TO GET IT again (we already won it in the past), do ya hear me?! The Flight Officer has just released it from its former owners and it's again available for the best Squadron within the Fleet to get it participating in THIS competition. Find it also at "Competitions" section. So I want all of you flying your arses off on those 8 FREE missions immediately!! Our name and skills are ready to be proven! >:)
09/16/2007: Your "straight-from-hell" CMDR has decided to change his TC e-mail address due to some recent Hotmail trouble. It was ZositeKS@hotmail.com, now it's ZositeKS@gmail.com. Such a notable achievement of my own imagination when choosing the new one deserves at least my first OV echelon, no? And no, you aren't allowed to just send it to the Recycle Bin. You must write it down damnit! >:_P
09/09/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #10" is out!! Provide yourselves an issue as soon as possible! And later please send me one too; I just can't believe the amount of bollocks I'm capable to compile in a single report when I'm in the mood for it. I'll have to see it again in order to realize it. O__0u
09/07/2007: Plenty of new Fleet-wide competitions available for you to participate there and steal around some shinies for our little and humble collection. Either that or sending the Squadron to assault the OPS Office. And as I consider assaulting the OPS Office to be the best option I guess that participating in those comps. is the way to go. Check all them at the "Competitions" section.
09/04/2007: Lieutenant Vertigo, Cyclone 1-2, was awarded today his first IS-GR for scoring 90% or more in both [MP/2] and [AMP] IWATS Courses, filling the basis stated for my 'A Mission lasts 15 mins... A "Kill" lasts Forever!!' competition. Let's hope that one to be the first of a huge collection to follow. On the other hand if you're going to forward him your congrats, as it should be, don't forget to check his pockets; I'm pretty sure he's trying to reach the Wing Cantina unnoticed. And the rest of you participate in my next Fleet-wide comp. damnit! >:_P
09/03/2007: Your own coffins-tester (aka. CMDR) has been awarded today one of those IS-GW goldies for ranking the 1st! player in Pilot Section of August "Training Office Triathlon". Feel free to ask me for flying tips for the next opportunity; I already feel myself free to lie you badly! xD No, really, don't hesitate to ask me on the subject and I'll help you the best I can. =)
09/02/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #9" is out there!! As the truth... Find it at the "Reports" section or ask the Logistics Officer, VA Miles (The Fox) Mulder, for your issue. And if you meet Ms. Scully around wearing an Imperial uniform signal me immediately or I'll make you to drink water for the rest of your lifes!! O__O
09/01/2007: Lieutenant Vertigo, Cyclone 1-2: "Cyclone Pilot of the Month for August" & "Cyclone Student of the Month for August"... ¬_¬
Lieutenant Vertigo, Cyclone 1-2: heading my "Provide Pain to:" list for making me BSFing tons... 0>:-)
08/31/2007: Lieutenant Colonel Kadon Beir, former Cyclone CMDR and Flight Leader of "The Wind of Change", has resigned today and made his journey to the M/FRG Phoenix due to heavy RL issues. You'll always have a spot here if you decide to return, Colonel!! LT Verde, LT Oxxysk, now you're under my direct command for the time being until I find another loyal officer crazy enough to fill the spot, with a Major++ payment if possible. And may Palpatine have mercy with us all... >:__D
08/31/2007: Yet again The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet obliterates any opposition at the XWA Week of War XCVIII!! 3 EH psychopaths among the first 5 ranking players, being LC Dirty Vader "something's rotten in my kingdom" the 1st, COL Zystem Fryar "I must have a bot for that somewhere" the 5th and your own CMDR, CPT Zós THE NUTS "doom on a weekly basis", the 2nd!! ^_^u
08/31/2007: You have now new fresh editions of our Squadron-level competitions for September!! Check them at the "Competitions" section. I discontinued "Cyclone über-1337 of the Month" (nobody gives a damn here for MP apart from myself) but I also created a classic Highscores comp. for you: at last it's time for us to give those proud hisghscore owners a run for their money. Show them HELL!!! >.-D
08/26/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #8" is out!! Find it at the "Reports" section or ask the Logistics Officer, VA Miles Prower, for your issue. He told me that if you bring him 100 rings he'll be more than pleased to give you a WSR instead of a life. And something tells me you are in serious need of both. xD
08/25/2007: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet has now a new Tactical Officer (TAC/CS-3)!! Our most sincere congrats go to Vice Admiral Anahorn Dempsey, who was a Flight Leader in this very Squadron (check the "Meet the Squadron" section) not so long ago. As I'm a TCS within the Tactical Office I'm now under her direct command... definitely this Galaxy is like an overhauled Cantina... xD
08/24/2007: LT Verde, Cyclone 2-2, has been awarded today his first and last Commendation of Bravery! Last because you can only be awarded once with one of those...
/me looks at Grand Admiral Astatine's profile and his 2 Imperial Crosses
Errrr... yeah, well... show him the usual drunk ISD Challenge-style congratulations while I try to figure out how to hack the database with these ACME tools. >:P
08/24/2007: SL Lvpps, Cyclone 1-3, has been promoted to full Lieutenant today due to his efforts trying to decimate the Training Office providing the PROFs with something to do. Curse him!! (*ahem*) I mean, have our most sincere congrats on your first and deserved promotion within the Fleet, Lieutenant! And the rest of you, do something useful and bring me another jar using from his humble LT payment!!
08/20/2007: Today is THE DAY!! LC Tempest (a dirty "Sov", how did it come to this? :__D) has finally released an open beta of Tempest Tailoring Tool 2!! Get it from HERE and remember you'll need also POV-Ray for it to work. Now... I want all your uniforms updated within the week following the OPS guidelines you'll find at the TC newspage. So you can start forgetting about all those sissy things for the dress one; the last customized thing I saw more than an Imperial uniform it looked like a tasteless sequel of "My Fair Lady"... :-P
08/18/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #7" is out!! Find it at the "Reports" section or call "The Ghostbusters" to get your issue. The result will be the same: you'll pay with your sanity and you'll get almost nothing... ;-P
08/17/2007: Your accursed CMDR: from July MWE. Period. ^_^
08/17/2007: Colonel Rei Ayanami, Cyclone 3-2, the only remaining "Lady Cyclone", leaved us today and departed to M/FRG Phoenix due to RL priorities. Farewell, Colonel! Hope to see you back and even active one of these days. I heard you will try to get your Vice Admiral rank badge back there bribing the Admiralty Reserve, but how the hell are you going to... ... WAIT!!!!!! Where's my Glenfiddich stash?!!! AAAAAAARGH!!! X__x
08/16/2007: Our congrats to LC Kadon Beir on his Palpatine Crescent for his remarkable activity on last July!! The bad side is that if you try to ask him for some booze maybe he'll pay you some "sake" instead. He's soooo funny... Don't give up, Colonel! Try to endure the Japanese drinking habits! ;-|
08/11/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #6" is out!! Find it at the "Reports" section or mutilate some Rebels and interrogate 'em about a copy. No, none of them have a copy but it's so funny! ^_^
08/09/2007: New competition from the Training Office!!! And what a competition we have here, lady and gentlemen! The recently appointed TO, Vice Admiral Astin, has put there IS-GWs and IS-GRs up for grabs!!! What are you doing reading this?!! Go for some, you fools, and help us to earn the distinguished "TO's Own" title for the mighty ISD Challenge while you're at it! Details HERE and also at the "Competitions" section.
08/08/2007: Y-your... (*hic*) Your very own CMDR wasshh promoted to Captain t-today!!! Yaaaaay on meeeehihihihihi... hehe... (*hic*) BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! X__x
08/08/2007: No way!! This is NUTS!!! Yet another Cadet from PLT. Daedalus requested assignment among us. Please provide a warm welcome to Sub... emm... to Lieutenant Kraxian Oxxysk, as he was promoted about one or two hours after being assigned!! O__0 And if you're still up after so much party (sober? Not allowed... UP it is) try to blackmail him to pay the booze, as usual... I... I c-can't... (*hic*) (*ahem*) o__ou
08/08/2007: Salute, Fleet Admiral Maverick, former Challenge Commodore!! And now enjoy the pleasures of commanding our Flight III, "The Gale Providers", in Cyclone 3-1 FL spot. Now we have a Flight III Leader again, and what a Flight Leader! Please provide him a warm welcome and don't hesitate to ask him for help if necessary. Now you're in active duty again, COLONEL Maverick... ;-P
08/07/2007: Please provide a classic Challenge drunk welcome to SL Lvpps, who joins us from PLT. Daedalus to take Cyclone 1-3 FM spot!! And know that he's already an experienced Multiplayer guy that was recruited during the Week of War. GL & HF, Sub-Lieutenant!! ;-)
08/06/2007: Verde promoted to full Lieutenant!! Congrats on your well deserved promotion and now be ready to fight for your money. We're thirsty! And promotions give us access clearance to your duty uniform's pockets... >:D--------
08/05/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #5" out!! Find it at the "Reports" section or try to fool your local hairdresser for him to rent you an issue.
08/05/2007: Vertigo promoted to full Lieutenant!! Ok, you can empty his wallet again you booze greedy drunks! But leave something for your CMDR! I'm dry... :-P
08/04/2007: Today Captain Bjorn Wolfblade, Cyclone 1-3, has been AWOLed. Doom and ominous Shakespeare-like stuff upon us!! As he was a moderate active pilot not so much time ago I wonder what could have happened to him. If any of you has more info on the subject I'd appreciate if you could tell me about. Sadly I couldn't do anything but AWOL him since he stopped all communication levels more than a month ago... :-(
08/03/2007: That NUTS nightmare you have as CMDR (sorry, Green 2-3 xD) did it again! With help from The Smelly One® (aka. LC Dirty Vader, Praetorian CMDR) and also a little from LT Damien Katana (Thunder) we destroyed foreign hopes on the July XWA Week of War, where we drove The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet to the 1st!! position (yes, AGAIN). DV ranked 1st player overall while your hopeless CMDR ranked 2nd and this new LT MPer promise 5th.
07/31/2007: We have new blood here, lady and gentlemen!! SL Vertigo and SL Verde have just joined our glorious Squadron from Platform Daedalus to fill Cyclone 1-2 and Cyclone 2-2 FM spots respectively! Please provide them a warm welcome and keep them away from my "Secret Destillery"; those Ewok furballs tend to turn but very happy on new arrivals and I found them swimming on the booze mixture more than once... (*blarg*) X__x
07/29/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #4" is out!! Find it at the "Reports" section or read your new issue at the nearest coffee-shop, after replacing your classic coffee for a dangerous dose of happy-pills and tasty tumbleweeds! ^_^
07/28/2007: Lieutenant Commander Godo Nurok, former Flight Leader of "The Gale Providers", has stepped down to take Cyclone 3-4 Flight Member position due to heavy RL constraints. The blackmailing stuff has already started on my part to find some poor sou... ermm... somebody to fill the spot ASAP. Apply TODAY if you feel up for it, but keep present that activity requirements for a FL are higher than a normal FM.
07/28/2007: Your very own CMDR drove The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet to the 1st position on July XvT Week of War with the inestimable help of LC Dirty Vader, that smelly guy commanding Praetorian!!!! If you want to see me happy go and develop your MP skills in order to be able to join us there. If you don't, go and develop your MP skills in order to be able to join us there! >:)
07/24/2007: Green and Red Squadrons from the MC-80b Calamari Cruiser Redemption won the competition against Inferno Squadron and ourselves... another like this one and I'll need a dramatic increment on my daily amount of happy-pills. Please, lady and gents, let's get some flying activity here!! Last thing I heard was that we're flying tombstones... >:P
07/22/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #3 " out!! "Reports" section. Bollocks. Insanity. Just what you were waiting for. Read your very own issue of "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles" TODAY!!
07/15/2007: "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #2 " is out!! Check it at the "Reports" section!! "Again?" "Of Course!" "Really?!" "True story!!" :-D
07/14/2007: Sub-Lieutenant Tyrian, Cyclone 3-4, has been AWOLed given his "amazing levels of communication"... because he was assigned here, I think... or something... :-P
07/13/2007: Lady and gentlemen!! (*drumroll*) HERE you are our very new Cyclone patch to use with LC Tempest's new uniform system! It's my own design so if you don't like I'll be more than pleased to doom on you. >:-P No, really, send me your suggestions if any. If you want to know how does it look for real on an uniform you can check mine at my profile.
07/12/2007: Wing Commander Angel decided at last about the 2 FREE missions we will need to fly in order to participate on his monthly Wing flying competition as well as the main subject for his fiction related one. "Competitions" section, as usual. And now let's show them all what we use to do with those who dare to challenge us, even from our own ship!
07/11/2007: New flying competition from the Flight Office!! If you were hoping our new FO to be as crazy as the Hobbit tossing shinies everywhere you were RIGHT! Check the "Competitions" section and try to fly all that stuff looking for highscores before the end of the month.
07/10/2007: My IWATS related competition has been approved at last!! Check it on the "Competitions" section and participate if you can!! IS-GRs and IS-SRs up for quicky dudes and roadrunners to grab!! :D
07/10/2007: Cyclone Flight III has a new Name and Motto. Take it a look at the "Roster" section. It was my very own idea as I haven't recieved any suggestion on your part... slackers... ¬_¬
07/08/2007: First "Cyclone NUTS Chronicles" is out!! Check it at the "Reports" section!! :-D
07/05/2007: Today begins our Squadron competition joining Inferno against Green & Red. Check the Competitions section for more details and fly!! Fly and look for those highscores! You have until 07/22 to show them hell. Send me your pilot files ASAP to start making those Squid Heads to accept the bitter truth >:-D
07/04/2007: Lieutenant Xgmx, former Cyclone 2-2, has been expelled from The Emperor's Hammer under charges of disrespect towards EH members and conduct unbecoming an officer not to mention multiple violations of EH Bylaws. And the Galaxy breathed again... :___D
07/03/2007: My first update to this splendid site in order to reflect some changes is ongoing... I'll keep this splendid LC Beir's design and only do some relevant changes here and there. If any of you have any complaint/request/suggestion about I'll be more than pleased to hear after the appropiate bribe, of course.
07/03/2007: I'm trying to communicate all you ASAP to start working. Is absolutely mandatory either to answer my mails or to contact me via IRC. AWOLs can be awarded otherwise... :-P
07/03/2007: Plenty of competitions for you all to pin some wreckage at your chest!! Check the Competitions section!!
07/01/2007: CM Zósite Kónstyte Styles is now your CMDR fellow Cyclonites ;-) LC Beir stepped down due to RL issues and replaced him/me/whatever as Flight II Leader.
06/23/2007: Mega-Report #37 is up, obviously LC Beir is back from his RL Leave.
05/27/2007: Report #36 is out. The website is fixed as well.
05/20/2007: Check out the run-on! Report #35 is up! If some of the cool things aren't showing up it is most likely due to me moving the website. Now I have to figure out what is wrong!
05/13/2007: We beat the fish! Cyclone Digests 33 and 34 are up and the site has been updated a bit.